Top 1200 Dirty Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 18

... censorship often boils down to some male judges getting to read a lot of dirty books--with one hand.

You can say the dirty words now, but there is no content - political satire is limited to small podiums and little soap boxes.

Staring at the blank page before you, Open up the dirty window, Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find.

For years I didn't really fancy America. I hated it when I first went to LA, it's like a dirty Sydney. But having a job helped.

The AAP tried to lure the voters by giving them freebies, but they only gave free water that was dirty and unfit.

My dad always jokes that if I ever write an autobiography, which I'm not going to, it'll be called 'It's Tough in the Middle.'

Nobody likes to fail but failure is an essential part of life and of learning. If your uniform isn't dirty, you haven't been in the game.

In Hollywood, I was used to being on a dirty old sound stage, and the whole crew is just scratching themselves. They don't care who you are.

Our wisest long-term investment is not in the dirty polluting fossil fuels from the past, but in the clean energy of the future.

Unlike some of our neighbours, India does not believe in dirty bombs. We take non-proliferation very seriously.

The thing I don't get about paedophilia... Why the hell do kids find old men in dirty raincoats so sexy?

Gaga the person is much like Gaga the celebrity. She is very sweet, loyal, and funny with her fans, and she is very sweet, loyal, and funny with her friends. On stage, she is over-the-top, ridiculous, dirty, and genuine on stage, and she is very over-the-top, ridiculous, dirty, and genuine with her friends.

Patriotism, when it wants to make itself felt in the domain of learning, is a dirty fellow who should be thrown out of doors.

It's pretty easy to hear what people are physically responding to versus what's just flat as a pancake in the room when it comes to jokes.

I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.

Black Bolt is typically a stoic leader, part of a larger cast of Inhumans who get their hands dirty in ways that he doesn't.

Why would you stick someone you love down in a lonely hole in the dirt? Where it's cold, and dirty, and full of bugs?

The rain wasn't the usual glittering silver, but dark and dirty, as if nature were a scrubwoman wringing out a filthy mop.

Jokes that are gratuitously offensive are synonymous with bad writing to me. I'm offended as a writer first and as a person second.

If you do talk dirty, make sure that you enunciate because there's nothing more embarrassing than having to repeat yourself.

Gossip is a sort of smoke that comes from the dirty tobacco-pipes of those who diffuse it: it proves nothing but the bad taste of the smoker.

Shall I crack any of those old jokes, master, At which the audience never fail to laugh?

In a live show, the reaction to our jokes is instant. You know immediately whether the joke is working or not.

Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them.

When I write 'Beetle Bailey,' I can always do jokes about him being lazy, and everyone gets it.

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

Getting the first draft finished is like pushing a peanut with your nose across a very dirty floor.

You are all dirty and grungy. You go step in the shower and you come out clean. When you enter into the white light, it does something to you.

You can change the world with a hot bath, if you sink into it from a place of knowing that you are worth profound care, even when you're dirty and rattled.

I actually write some pretty tough jokes. I don't want to push the "soft" angle too much.

The secret to a good marriage, as far as I am concerned, is a joke I make: Keep the fights clean and the sex dirty.

My hair is naturally blond and thin, so I like to give it some texture. Sexy, dirty bedhead is good for blonds.

If you purposefully look to shock people, it isn't funny. That's what 50 million dollar Hollywood comedies do ; try to be shocking and dirty.

The dirty little secret of both clinical psychology and biological psychiatry is that they have completely given up on the notion of cure.

Frankly, the only thing China has in easy abundance is people and dirty coal. Neither is the asset they're made out to be.

[The people that worked on The Simpsons] just had good taste. They knew how to execute absurd jokes.

Christian spirituality was not a children's story. It wasn't cute or neat. It was mystical and odd and clean, and it was reaching into dirty. There was wonder in it and enchantment.

The Church needs more people willing to wash feet, not just point out they're dirty or complain that they smell.

Of course my jokes are in poor taste, inappropriate, and confused; they reveal my lack of security. But that is because I have no respect for myself.

Horseback riding is my passion. Other than work. People can't imagine me getting dirty, but that's what I love about it.

Billy (Martin) was a great one for jokes. He liked to play a joke more than anyone I ever knew.

I don't do too many jokes about current affairs, because almost every comedian always does that.

My hair was long with a fringe, and people would make jokes, calling me Britney and Lady Gaga.

I am a bit of a Cheap Pete, but I do spend a fortune on books and false moustaches and practical jokes.

Even if its a white crowd, I tell my jokes for the four black people in the room, not the 100 whites.

There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere.

'Dirty Jobs' is a fun, simple little show with huge themes under it. For me, it's penance, it's redemption, it's a sweaty mess.

Kaffirs are as a rule uncivilized - the convicts even more so. They are troublesome, very dirty and live almost like animals.

Given a little time for the pain to subside, dreadful experiences often can be the basis of funny jokes or stories.

Pigs are dirty, but I will tell you something dirtier: Liars! Untruth always smells like rotten garbage!

Jokes do finish themselves. I really do see them as ongoing conversations about personal themes that I ruminate on.

From the first time I saw them, I knew they weren't just five dirty little boys from Liverpool without an education.

The last time I played rugby, I busted my nose bad, and that's incentive not to get down and dirty in the park anymore.

I'm a huge Dirty Dancing fan. I feel like I should be reading [William] Shakespeare, but I'm watching Baby not be in a corner.

It is by vivacity and wit that man shines in company; but trite jokes and loud laughter reduce him to a buffoon.

If you look at vaudeville in theaters vamping between acts, it was always jokes written and banter in the moment.

I had a kind of meandering little career, and then I was given a chance to play one of the bottom six in The Dirty Dozen.

I might do cartoonish sexual jokes, but it's my way of saying what's going on in the world. How people are animals, really.

Black Bolt is typically a stoic leader, part of a larger cast of Inhumans who get their hands dirty in ways that he doesn’t.

I don't perceive my role as a newsman at all. I'm a comedian from stem to stern. You can cut me open and count the rings of jokes.