Top 1200 Dirty Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 20
Explore popular Dirty Jokes quotes.
Last updated on November 19, 2024.
If you want to call me names, make jokes and doubt my intentions, go ahead, because the reality is I can take it.
Real life is hard. I'm sorry, but shopping at Tesco is not as much fun as writing jokes for TV shows, and I struggle with it.
I like grown-up comedy, where it's about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes.
Levity is the lubricant of a crisis. We resort to jokes, pranks and good natured kidding to relieve tension, stress and boredom.
When I was a kid, we got in a cipher and battled each other lyrically. We told jokes and made the hottest dance moves.
People make a lot of jokes about the empty nest. Let me tell you, it is no laughing matter. It is really hard.
The government, the state, they're just objects of jokes rather than serious consideration. I can't possibly take them seriously.
I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
If you put in the dirty work, if you do what you're asked on every single play whether it's pass or run, the rest for us takes care of itself.
I like doing things where I can get dirty, work with my hands, and use power tools. Last weekend, I did some grouting.
Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these jokes just write themselves.
I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way. The comedy comes through the character.
In Rio de Janeiro, every cop has to make a choice. He either turns dirty, keeps his mouth shut, or goes to war.
If there's nothing for me to do as an actress, then that's frustrating. I'd rather go work at a menial labour job, where I can actually get my hands dirty.
I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.
What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.
Civility, politeness, it's like a cement in a society: binds it together. And when we lose it, then I think we all feel lesser and slightly dirty because of it.
Now I can tell you something dirty.
I like men who have a foot fetish.
I absolutely think it's the most charming thing.
It's just so romantic.
What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.
The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.
Learn young about hard work and manners - and you'll be through the whole dirty mess and nicely dead again before you know it.
If a comic laughs at their own jokes, I don't like it. They shouldn't find it funny; they should seriously believe in this stupid thing they're saying.
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'.
I better start doing stand up comedy in Spanish before every comedian in Mexico translates my jokes.
Question Time' is a nice forum for reasoned political debate. There's no point having me on there trying to crack jokes.
As an actor, it's always fun when you're able to feel like there's freedom to explore things and try out jokes and be funny.
When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.
I don't suppose God laughs at the people who think He doesn't exist. He's above jokes. But the devil isn't. That's one of his most endearing qualities.
Although I have made my career on dirty raps, I have worked over the years to somewhat balance the content of my music with giving back to the community.
I know that drummers tend to be the butt of a thousand jokes, usually from the uninformed and untalented, but I always felt I had an important role.
Larry David finds a way to make jokes about the Holocaust. It would never have occurred to me. And it was funny.
I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.
In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America.
You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.
A truly beautiful woman is always good and the other women, and to people in general. She rejects rivalry, intrigue and dirty tricks.
All of my jokes were about not being able to meet anybody. I didn't have any insight into anything - even my own insecurities.
We actually talked about Adam Sandler during the creation of 'Trolls,' because he does know how to time jokes.
I acted with Albie at Stratford-on-Avon in the 1959 season. We in the acting company tended to hang out at the pub known as the Dirty Duck.
Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.
I go outside, and I'm wearing a funky T-shirt and my hair is dirty, and people say, 'What's wrong with her? She needs to invest in a hairbrush.'
How anybody dresses is indicative of his self-concept. If students are dirty and ragged, it indicates they are not interested in tidying up their intellects either.
I like golden-era hip-hop because they were recording on a 2-inch tape. There was dirty, raw sampling. It's nasty. It has a vibe to it.
I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people.
There are passages of the Bible that are soiled forever by the touches of the hands of ministers who delight in the cheap jokes they have left behind them.
When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.
I wouldn't have the slightest interest in running for public office. I'd rather make jokes about politicians than become one of them.
The Tories are trying to lock the country into the old, dirty technologies that harm our communities and the people who are forced to live with disruption on their doorstep.
The thing that makes 'Dirty Jobs' different is that it's one of the few shows that portrays work in a way that doesn't highlight the drudgery. Instead, it highlights the humor.
I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that's OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
The darn trouble with cleaning the house is it gets dirty the next day anyway, so skip a week if you have to. The children are the most important thing.
I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.
The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.
I try not to rely on pop culture references as a crutch for jokes, because then, I think, that's when the timelessness quality is lost.
I have a dirty little habit of distilling every city I've ever visited into the historical person I'd have most wanted to meet and share a cigarette with.
If you're going to document your own journey, the jokes work better in the first person, just like the stories do.
If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand my jokes.
Wars often begin with enthusiastic vigor but typically settle into costly, dirty business characterized for soldiers by fear, frustration, and loneliness.
I'd been writing jokes since I was 16, not very good ones though, but I was always trying to make my mates laugh.
A painting, you know, it's all dirty material. But it's about transformation. Taking that earth, that heavy earthen kind of thing, turning it into air and light.
