Top 1200 Comedy Club Quotes & Sayings - Page 10

I guess there are no real strict rules [in comedy], but I just learn to apply my philosophy about comedy which is, it's a serious business and the result needs to be funny, not the process.

[on making the transition from the comedy "Mary Tyler Moore" (1970) to its dramatic spin-off series "Lou Grant" (1977)] We were really worried about changing over from a three-camera, half-hour comedy to a one-camera, full-hour drama. The audience wasn't ready for the switch - even CBS billed us in their promos as a comedy. In fact, the whole thing was impossible. But we didn't know that.

I think there's a difference between making comedy and reporting comedy. When you're a joke teller you can easily fall into the second, you can show up and just say the jokes.

That is the problem with comedy in India. Spoofing sells. Come up with original comedy about the hilarious nation we are, with funny accents and odd rituals, and we get into trouble.

The first purpose of comedy is to make people laugh. Anything deeper is a bonus. Some comedians want to make people laugh and make them think about socially relevant issues, but comedy, by the very nature of the word, is to make people laugh. If people aren't laughing, it's not comedy. It's as simple as that.

I focus all the way on the club. That's why my music sounds the way it does, with the 808, heavy kicks. Every aspect of it is about the club, so I don't really care about the person who's listening on an iPod.

In college, I didn't perform so much, but when I graduated is when I discovered Second City. Then I realized, 'Oh, there are people who can focus on comedy and especially improvisational comedy and make a career out of it.'

Some forms of reality are so horrible we refuse to face them, unless we are trapped into it by comedy. To label any subject unsuitable for comedy is to admit defeat.

I'm Here All Weak might be the strangest comedy album I have ever heard. But I've listened twice, which is more than I listen to 90 percent of all comedy albums, so I think I love it?

There are two types of actors. There's the actors who can acknowledge that they could never do standup comedy. Then there's the pretentious ones, who believe that acting is harder than standup comedy. I definitely don't think it is. I also think making a comedy is substantially harder than making a drama.

My dream was never necessarily comedy. I really wanted to make film or television and was interested in darker stuff over comedy, but I knew I liked dark comedies.

Everyone tells me I need to do comedy. It's never something that crossed my mind, but to be able to do a true comedy and make people laugh, that would be great.

The Bundesliga is a lucrative league, and in Germany, the best club is Bayern, and I wanted to play for the best club in Germany.

I've always been a big fan of comedy and sketch comedy, and I like to laugh, but you can't just be funny. You do have to work at it, and you have to try to know what your role is and when you can insert humor, or when it's best not to.

The economics favour one-man comedy shows: all you need is one person, a microphone and a PA system. But I'm pleased so many people are making a living out of comedy - it's a wonderful business to be in.

If I have to, I'll keep going until my career ends, but I think I've found a club to put down roots. A traditional club that supports its people, people who believe in it and give everything. I'd like to be part of that, a great footballer for many years for Arsenal.

When people ask me what club I supported growing up, I didn't really watch club soccer. The only channels I got had World Cups and the Copa America, so I gravitated toward the Latin American, South American style of game.

I find that I'm just drawn to anything that's going to challenge me as an actress. So any time I get a chance to do a little comedy, that's also a nice change for me. Most of the time people think of me as a dramatic actress and singer. And there's a challenge there because comedy is hard. What do they say? "Dying is easy; comedy is hard."

The struggle you see in the Republican Party today is the country club Republican versus the bowling alley Republican. Colin Powell brings us back to the country club image. He's an insider. He's a moderate.

I just wanted to be in show business. I didn't care if I was going to be an actor or a magician or what. Comedy was a point of the least resistance, really. And on the simplest level, I loved comedy.

A formula for comedy is comedy equals tragedy plus time. A difficult or uncomfortable situation takes place, and then you laugh about it later down the road.

You cannot compare the way someone plays for a club and for a national team. At a club, you spend every day with the same players. In a national team, you are with your team-mates for only a few days.

The best comedy to me - and again, I grew up with comedy since I was a baby, so I've seen it all - is when you exaggerate the truth, like Richard Pryor did, you understand?

We always wanted to make a comedy that was a little bit more than that, which had tragic elements to it... that people engaged with - an intelligent comedy essentially.

Standup comedy is inordinately difficult. If doing something else for a living will make you equally happy, choose that instead. I'm serious. Comedy is punishing.

I am not going to lie: I know that there are clubs that want to sign me and can match Real Madrid's demands. But that's up to my representatives and the club. I will stay if the club wants me to stay.

Sometimes I would like the opportunity to do character-driven comedy and that's really what I was trying to do in Meet The Parents. I think in a way this is a more old fashioned type of comedy.

Leaving Liverpool was the toughest decision I had to make in football because I was in an exemplary club, a proper football club, with a lovely and sharing stadium that meant a lot of things to me. The fans are the best in the world, no doubt about that, and I was comfortable there.

My first time on stage was the class "graduation" at the Comedy Store. It was awesome. Everything got huge laughs and I just thought I knew how to do comedy.

