Top 1200 Drinking Funny Quotes & Sayings

I stopped drinking a few years ago, and drinking was a big help with me making music, because drinking gives you courage. But it also makes you reckless, and that's the trouble. You can get away with that your 20s, but not in your 60s, and I'll be 70 next year. Life is a small space now, much more intimate. I'm not out there in the world anymore, but I'm watching.

That wine drinking is more effete than beer drinking? No question.

I do sing about drinking, but it's in a party way. I don't sing about drinking in a drowning-my-sorrows way, like in George Jones's "If Drinking Don't Kill Me (Her Memory Will)."

Am I drinking today? Well, put it this way, I'm not not drinking.

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

I hate the taste of alcohol. When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Well, I stopped drinking. That was actually a big deal. I didn't go through any harrowing rock-bottom experience. I just made a decision to stop drinking.

Nowhere in this country should we have laws that permit drinking and driving or drinking in vehicles that are on American highways. This is not rocket science. We know how to prevent this, and 36 states do.

Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?" "Funny haha or funny strange?" James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'" "Ah. Funny strange" James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking.

Drinking Garri doesnt mean you're poor, but allowing the garri to swell-up before drinking is Poverty

I started drinking red wine after I stopped drinking sake and whiskey, because it's better for your heart - it's about the only thing I drink now.

It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.

It's funny, I do try to maintain health. I started doing Bikram yoga which is that hothouse yoga, the 105 degrees yoga for 90 minutes. It's great, you purge out all the sweat and you're drinking water.

One second here and there will make all the difference between something being funny and not being funny. That's why I like going, 'Well, we wrote that six months ago, and it was funny one time we read it, but it's not funny anymore. So what? Just dump it.'

In the U.S., people are habitual about drinking coffee in the morning. In China, many are drinking coffee in the afternoon.

Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

I'm a very funny man, so funny comes natural. And if you want to create horror, you need to be funny or campy.

Drinking and driving is safer than either drinking or driving - and no one has ever died drinking, driving and juggling.

I have a reputation for drinking a lot. Indeed, I drink quite much. However, I give it up when I wish to do so. I never, ever drink while on duty. The drinking is only for my pleasure. I do not remember neglecting my duties because of drinking even once.

We try to be present when we are drinking our tea, which isn't as easy as it sounds. It's very easy to think, right now I'm going to be really present while I'm drinking my tea, here I am drinking my tea, and I'm so present, look this is easy, I am here drinking my tea and I know I'm drinking my tea blah blah blah blah... right? And the one place where the mind is not, is here. It's just thinking about being here.

There is drinking in lots of the songs because there is drinking in life. Drinking stimulates the imagination.

I've been watching what I eat. When I was putting on all the weight, I was drinking Guinness and not eating. I didn't have room to because I was drinking all the time.

Kids have no idea when they're drinking soda what they're really drinking, and a lot of them are stunned when they learn that drinking a Big Gulp is like taking a big jar of sugar and just pouring it down. There are 50 teaspoons of sugar in a 64-ounce Big Gulp.

It's funny, because when you tell people you've stopped drinking, there's an automatic reaction. People ask, 'Was it a lifestyle choice or were you waking up in a skip?'

Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny.

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

I wasn't drinking to get drunk. It's social drinking, so what's the point? It's empty calories, you're poisoning yourself.

If a man rejoice not in his drinking, he is mad; for in drinking it's possible ... to fondle breasts, and to caress well tended locks, and there is dancing withal, and oblivion of woe.

Sensible people advise against drinking on an empty stomach, but to my mind it is the best sort of drinking.

I quit drinking, so I can think clear. When you have chop trouble, drinking doesn't help the healing process.

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.

I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

Drinking was a big help with me making music, because drinking gives you courage. But it also makes you reckless, and that's the trouble.

People close to me wouldn't have thought that I had a drinking problem because it wasn't evident although towards the very end of my drinking perhaps it became a little bit more of an issue.

Simon Gray, I decided when I first witnessed this frog into prince transformation, did not have a drinking problem. He had a drinking solution.

When you sit in a café, with a lot of music in the background and a lot of projects in your head, you're not really drinking your coffee or your tea. You're drinking your projects, you're drinking your worries. You are not real, and the coffee is not real either. Your coffee can only reveal itself to you as a reality when you go back to your self and produce your true presence, freeing yourself from the past, the future, and from your worries. When you are real, the tea also becomes real and the encounter between you and the tea is real. This is genuine tea drinking.

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

I basically gave up drinking. Personally, I thought I was drinking too much and, over the long run, it caught up with me.

If you don't need to quit drinking, you shouldn't quit drinking. I used to really love to drink, and especially living in London, it's just built for drinking.

nobody ever stops drinking until the cost of drinking becomes higher than the cost of not drinking.

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

I think we should stop drinking bottled water. There's no need to be drinking it if you're living in western communities.

I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty.

I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wow. I mean, just for now. Somebody's being evicted.

I write songs by sitting around in bars, so drinking songs are a little obvious. It's surprising that I don't write entirely drinking songs, since I am, in fact, drinking while writing the song. Drinking and love are the two principal sources of pleasure outside of music. There's only so many sources of pleasure, really. That's about it. Well, there are other arts as well. But none of them are as pleasurable as music, on a physical level.

I sit there and think how it isn't fair that I can't drink at all, even a little. I realize I have crammed an entire lifetime of moderate drinking into a decade of hard-core drinking and that is why. I blew my wad.

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

There's an obvious romance to being the drinking writer. But if I'm drinking, I'm not writing.

There is a long history in country music of songs celebrating drinking and lamenting drinking. Country songs for the most part have always been heavily rooted in reality. The first artists were the people next door. They would sing on their porch or in their living room or at a barn dance. They sang about what they knew, and a lot of that was drinking.

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny.

You do not need to be an expert, or even particularly interested in wine, in order to enjoy drinking it. But tasting is not the same as drinking. Drinking pleases, mellows, loosens the tongue and inhibitions; drinking wine with food is healthy and natural; drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life's most civilized pleasures.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things.

When I was 20, I was drinking. When I was 30, I was drinking more, and at 40, way too much.

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.