Top 1200 Comedy Club Quotes & Sayings - Page 5

As a boy, I was a member of a club run by the famous reptile showman Ross Allen, and the club sent its members pseudoscientific papers mimeographed on construction paper with a three-hole punch.

Here's the thing, with comedy - and I learned this from Will Ferrell - you can't be ashamed. If you're doing comedy, you have to fully commit to the joke. Shame is not part of it. If you act shy or uncomfortable about your body, that makes the audience shy and uncomfortable. And in a comedy you just want them to loosen up and laugh.

I was disappointed not to be able to sign [for Barcelona] last season. When the best club in the world calls you, then it is something that you want to happen. I have signed for the only club who really wanted me. In no moment did I ever think that Inter was a possibility. Rafa valued me and perhaps that is why people started saying that I could go there but this is the only club that pushed to sign me.

As a writer, I haven't delved into dramatic writing. As an actor, I could always, even more so than comedy, do drama. When you do your comedy and your drama, your acting style doesn't change. If it's a comedy, the situations and the characters might be a little funnier, but you're just trying to be honest.

I would like to do a romantic comedy, but not a romantic comedy that is cheesy. I want to do an old romantic comedy like Roman Holiday or My Fair Lady.

We have little bits of comedy throughout our films but this is like a full-on comedy. I had great time. It was fun to do a comedy and see a lot of the people I worked with on our previous films and meet some new actors. It was a good experience for me.

I remember the first time I was booked into a jazz club. I was scared to death. I'm not a jazz artist. So I got to the club and spotted this big poster saying, 'Richie Havens, folk jazz artist.' Then I'd go to a rock club and I'm billed as a 'folk rock performer' and in the blues clubs I'd be a 'folk blues entertainer.'

I think some songs are better on vinyl. I would rather listen to it in a club! 80% of this album; put it on in a club and just rage! Play it super loud!

Real Madrid is a big club, and like at any other big club, too, there are always critics after defeats.

If I looked back on 2019, in ten years' time, and I'd only made club tune after club tune, what's the purpose?

Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

I hate this guy,” Ari muttered, keeping his head down “There’s a club,” I told him. “The Haters of ter Borcht Club. Have you gotten your badge yet?

Atlanta is down south, the club. So the most thing played down there is club music. Everybody wants a hit.

I've tried to create a comedy that doesn't look like any other comedy. Maybe traditionally in TV there has been a kind of formula that says, 'Oh, comedy has to look this way; it has to look super bright.' But the way we shoot 'Insecure' is motivated by the mental state of each of our characters.

You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun is out, you got some problems!

In the mid-1970s, there was this huge boom of stand-up comedy throughout North America. I went to see a show at a club called Yuk-Yuks, in Toronto, and I was just fascinated. I ended up coming back for amateur hour on a Monday at midnight and got up there without any thought as to what might come of it.

I want to thank Inter for having appointed me at this great big club. I want to bring this club to where they should be.

You can play for a smaller club, make a mistake, and no one will really highlight it, but when you play for a big club, whatever you do is going to be in the papers.

I am always in love with Milan. The relationship with the team, with the club, and with these fans is beautiful. It's weird for a Brazilian to have a relationship like that with an Italian club.

I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like its crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like its laughing. Nowadays, we would say, How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.

I started playing at my local estate club. I used to wake up every morning to go to play in the club. I loved it so much, it brought a lot of wonderful things in my life.

When I was a young man, I worked at the Boys and Girls Club in St. Louis, Missouri, and another boys club called Matthews-Dickey.

I know the 'big spending club v. smaller club' theme is popular in the Premier League. I don't think about it - we are 30 teams trying to win the championship, and you do what you need to do.

There is a lot of crap spoken about footballers being nomads but when you get to a club and you create a spirit, there is no doubt players want to do well for their team-mates and club.

It's really important that when you come to a club, you know the history. My dream was always Real Madrid or Barcelona, but for the fans of Tottenham, the club is the biggest in the world. So that's how I treated it.

As an ex-stand up, I can tell you that a comedy club isn't a place you go looking to get the abuse you just can't seem to find in daily life. The stage is a performer's domain. You protect that domain. You are not on stage to take what's given just 'cause you're getting paid. If you are attacked, you retaliate.

My first proper kitchen was this funny little club that we set up in Mercer Street in Covent Garden. It got shut down. Then I worked at a club in Notting Hill.

I didn't want to do comedy again. It is way harder when you are doing comedy. You can't just concentrate on the character and the plot. In comedy, the writers, instead of obsessing about character and plot, obsess about the jokes.

Comedy scares me a lot. I feel like it's way harder than drama. I think my safety net is definitely drama, and I would love to kind of be able to be able to push into the comedy world and do something kind of like a Christopher Guest kind of style show. That, to me, is my kind of comedy. Like, Ricky Gervais comedy. That's my kind of thing.

My mates will tell me they saw me in the newspaper linked to this club and that club, but to be honest it goes in one ear and out the other.

I would like to do a romantic comedy, but not a romantic comedy that is cheesy. I want to do an old romantic comedy like 'Roman Holiday' or 'My Fair Lady.'

