Top 578 Funeral Quotes & Sayings

Life's too short for a funeral.

You don't want to be like the motion picture exec who had so many people at his funeral, but they were there just make sure he was dead. Or how about the guy who, at his funeral, the priest said, "Won't anyone stand up and say anything nice for the deceased?" and finally someone said, "Well, his brother was worse."

You are thirty minutes late." "Yes." "Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a funeral?" "No." "Why not, pray tell?" "Well, if the funeral was mine I'd have to be on time. If the wedding was mine it would be my funeral.

When it comes to death, we know that laughter and tears are pretty much the same thing. And so, laughing and crying, we said good-bye to my grandmother. And when we said goodbye to one grandmother, we said good-bye to all of them. Each funeral was a funeral for all of us. We lived and died together. All of us laughed when they lowered my grandmother into the ground. And all of us laughed when they covered her with dirt. And all of us laughed as we walked and drove and rode our way back to our lonely, lonely houses.

Many communities have turned a blind eye to what goes on inside funeral homes, as many people prefer not to know the ins and outs of the business. In addition, grieving customers in need of funeral goods and services may not be in a healthy state of mind to make financial decisions.

I really want Americans, and all of us, to be less afraid of death, and know that it's a passage, but that - don't go to the funeral before the day of the funeral.

Love is the funeral of hearts.

I hunted all through the four Gospels trying to find one of Christ's funeral sermons, but I couldn't find any. I found He broke up every funeral He ever attended! Death couldn't exist where He was.

Christ never preached any funeral sermons.

When I die I'm sure I will have a Big Funeral

Conduct your triumph as a funeral.

People ask me what makes a good funeral, and I tell them the most important thing is your man in the casket. If you have a man of substance in there, you have the makings of a first-class funeral.

Death is the funeral of all our sorrows.

I felt as if I had attended the funeral of someone I didn't know.

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.

I make it a kind of pious rule to go to every funeral to which I am invited, both as I wish to pay a proper respect to the dead, unless their characters have been bad, and as I would wish to have the funeral of my own near relations or of myself well attended.

I wouldn't want my funeral to be a sad, sappy thing.

A solemn funeral is inconceivable to the Chinese mind.

Every victory accomplished with weapons is a funeral that should be mourned.

I remember watching that scene in 'My Girl' where Anna Chlumsky cries at a funeral. I would cry with her and be like, 'Yeah, I think I could do that. I could do a funeral scene.'

The past is a funeral gone by.

When a nation's young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.

Keep your chin up, and don't go to the funeral - mine or yours or your loved one's - until the day of the funeral because then you miss the life that you have left.

But you know what? When I die, everybody is invited to come take a selfie at my funeral. Except for my enemies. They're not invited to the funeral, period.

Funeral by funeral, theory advances.

I grew up singing in church. My family owned funeral homes so I would sing for the occasional funeral, as well.

It's right around this time that her Grandmother Hall dies. And Eleanor Roosevelt is responsible for making all the funeral arrangements. And there are a couple of things that she really understands, as she contemplates her grandmother's life and makes the funeral arrangements. One, she's really talented, an organizational woman. She knows how to do things. She begins to compare her life to her grandmother's life. And it's very clear to her that being a devoted wife and a devoted mother is not enough.

Don't go to the funeral until the day of the funeral - live this day.

Don't go to the funeral until the day of the funeral. Live this day.

A man is known by his works. That I have heard at many a funeral.

O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory? Where, indeed. Many a badly stung survivor, faced with the aftermath of some relative's funeral, has ruefully concluded that the victory has been won hands down by a funeral establishment - in disastrously unequal battle.

I wrote "Miner's Prayer" after [grandfather] died. I'd gone back to his funeral, and he died in 1979. And I came back to California, and I think a couple of weeks after that funeral wrote that song thinking about him, his life.

I delayed my father's funeral because of cricket.

There wasn't a funeral per se. I buried [Gilda Radner] 3 miles from her house that she had bought just shortly before we met. It was an old house, old colonial house, 1734. And there were just a few friends at the funeral, a nonsectarian cemetery. And an old friend of hers from junior high school or high school was the rabbi in town, and he performed the service.

An adopted son shall never take the family, name and the estate of his natural father, the funeral cake follows the family, name and the estate, the funeral offerings of him who gives ,his son in adoption cease, as far as that son is concerned.

A piano store looks like a funeral parlor for music.

I want my funeral to be uncomfortably quiet.

Science advances one funeral at a time.

When I was a kid, I would fantasize about my own funeral.

With mirth in funeral and with dirge in marriage.

Success is a public affair. Failure is a private funeral.

I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say, "As long as I can walk and I'm healthy, there's always tomorrow."

'Four Weddings and a Funeral' is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I'll say that 'Monsters, Inc.' is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending.

Science advances funeral by funeral

I want to die consciously, without fear, and without anger. Three things. I see my friends dying with fear and anger and it's terrible. My grandmother kept her clothes ready for 40 years for her funeral. She lived to 103! But she kept the clothes in a cupboard. As the styles changed, she changed the clothes! I think if I start now with my funeral, it's good.

Low on his funeral couch he lies!

If any of you cry at my funeral I'll never speak to you again.

There have been times when I've felt inappropriately emotional. I remember making 'The Most Hated Family in America' about the Westboro Baptist Church, and being on the way to a funeral of a U.S. soldier with the Phelps family; they were going to picket the funeral.

The chief mourner does not always attend the funeral.

A wedding is like a funeral, but with musicians.

Nice day for a funeral.

I built a cannon out of ice, and wrapped myself in the funeral carpet which my husbands and wives had woven for me out of their own hair, and one of my wives was my gunner. I came back here, after many adventures, and once, when I'd been drinking, donated the funeral carpet to the national museum. When I was sober again, I asked for it back, but they claimed not to know what I was talking about.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again!

I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.

The purpose of a funeral service is to comfort the living. It is important at a funeral to display excessive grief. This will show others how kind-hearted and loving you are and their improved opinion of you will be very comforting.

I foresee a great funeral contest over me.

After Jessica Mitford published 'The American Way of Death' in 1963, to expose the abuses in the funeral industry, a groundswell of support for government intervention followed. Under President Ronald Reagan The Funeral Rule was first enacted to protect consumers from deceptive practices, but the rule has yet to put the nail in the coffin.

...an everlasting funeral marches round your heart.