Top 1200 Female Comedian Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

There are six million female lives lost in the world every year simply because they are female.

When you see a comedian on stage, the best comedians make it feel like a conversation. But it's not. We have very little interest in what an audience has to say during a performance. Being a stand-up comedian, you're an egomaniac to some degree. Everyone wants to hear what you have to say, apparently. That's not how real relationships work.

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.

There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. As well speak of a female liver.

I paid attention to not being a comedian, and just concentrated on being who I was. That is what you have to do. If you say you are a comedian that has been done before. If you just be who you are then you are unique. Everyone is unique.

In ancient times, people weren't just male or female, but one of three types: male/male, male/female, female/female. In other words, each person was made out of the components of two people. Everyone was happy with this arrangement and never really gave it much a thought. But then God took a knife and cut everybody in half, right down the middle. So after that the world was divided just into male and female, the upshot being that people spend their time running around trying to locate their missing other half.

Are we asking terribly much of people to be curious and interested in the female experience from the female perspective?

Where those two energies [male and female energies] intersect, all creativity is possible. We already have divine creative energy within us. And what is the most powerful of these energies? The energy that patriarchy and misogyny constantly try to repress. The divine female sexual energy. The creative energy of the female. That is why I worship divine sexual female energy.

I think we see too much female-on-female hating each other on TV. We should stick together.

When you've played Buffy - who's such a strong female role model - it's really hard for another female character to compare to her.

From a really young age, I was into female empowerment and supporting the underdog. Right now, I'm into female vengeance.

When you ask people who their favorite comedian is or favorite African-American comedian, people generally say Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Eddie Murphy, or Richard Pryor. Redd Foxx gets left out a lot.

And I think a woman should find it a joy to be female because God made both male and female.

Hysteria is a natural phenomenon, the common denominator of the female nature. It's the female weapon and the test of a man is his ability to cope with it.

A proper wife should be as obedient as a slave... The female is a female by virtue of a certain lack of qualities - a natural defectiveness.

I'm a comedian, and I decided I wanted to be a comedian when I was eight years old watching old Saturday Night Live episodes. I never decided to be a rapper because I'm not a rapper.

Coming up as a female rapper - well, a female artist in general - everything is just so black and white.

There's a weird loneliness that comes with being a comedian, especially standup. Even with improvisers, I think there are certain moments of truth where you feel really, really connected to audiences, and that's when you're on stage. I think there's definitely something inside the personality of a person who wants to be a comedian that's looking to connect at all times. That's where the adrenaline rushes in their lives come from.

I'm always drawn to female stories with female protagonists, and I particularly yearn for more older actresses to take centre stage in 2018.

I think it's a tough transition. It's easy to go from comedian to rapper, but to go from rapper to comedian is tougher.

It never really occurred to me to seek out a female influence, a female musician.

What happens when a female writer invokes a female muse? Does something else happen? With Sappho's figures of desire, we have a different lesbian energy.

I have a lot of female fans, and I feel like in this day and age, as a drag queen who is a female impersonator, I need to show my love and respect to all those female fans out there, especially my young ones who are learning about how to love themselves and love who they are in every way.

I'm more of an older school comedian so Tommy Davidson still makes me laugh a lot no matter how many times I've heard his jokes or not. He's just an animated comedian that I don't mind seeing over and over again.

Obviously, the issue for the Left isn't aging white males; it is conservatives, whether they are young or old, white or nonwhite, male or female. If female aborigines were conservative, the Left would have a problem with female aborigines.

There are three goals for any comedian: to make a living as a comedian; I've been fortunate to do that. To make a name for yourself and to be famous would be great - because it would give me that freedom.

I was born female, but even from a young age I had a hormonal imbalance where I knew I wasn't female.

There's a ton of academic literature that shows people are much more critical of female leaders than they are of male leaders. They're much less tolerant of female ambition, much more threatened by female power.

Whatever happens in life can happen on the stage, but as a comedian you should always be clear what your target is. It's fine to be gratuitously tasteless if that's what you are intending to do. It's that old line: I don't defend what a comedian might say but I defend to the death his right to say it.

