Top 52 Blokes Quotes & Sayings

My music, it's hitting the real people. It's hitting the mums, it's hitting the blokes and the lads, it's also hitting the kids and the people my age.

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

I don't find offensive that I'm being labelled a babe by blokes. I'm absolutely flattered.

You never want an Australian with his back against the wall. You put any 12 blokes together and you'll get a job done. Whether it's getting a bogged four-wheel-drive off the beach or standing in front of a cricket wicket and making sure we're in a dominant position. It's the same dog, different leg action, so to speak.

Yes, I certainly look for strong characters - whether that means they're strong in their vulnerability or strong in the way they might be attractive to lots of blokes.

Loads of blokes think they're funny, but it counts for nothing unless you get up and have a go.

I am much more happy in a country pub with 10 blokes having a pint than going to a night club.

We never thought of ourselves as a girl band. We dressed like blokes.

What intrigues me is that there are funny people in the real East End. It's famous for it. There'd be blokes dressing up as women as a lark, but 'EastEnders' seems blind to the fact that they enjoy a laugh. There should be a cheery chappy on there.

The Beatles were a phenomenon, but they were also ordinary blokes like anyone else. I was lucky enough to see that side.

The problem wiv some blokes is that wen they ain't drunk, they're sober.

I'm quite British in the sense of not expressing my emotions much. I save it for my songs. If you ask about a death in the family, or a lover, I will not be emotional. I'd probably answer with a smile. Because that's what we British blokes do.

Good big blokes are better than good little blokes. Then again, good little blokes are better than dud big blokes. And dud big blokes should play something other than Rugby

It's funny. I don't really think of us as TV presenters. I think of TV presenters as responsible people who show children what to do with empty fairy liquid bottles. Not a couple of blokes who don't mind telling kids to shut up.

Basically it's just a whole bunch of blokes standing around scratching themselves

We will unconditionally worship Rahul Dravid and Sachin Tendulkar, partly because we approve of their well-mannered modesty. They are non-threatening, good hearted blokes - the boys we take home to Momma.

The rest of the Spice Girls wanted to invite the entire Bayern Munich team because they reckoned they'd never known blokes to be on top for 90 minutes and still come second.

I say to the young blokes, when you get asked for an autograph, don't knock it back because there'll be a time where no one will ask you.

I'm not saying Christopher Pyne and all them are my enemies, they're great blokes, shouted me a few beers a couple of times which I like, it's - we have got to sit down with the people like that. We have got to sit down with people like that and negotiate and work our way through. If we don't do that then we're just going to continue the sins of the past.

I was one of four blokes that done drama at my school.

I've lost count of the number of blokes who've come up to me over the years and said 'thanks for making it OK for indie guys to get on the dance floor.'

When I lived in Hungerford, it was wake up 5:30 A.M., get to the van at 6 A.M. with eight other blokes, drive to Shinfield, which is in Reading, 45 minutes away. Start at 7:30 A.M. to 4:30 P.M. with two half-hour breaks and then home. Train Tuesday and Thursday and then play on Saturday.

I have learned from my mistakes... the business we are in is cutthroat. I have seen too many older blokes give their all for clubs, then be told they are not wanted. Even blokes still on contract are told to look elsewhere.

I used to think anyone with abandonment issues was a waste of space. But you do need to get help. Blokes don't talk about those things. It's a taboo in the bloke world.

Where I live if someone gives you a hug it's from the heart. I've had these blokes in Hollywood hug me trying to make out I'm their friend and as soon as I turn their back they take out a big bunch of knives and stab me in the back. I feel sorry for these people because they are so shallow.

Maybe if I'd not been able to kick a ball it would have been different, but I doubt it because all my mates are decent blokes now, just normal fellas with families.

When you go to clubs in London there are loads of good-looking blokes, and I feel like a bit of a minger

Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I love watching 'UFC' - Ultimate Fighting Championship - I don't know why, because I'm more of a coward than a fighter, but I seem to be very drawn to these blokes actually smashing each other to bits.

I like Paul Smith suits and he told me he didn't do suits for fat blokes, so it was my aim to get into one of those.

Sometimes when you start improvising on stage, which I do a fair bit of, obviously you haven't planned it. But to be honest, it's not like I'm one of these blokes who is sitting at home pouring it all out and then does a different thing on stage.

Sad old blokes, I'm told, now dream of me with a whip in hand.

I actually think I'm lucky. Because blokes who lose their hair at a later age, in their thirties and forties, get hung up about it. Because they had hair and then lose it. But I've never had that problem.

I love how the men stand around cooking the barbie while the women have done all the work beforehand doing the marinade and making the salads and then everybody says, 'what a great barbie' to the guy cooking. A barbecue is just the ultimate blokes' pastime, isn't it?

As I get older, it's getting more frustrating because I'm starting to think about what I'm going to do after cycling, and I may be pushed to study alongside riding in order to prepare for retirement - all those things the professional blokes don't really have to think about.

We're like regular blokes.

Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging.

Joke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an example: Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I think women, especially, are bored of blokes being useless.

It seems like the older bands are bigger than ever. We get a mixed crowd where you have kids and old blokes like me.

Basically, a manager is a father figure to 20 or 25 blokes. It's about trying to get the best out of them and creating team spirit.

I did a few mainstream clubs in Birmingham when I started out. Racist comedy was absolutely the norm. Every act was doing it and when blokes talked about their wives or women in any way it was always derogatory.

In our day-to-day lives we're not very introspective - especially not British northern blokes.

The first thing is to be patient, which is probably the hardest thing to do. Don't worry if blokes are whacking you out of the park because you still have the opportunity to get him out next ball, even if it's not the same ball.

People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're on stage. Blokes don't have that worry.

I still get blokes who say, 'Oh you hate men, don't you?' And I say, 'No, I just hate you.' I really love doing that, just to see the look on their faces.

I have seen pretty horrible blokes thinking they can do pretty much what they like over the years, not just in showbusiness but in ordinary jobs and in pubs and stuff.

In the States a lot of Hispanic and black audiences are gravitating towards 'Peaky Blinders.' A mate of went into a bar in Santa Monica and sent me a photo of four blokes dressed as Peakies - they meet every week for a 'Peaky Blinders' evening.

I think blokes definitely sweat on most things when it comes to being questioned by women.

I've never had knickers or marriage proposals. Most of my fans are blokes serving life in jail, troubled kids, and a lot of gay guys. I never get the mid-20s, beautiful women fanbase.

Is it in the interests of Britain to leave or remain in the EU? As we saw in the referendum, there are different Britains and they see their interests in different ways. For a lot of everyday blokes the EU affected their sense of identity in ways they disliked, and they were right in thinking that the EU didn't return much to them by way of economic benefits.

I think it's better if blokes can admit that they can have crushes on other blokes. I've probably had crushes but never really sexual crushes on men.