A lot of people talk about clubs but if something happens the club will know and will inform me. If one club wants to buy me we will have to sit together to take the decision.

Every club you sign for, they give you the same pitch - 'We've got a big project, big ambitions. We want to achieve this and that. We want to kick on' - and I just happen to be lucky that City was the one club that didn't lie about it.

As far as I know, Mr. Watzke has not said he would sell me if somebody offered 100m. He has emphasised that the club would like to continue working with me. The club is just greedy for success - and so am I.

Over the four years we have made massive progress: winning the League Championship (97/98); building the largest club stadium in the UK (60,000 seats); having the largest support (52,000 season book holders) of any club in Britain. This has been achieved by everyone who cares about Celtic working together towards a shared vision of football success and pride in a club which is part of our culture, open to all and a responsible member of the community working to help others where it can.

Comedy was my sport. It taught me how to roll with the punches. Failure is the exact same as success when it comes to comedy because it just keeps coming. It never stops.

We often surround ourselves with the people we most want to live with, thus forming a club or clique, not a community. Anyone can form a club; it takes grace, shared vision, and hard work to form a community.

Voice actors I used to know who were starting out in comedy were guys who did a lot of voices. They were usually comedy actors who developed their comedy by doing tons of impressions and voices that were usually very funny. And I never did any of that, so that's, I guess, why I don't consider myself a voice actor.

Comedy clubs were something that came to pass in the '80s, but toward the end of that, in the early '90s, people started doing comedy again in alternative spaces.

Loads of stuff that I've done has always had a hint of comedy. I did this show called 'Psychoville' that's a horror-comedy. Because I just think that's what life's like.

In comedy terms, usually when the weather's bad, it goes much better. When it's sunny, people don't come to see comedy gigs because they're all really happy and don't need cheering up.

A lot of people who do drama say comedy is the hardest thing, but, not wanting to sound like a bighead, comedy is easy for me, as I've always been fairly funny.

There is some Eighties music that is just timeless. The melodies, the lyrics... I called it church. Church in club. You can shout and dance. The best of the Eighties was club church.

Just playing with the lads in school, really, and having a kick around, and I ended up at a Sunday club just for girls, and there was only about 15- 20 girls there, and I just moved on to a club from there.

I think, strangely, a strip club can tell you a lot about the city you're in. If you call a strip club "Tuna's," I've gotta go in there. Usually you're not seeing the top talent around, but it's not about that. It's about the experience.

I think in the future we need to look at our youth department to provide more players for the first team think it is important for a club to have a good amount of players that have roots with the club and region.

I've got the opportunity to manage a big football club, a seriously big football club, and I wasn't going to turn that down.

Comedy comes from tragedy, and being Iranian in America from 1979 on had been quite tragic. In stand-up comedy, I was able to take the reality and exaggerate it.

[Robert Smigel] is one of the greatest comedy writers in the last 50 years. "TV Funhouse" and Triumph and all those sketches.He's really unique, and he has an amazing comedy mind.

Then we did what we called basically I suppose a club tour in England, which was the time I think that our second album came out, we club toured around the whole country where the venues were hold to five hundreds upwards to that sort of thing you know.

I knew I didn't want to be a doctor but didn't know what I wanted to do. I prayed, and all I heard back was: 'Do comedy.' It was something I had never done before, but I gave in, tried comedy, and the rest is history.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

Both my comedy partner, Steve Punt - who grew up in Reigate and is the son of a civil servant - and I come from similarly suburban backgrounds, and its really what fuels our comedy.

In comedy, when you bomb, especially at The Comedy Store in front of a sold-out house? I think it would have been way worse if I bombed there than losing a UFC fight.

The crooks downtown figured out that comedy is like a hammer. It can put up a barn and it can knock down a wall. So they bought it outright and marketed it as Comedy Central.

If you are young and open, and start loving football and really think about it then there are not a lot of alternatives to LFC. If you are a fan of another club it's okay too. But if you want to be a fan of 'the' club then it's Liverpool FC.

I think comedy is on an organic upsurge right now because when I started, it was 1978 at The Comedy Store and Letterman had just stopped emceeing his morning show.

It doesn't take a lot to imagine what City means to me: it's been my life for the last almost ten years now. I'm grateful for what the club has given me, and I've given everything to the club.

I like comedy but I guess I don't think [my art] is that funny, either. It's too dark and a bit weird in places to be genuinely, uniformly hilarious and function as comedy.

I never looked at my future as comedy. Even at Second City, I always thought of it as acting. I knew I was going to be an actor, financially, emotionally, egotistically. I still don't think I'm in comedy.

Every opportunity to win is sacred. It's sacred to us inside the organization, and it should be sacred to the fans as well. They deserve our best efforts to do what we can to improve the club and put the club in position to succeed in any given season.

I think 'Mean Girls' was a kind of significant movie. It was a very successful comedy, and it was also before 'Bridesmaids,' and it really launched some of today's biggest women in comedy.