My whole theory about why I couldn’t find any creators who realized they were leaving out female characters is because they were raised on the same ratio. I just heard someone the other day call it either ‘smurfing’ a movie, which is when there’s one female character, or ‘minioning’ a movie, which is when there’s no female characters.

I think, that in the twenty-second century, there will be more female reincarnations at female institutions. Then there'll be competition between male lama institutions and female lama institutions. It'll be a positive sort of competition.

It used to be if you wanted to be a comedian, you used to just do sets. You'd go up three times a night, just get better, and then some people would see you and you'd do 'The Tonight Show,' and then boom, you're a comedian.

Now we're here in 2009. My boys are 16 and 18, one's going to USC film school, and the other seems to be a natural comedian. So now I have to go back into show business as a senior comedian. So I hope to get Walter Brennan-type roles, Gabby Hayes kind of stuff, be the old-timer. We'll see what happens.

One of the biggest misconceptions about me is that I'm a comedian, which I'm not. A comedian is someone who can stand up in front of an audience and make you laugh. I've never done stand-up and I never will. I'm a comic actor. My comedy comes through my characters.

Am I the Irish comedian with half a finger? No, I'm the Irish comedian with nine and a half fingers.

I do believe female directors, as well as our female writer, can bring out male vulnerability that some men can't because they can't face it.

My fundamental aim is to drive female talent - it's not just to find the next female Formula One superstar.

As a female, you either have a whole bunch of female friends or none.

There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper.

My pronouns are she, her, and hers. I identify as female, specifically as a transgender female. And my name is Josie Totah.

I don't want there to always be this stigma of the "female" artist. "Oh, what does it feel like to be a female doing something?" That hurts me.

Firstly, I am not a comedian. I have a sense of doing comedy but I am a character artist. If the character in the film is a comedy than I can portray it. But, I am not a comedian.

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

If you get too well-known, you can never be a comedian's comedian, it just won't sit well. But I'm fine with that. I'm fine with that label.

It would be ridiculous to talk of male and female atmospheres, male and female springs or rains, male and female sunshine....How much more ridiculous is it in relation to mind, to soul, to thought, where there is as undeniably no such thing as sex.

When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can you write us a script? That's not fair. That's like if I worked hard to become a cook, and I'm a really good cook, they'd say, "OK, you're a cook. Can you farm?"

Training of female athletes is so new that the limits of female possibility are still unknown.

There are certain aspects of me that can be bad-ass sometimes, but being able to push it to the extreme is something I'd love to play. You don't get those roles, as a female, and especially as an indigenous female. There aren't those roles out there, so I want that. I want women to see a strong, sexy female without showing her body too much.

There are no female geniuses because there are no female Jack-the-Rippers.

I am a comedian. You may or may not find me funny, but the fact remains, that I am a comedian.

I did not have any role model. I could not learn anything from the female voice that male poets used, a voice which is more "feminine" than female. Nor could I learn anything from ancient female poetry that only sang about love, the feeling of farewell and longing for others.

If you're a female and you get asked by someone who shoots the most beautiful female scenes to be in their film, it's kind of exciting.

Female bonobos form a strong sisterhood. They rule through female solidarity.

I've been seesawing between not doing too much racial stuff - because I'd rather be known as the funny comedian than the funny Chinese comedian - but at the same time embracing my voice and who I am and what makes me unique, you know, which is the racial background.

I just noticed I've been writing lots of female-led things. Two of them haven't been announced yet, but the big Greg Capullo book I'm doing is a female-led story, and I'm doing another series with John Romita which is a female-led story as well.

If I was a young man, I might have bypassed the whole comedian-actor thing and just been a filmmaker. Then I'd probably have spent my whole life going, 'I wonder if I could have been a comedian.'

A cultural fixation on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty but an obsession about female obedience.

Companies must put infrastructure in place to support their female employees and ensure that they receive the benefits of male and female leadership.

It's like being a stand-up comedian is what leads to being a talk-show host. That life is not cut out for a woman, being on the road at these disgusting hotels. What girls want to do that? Gross guys want to do that. I think that the dearth in female comics is just the nature of the business, but there certainly isn't a dearth anymore, so I think it's just silly.

The question I always ask is: 'Where are all the women directors in America?' You know, where's the female Martin Scorsese, the female David Lynch?