I never imagined that I would be at a club like Inter, with so much history and success and also as the captain. I can't see myself as a coach, but maybe as a director to give back to the club.

Growing up as a kid, I played for Wallsend Boys Club, a famous boys club. I had such a good childhood and upbringing there.

I read somewhere that when I go on stage, people realize that they're not me and they feel better. When I walk off the stage, people know who I really am. I'm not saying it's great comedy, cool comedy or better comedy - but that's what I do, and I do it first for myself.

Ally McCoist, Kenny McDowall, Ian Durrant, Jim Stewart - all fantastic people. It is still a brilliant club for me, although technically it is now a new club

It's important to get a good start at a top club like Real. When things are going badly, you can overcome it quickly at a top club.

…She was, obviously, one of those women whose polished words may reflect a book club or bridge club, or any other deadly conventionality, but never her soul.

When I first started doing my comedy act, I just desperately needed material. So I took literally everything I knew how to do on stage with me, which was juggling, magic and banjo and my little comedy routines. I always felt the audience sorta tolerated the serious musical parts while I was doing my comedy.

Everton fans don't just come to watch the football. They are there for Everton, the club. They really believe in the history of the club.

Comedy is an intellectual affair, and deals chiefly with logic. Tragedy is an emotional affair, and deals chiefly with value. Horace Walpole once said that "life is a comedy to the man who thinks and a tragedy to the man who feels." Comedy is negative; it is a criticism of limitations and an unwillingness to accept them. Tragedy is positive; it is an uncritical acceptance of the positive content of that which is delimited. Since comedy deals with the limitations of actual situations and tragedy with their positive content, comedy must ridicule and tragedy must endorse.

From the first moment you accept to join a club, the best thing you can do and the most respectful thing to do is ask yourself: 'What is the history behind this club?'

When you're at a football club, the heart and soul of it is bigger than a win or a loss, so I'd like to think I leave the football club in a good place.

There wasn't much for me to do after school except the drama club, so when I kind of started doing drama club, it seemed to be something I could do.

I love the idea of doing comedy, whether it's action comedy or just straight comedy. It's such a big, new world for me that I'm starting to realize that any character that I relate to, in any way, shape or form, or that I have any appreciation for, given enough preparation, I can find that person.

I ordered a club sandwich, but I'm not even a member. "I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread." "Well, so do I!" "Then let's form a club." "OK, but we need some more stipulations. Instead of cutting the sandwich once, let's cut it again. Yes, four triangles, arranged in a circle, and in the middle we will dump chips." "How do you feel about frilly toothpicks?" "I'm for 'em!" "Well, this club is formed."

Copenhagen is my local club where I live in Denmark and is the club I've been to watch more than anybody else. But that's literally because the stadium is two minutes from my house.

The only time I don't get nervous is if I'm doing a home club in L.A. and I know all of my friends there because then I play to my friends. When I first started doing comedy, I hated it when my friends came; it made me more nervous. Now I just try to make them laugh.

I was offered the opportunity at the Mariners to pass on my experiences and wisdom in order to develop the football club back into the football club that it once was.

Manchester United are not just some club. To be part of this club also means to be part of a great history.

Comedy scares me a lot. I feel like it's way harder than drama. I think my safety net is definitely drama and I would love to kind of be able to be able to push into the comedy world and do something kind of like a Christopher Guest kind of style show. That, to me, is my kind of comedy. Like, Ricky Gervais comedy. That's my kind of thing.

But I was club captain at Leeds, club captain at Fulham. If you've got a bad attitude you're not getting those honours.

I think comedy is a bit more international than people credit. I happily watch lots of American shows and American comedy films. If I did a list of the top 10 comedy films in Britain, there's no sense that it would probably be different than yours.

I don't like comedy. I like funny things. I don't like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, 'Oh Jesus.'

If a club like Barcelona can do it, then why can't other clubs? It's amazing that we can be here alongside the men and the way everyone is integrated in the club. People aren't just walking past you going, 'Who's that?'

I would rather be of clear mind and decision with the wrong club than with an unclear mind and the right club.

People always ask, 'Man, why don't you come out and enjoy it? Why don't you celebrate? Why don't you have any fun?' My fun is Sundays. Anybody can go to the club. You don't have to be good at going to the club to go to the club. You have to be good to be playing on Sundays, and to me, that's what's cool.

I have always felt comedy and tragedy are roommates. If you look up comedy and tragedy, you will find a very old picture of two masks. One mask is tragedy. It looks like it's crying. The other mask is comedy. It looks like it's laughing. Nowadays, we would say, 'How tasteless and insensitive. A comedy mask is laughing at a tragedy mask.'

A lot of people think that comedy is sort of a cop out to not wrestling seriously, but I actually would argue that comedy is much more difficult than wrestling seriously because you have to be creative in almost everything that you do if you want the comedy to make sense within the realms of pro wrestling.

I love doing comedy. I find comedy quite hard work. Comedy's underrated, I think, by actors, you know? It's difficult to get it right and get it funny. I really enjoy doing it. I kind of wish I'd done it more. I can't complain. I've had a fair crack of the whip.

Playing in international club competitions and winning international trophies for my club was a truly special experience for me.