Top 1200 Comedy Clubs Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

The big Premier League clubs will only call me if I win a title in Germany.

I don't go out to clubs. You'll never see me on a table at a bar, jumping up and down.

At the top level you know most things about the best clubs, there aren't too many surprises.

I did 'Formula 51' because I got to run around Liverpool in a kilt, with golf clubs.

Only the very best clubs are able to pass the baton of continuity down through the generations.

Big clubs with one rich owner have been one of the main changes in football since I started playing.

I have travelled and I have played for some amazing clubs along the way. In Italy and at Sion, I enjoyed my time.

The only thing Chelsea and Manchester City have in common is the fact that both clubs have a lot of money.

I really love 'Real Housewives.' It's like the, you know, comedy stuff that's, like, intentionally funny. Like, I love 'Nathan for You,' that Comedy Central show. It's just brilliant. My friend Bill Eichner has a show called 'Billy on the Street' that I write for, and even if I didn't write for it, I'd still love it.

I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A comedy club is a place where you work out material; you're trying material.

We got £25 a week in the early Sixties when we were first with Brian Epstein, when we played the clubs.

I never aimed for the radio, you know? I'm a DJ - I want my records to be played by all the other DJs in the clubs.

When I was studying comedy in Chicago, it wasn't long after 9/11. There were a lot Middle Eastern comedians who were doing bits about hailing cabs and being terrorists. So the first two years, I didn't do any of that because I wanted to separate myself from those guys. But race is a big part of who I am, and it should be a big part of my comedy.

It's been the same since caveman days, this game of love - they just changed the trumps from clubs to diamonds.

One thing that bugs me in comedy is when somebody does a fake cry, you know, like they fake cry in a comedy. But in a drama they'll really cry. That bugs me.

Man City is one of the best clubs in the world. I knew that something big was happening here. I wanted to be a part of it.

I have always been down to test what I can do and push the limits of my acting. I have always wanted to try new genres and stuff - but I love comedy. I grew up on comedy, and I love having a good time and making people laugh. But it is also really nice to switch it around and make people think and feel some darker emotions.

Some people learn comedy, and some people just are comedy.

The darkness of clubs makes me feel much more secure, and you can hide behind smoke and lights.

If I was president of the good old U.S.A., I'd turn the churches into strip clubs and watch the whole world pray.

Most of the clubs who have had success against Barcelona have relied on a highly organised and disciplined defence.

Some of my songs are turnt up, but that's just 'cause I have to make 'em like that so the clubs can play them.

The big gay clubs like Heaven started having mixed nights in the late '80s.

When you go to clubs in London there are loads of good-looking blokes, and I feel like a bit of a minger

I never did anything for free. Other than dancing in clubs. I give that away for nothing.

I like dancing but not in crowded clubs. I would rather dance alone than go to a club.

Any great club needs the mentality to go on and achieve things - it is what clubs like United have.

As a young comedian playing the working men's clubs in the 70s, I'd been in awe of Dustin Gee.

Don't get me wrong: it's unbelievable getting linked with big clubs. That's where you want to go; of course it is.

Hockey is a fast, body-contact game played by men with clubs in their hands and knives laced to their feet.

To be realistic, the big Dutch clubs cannot afford me. That's not because of my wages; it's the transfer fee.

I've been trying not to think too much about the rumours of clubs being linked with me.

I knew I just loved comedy, and I think it was my parents who initially brought up the notion of me trying to do stand-up. I think I actually tried writing jokes just at home, just kind of sitting around. But it seemed like a very real way to step into the world of comedy. I felt I could do it, so why not?

I don't want to look out and perform in front of people who are drunk. I did that when I was playing little clubs.

It's one of the best leagues in Europe in football. Benfica in my opinion is one of the top 10 biggest clubs in the world.

I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.

When I was growing up, I would go hang out with older guys at night in blues clubs.

Today, the biggest clubs in the world, they buy the players they need for whatever way they think they have to play.

I love a good comedy, but the slapstick sitcom belly-laugh sort of comedy - the multicam thing - is not really where my interests lie. I'm very interested in single-cam, in intimate portraits. I like it when comedies have a little bit of realism and a little bit of darkness to them. It makes them more palatable and more relatable and grounded.

If Milan agrees to let me go, and if there's an agreement between the clubs, I would love to play for Madrid.

I started working at clubs when I was sixteen, which is young. I would not want my kid doing that, but I did, and that's how it went.

I have been lucky enough to be at great clubs, from my hometown club to Liverpool to Real Madrid to Bayern Munich.

On Platini's presidential watch... he has to balance all the leagues, all the dreams and needs of hundreds of clubs across his continent.

Other clubs never came into my thoughts once I knew Arsenal wanted to sign me.

When you get to Spurs you know the difference between the lesser clubs and the big boys. It's a different experience.

I love looking out at a sea of people. It's mind-blowing. But I also like playing clubs.

I don't like to go out to clubs, because I find myself seeing remnants of drugs in the bathroom.

Comedy is so subjective. If you trip and fall down, some people will laugh, and some people will say, 'Oh, physical comedy is so pedestrian.' Some people look at Three Stooges as lowbrow; some people consider them artists. No one is wrong. It's just a personal take.

Van Basten went directly to the national team without coaching any other clubs. It's not the norm in Italy.

Football clubs can be quite homophobic, both in the dressing room and in the stands. I want to show I'm an ally.

I belong to quite a lot of learned societies. We collect firearms and discuss them at dinners and clubs and things.

People like Bill Murray are incredible at what they do and are definitely my flavour. Although Will Ferrell, Sacha Baron Cohen and Ricky Gervais are also incredible actors. In their comedy, they make these stupid people feel so real. These guys are really setting the bar very high, and I learn as much from them about acting as I do about comedy.

Bobby Troup and I have been working together for about a year in clubs. We work in the same club.

Any of the the 30 ball clubs have a chance at success, and the fans know that. It keeps everything exciting.

Having been at big clubs, when you sometimes don't produce, then don't expect the fans to understand. They will boo.

You bet I arrived overnight. Over a few hundred nights in the Catskills, in vaudeville, in clubs and on Broadway.

It's been a privilege for me, really, to play for one of the biggest clubs in the world, an iconic club, an institution.

Football doesn't bother me. I just enjoy it. It's when you have to go to clubs and sing and do initiations and all that stuff. That's when I get nervous.

If English clubs are not giving you a chance then going abroad is always an option. That's what the Bundesliga is about.

There's so many variables in comedy. Comedy is not this thing that's a performance like a play. It's really an interaction with every single person in the room. And if there's a weirdness in the room for any people, be it something the comedians did at the top of the set or be it the mixture of the people isn't right, something can go awry. So it's really great to see you proven wrong about someone.