Top 1200 Ex-Wife Quotes & Sayings - Page 19

I think the hardest part about Golf is being committed to your wife

My wife is great. She always goes to the bank to see if the check has cleared.

My life is ruled by four W's: my writing, my work, my wife, and my whisky. Not necessarily in that order.

Kids and family life are only as good as your wife, and she's amazing.

My former wife made me a millionaire. I used to have three million dollars.

My wife is pretty geeky and will occasionally quote 'Anchorman' at me.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I wanted to have a peaceful married life with my wife, so we both moved to Sydney in Australia.

My wife is gorgeous and brilliant, and my son True is my best little buddy in the world.

The understanding smile of an old wife to her husband is one of the loveliest things in the world.

I think my wife would take objection to any characterization of me as perfect.

Now let's move on to the subject of how a real man treats his wife. A real man doesn't slap even a ten-dollar hooker around, if he's got any self-respect, much less hurt his own woman. Much less ten times over the mother of his kids. A real man busts his ass to feed his family, fights for them if he has to, dies for them if he has to. And he treats his wife with respect every day of his life, treats her like a queen - the queen of the home she makes for their children.

I lived on rum, I tell you. It's been meat and drink, and man and wife, to me.

My wife and I believe that there's nothing we do together as a community that's more important than education.

My wife is a size zero and eats more than I do, and I'm a 6'4", 225 lb. man!

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

Sitting around the house playing the wife and mother is driving me crazy.

What a generous thing that is, I realize, for a husband to try to make his wife laugh.

My wife is a midwife, and there's only so many states where you can do that. Texas is a place where she can work.

I am devastated by the loss of my beautiful wife Jane. She was my best friend.

I should have realized that what's good for movie stars doesn't work for a Cabinet secretary's wife.

What kind of wife would I be if I left your father simply because he was dead?

If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were lov'd by wife, then thee; If ever wife was happy in a man, Compare with me, ye women, if you can I prize thy love more than whole mines of Gold. Or all the riches that the East doth hold. My love is such that rivers cannot quench, Nor ought but love from thee, give recompense. Thy love is such I can no way repay, The heavens reward thee manifold repay, Then while we live, in love let's so persevere That when we live no more, we may live ever.

When a man takes a mistress, he doesn't turn around and divorce his wife.

Men with shaved heads are always better. Just ask my wife.

Behind every successful enterprise, there is a supporting wife and surprised in-laws.

My wife, Katey Sagal, has transformed herself from a sitcom cartoon to a dramatic powerhouse.

My wife, Edith, and I both have good health - and she's been very tolerant.

I know it's the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I'm no gentleman.

The fact was I loved my wife to a degree that I found impossible to express, and so rarely did.

Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg.

I thought my wife and I would grow old together, but it just didn't work out.

Every man, they say, 'oh my wife is my boss.' So why can't they be bosses at work?

I called my son Jett and I wanted to call my daughter Qantas, but my wife wouldn't let me.

Happy is that family where both the husband and wife are mutual members of Christ's body

My wife is a beautician, but the first time I did something to my hair was not through her.

I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

Never argue with your wife about hostility when she's a certified Freudian.

You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

I am in for making films only because my wife has been part of this industry.

I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to sacrifice my wife's brother.

Everyone knows me and my wife's story. We didn't have sex until we got married.

I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.

I constantly catch myself saying, 'My fiancee, Linda. Wait no - wife.'

I am so glad my wife tolerates me. And we have three wonderful sons.

Being bilingual is like having a wife and a mistress. One can never be sure of either.

I'm more apt to shed a tear than my wife about family matters.

I've got kids, goats. My wife always wanted a donkey, so I bought her one.

I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.

My wife and kids maybe beg to differ, but I am generally a good guy.

If my wife was to say, 'Honey, I'd like you to go to PSG', I would have to take it into account.

When husband and wife are united, they are strongest and most attractive to those that don't know Jesus.

I am like a friend to my kids. My wife, Sangeeta, handles their studies, etc.

I've never heard of the wife looking up the mistress to become friends, but I like it.

My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats.

I never owned a pair of blue jeans until I met my second wife.

I told my doctor I think my wife has VD. He gave himself a shot of penicillin.

When I'm in Los Angeles, my wife and I go to the farmers' market with the kids every Sunday.

Three things are men most likely to be cheated in, a horse, a wig, and a wife.