Top 1200 Dirty Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 19
Explore popular Dirty Jokes quotes.
Last updated on November 19, 2024.
On the track, you`re Tommie Smith, the fastest man in the world, but once you`re in the dressing rooms, you are nothing more than a dirty Negro.
I did my first set at a talent show, and I couldn't finish because the judges didn't like my jokes. They were 'offensive.'
I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.
If you're a comedian, you can only really write jokes for about an hour a day, so you've got a lot of time to fill.
I used to take someone with me for the chemotherapy so I could do jokes. You always try and find something absurd.
I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.
Having been challenged by Colonel Pickering, Higgins: You know, it's almost irresistible. She's so deliciously low. So horribly dirty.
The element of surprise - where you think you know where a joke is going, and then you're wrong. Those are my favorite kind of jokes.
There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.
You emptied the top rack of the dishwasher but not the bottom, so the clean dishes have gotten all mixed up with the dirty ones - and now you want to have sex?
True charity requires courage: Let us overcome the fear of getting our hands dirty so as to help those in need.
I'm always playing jokes, even on the manager - some, not many. I want to try and keep my place in the squad.
A wise beautiful lake never desires to be famous, because fame dirty it! To remain pure, distance yourself from the reputation!
I loved killing zombies in 'Day of the Dead.' I basically welcome anything that involves being dirty or bloody or shooting guns.
Forget 'redeeming social value,' dirty pictures are fun. When I die I want my ashes sprinkled over a nudist camp.
Several of my uncles are comedians. My father is a comedian; my grandfather was known for his jokes. It definitely runs in the family.
I'm not trying to be dirty. I'm out there to play basketball and not fight. But if it comes to the situation, one thing, know this, I'm never going to back down from anybody.
Few people today muck around in earth, and when on international flights, I often find I have the only decently dirty fingernails.
Hollywood is a dirty temptress that has stolen my wallet way too many times. It's a great town, but at the same time, it's a hustle.
When I see people laughing at my jokes, I feel so special. It is much more important than the fame I have achieved.
I don't mind a dirty girl. But what I find tragic is when we, as women, become not the subject of our own story but someone else's object.
When I make a film, the yardstick is my mind. If I laugh at the jokes and feel sad at the serious undersides, then the subject works.
People write a lot of similar material. That's why I try to come up with the most absurd jokes.
I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.
People have lost their sense of humor. In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races.
To deliver something deadpan is very difficult; I don't think people know how hard those jokes are.
Basic training is horrible. It's dirty, and it's ugly. But you learn it's not just about you. It makes you part of a team, which helps you to survive.
I think I have got a very good sense of humour; other people don't, but I do. I also laugh at my own jokes.
I like situational comedy when people are being completely serious and yet you can find something extremely funny, not jokes.
I dare say the men would fight very well if properly officered, although they are an exceedingly dirty and nasty people.
Each week, we might write 500 jokes for 'Weekend Update,' and ultimately, we can only do about 10.
I learned to think about religion, race and sex through the complex and often unattractive medium of jokes.
The dead don't desire revenge, but the happiness of the livng. To dirty your small hands would bring joy to no one. -Kenshin to Eiji
Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline.
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.
I do most of my business on that dirty Internet that you were just talking about, where I find there is a lot of freedom to report exactly what I want.
Every time I step onto the field, whether people like it or not, I'm not trying to play dirty - I'm just playing tough.
Me and Future, we did 'Dirty Sprite,' 'Ain't No Way Around It,' 'Turn on the Lights.' Every time we record, we're setting bars.
Imagine you're a girl,
just trying to finally come clean,
knowing full well they'd prefer you
were dirty and smiling.
What’s in that backpack, by the way? You’re always guarding it like it holds national security secrets or something. (Tory) Dirty underwear. (Acheron)
As a dancer when you go to the club, you wanna look nice, but at the same time, you gotta get a lil' dirty, nah mean?
The people may not be like that, but I think the media had a very dirty role in spoiling relations between us and India.
A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary wish that things were otherwise.
Any time you can build jokes around a story that resonates on an emotional level, it is going to have a big impact.
The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.
Grace Slick was a total trip to work with. Lots of jokes and opinions. A strident individual and super talented!
I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
A pure drop of rain may fall on a beautiful water lily or on a dirty mud pond! This is exactly what happens when we are born!
There's blood, a taste I remember. It tastes of orange popsicles, penny gumballs, red licorice, gnawed hair, dirty ice.
I'm more one of those people you laugh at and not with. I'm not the one with the jokes, I'm the one who falls on her face going up a flight of steps.
I like dirty boys. Mechanics, construction workers, artists who get paint and clay everywhere. They gotta have rough hands.
Family vacations are the kind of enterprises you embark upon with hope and optimism, and return with a lot of dirty laundry and suffering extreme exhaustion.
I worry about kids today - because of the sexual revolution, they're going to grow up and never know what "dirty" means.
When Americans, who have no idea who I am, laugh at my jokes, it's exactly the same if someone loves you even if you're not rich and famous.
Theres a lot of churches that hide their dirty laundry under the rug, and I know about that from being in the church 27 years. Oh, yeah.
On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it light.
I hate those movies where hundreds of people get blown up and there are jokes afterward. They poison the soul.
What makes you think I'm giving you a ride?” “Because I'm a damsel in distress,” she said. “And you are a knight in whatever. A really dirty car.
How can one better magnify the Almighty than by sniggering with him at his little jokes, particularly the poorer ones?
Some jobs are so dirty you can only send in someone who has the finely honed hatred of liberals acquired at elite universities to do them.
