Top 1200 Funniest Thing Quotes & Sayings - Page 19

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I've always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.

One thing I have learned in a long life: that all our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike -- and yet it is the most precious thing we have.

I was going through the hardest thing, also the greatest thing, for any human being to do; to accept that which is already within you, and around you.

Look back, to slavery, to suffrage, to integration and one thing is clear. Fashions in bigotry come and go. The right thing lasts.

It is a sad thing to want for happiness, but it is a terrible thing to see another groping about blindly for it, when it is almost within the grasp.

Clinton's attempt to socialize healthcare was the second most disgusting thing he did in the oval office. I can't remember was the first thing was.

I mentor a lot of CEOs and entrepreneurs, and when I see that product is the number-one thing, the only thing that matters, that's a real red flag.

How did you explain a thing it had not occurred to you to question? A thing you just knew, clear through to your soul?

I think that that's always been a real talent of mine is to be able to spot somebody who has that thing that is so non-definable, that thing that I wish I possessed.

The most important thing is that it's much more fun to play in a band than to be in an audience in a club. That's the main thing I think, that you can do it.

It's not like I'm not constantly dealing with a litany of injuries that I have myself. If it's not one thing, it's another thing, but I've just been able to keep rolling.

The worst thing about age is not quite being able to do what you once did. The best thing is learning to accept what you've got and what you are.

If you suffer from depression, anything that makes you feel has to the most important thing in your life, because it's the only thing that can save you.

When you talk about presidents, loyalty is a great thing until it becomes a bad thing. Witness once again Watergate.

The Creator gave us the complete, unchallengable right of prerogative over the one thing, and only thing we own, our mind.

The great thing and the hard thing is to stick to things when you have outlived the first interest, and not yet got the second, which comes with a sort of mastery.

A band's only unique thing is its chemistry, especially if none of you are prodigious players or particularly handsome. The one thing you have is your uniqueness, so we hold on to that.

It was such a paradox for me that the only thing I know how to do is act, but that the first thing I abandoned while writing were the characters.

I think it was pretty obvious early on that we had both come with kind of the same attitude of "Let's just [jump] in," and neither of us was going to be precious about it. I feel like the thing that we learned is, weirdly, the most intimate thing or a very intimate thing you can do to somebody is hold their tongue with your fingers. When Paul [Dano] is making me talk [in Swiss Army Man].

I'm not opposed - we manufacture a lot of socks in North Carolina - I just choose not to wear them. It's a Southern thing. It's a cultural thing.

I really think the single most important thing to remember about trying to fix the schools is that there is no such thing as an instant result.

You don't really see a muscle as a part of you, in a way. You see it as a thing. You look at it as a thing and you say well this thing has to be built a little longer, the bicep has to be longer; or the tricep has to be thicker here in the elbow area. And you look at it and it doesn't even seem to belong to you. Like a sculpture. Then after looking at it a sculptor goes in with his thing and works a little bit, and you do maybe then some extra forced reps to get this lower part out. You form it. Just like a sculpture.

I learn to love the thing that has to be erased, the thing I may not be allowed to keep, sand that runs away beneath my running feet.

I went through the whole student revolution thing and the last thing you wanted was people to think you were Friedrich von Trapp.

The most offensive thing that ever occurred in 'The New Yorker' would be, like, the mildest thing at a Chris Rock concert.

The problem the cable channels have is they have to fill 24 hours. That's a terrible thing. We only do that on the biggest stories. The thing is there has happened to be a lot o

That’s the funny thing about arriving somewhere, Vin,” he said with a wink. “Once you’re there, the only thing you can really do is leave again.

If you're telling me I'm not mature, that's one thing I don't cry over since as far as I can make out it's the same thing as being dead.

I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.

There is an advantage in having a routine and working with the same people when you can and in writing as a regular thing and filming as a regular thing. That routine pays off for you. You get a lot of productivity that way, rather than sitting around waiting for inspiration and waiting for the perfect thing to happen. I would be much less productive that way.

It's one thing to look at someone like Beyonce and Rihanna and to see how beloved and talented they are, and it's another thing to live inside it.

It was such a paradox for me that the only thing I know how to do is act, but that the first thing I abandoned while writing were the characters

There is probably no such thing as a good divorce, but clinging to an old idea of how relationships are unraveled can make a bad thing even worse.

The thing I most connect with is the idea of not giving up. And thats a thing I have in my own life. You have to trust your instincts and keep trying.

The mind is an enchanting thing is an enchanted thing, like the glaze on a katydid-wing subdivided by sun till the nettings are legion.

The sound of madness is life. It's waking up in the morning to your alarm clock, your kid crying for you, hearing the sound of the city, it's everything. Madness isn't necessarily a negative thing, it can be a positive thing. You know, hearing them cry for you, if you have children, is a great thing, it's your child.

The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.

The thing you are ripening toward is the fruit of your life. It will make you bright inside, no matter what you are outside. It is a shining thing.

The best thing about being a dad? Well, I think it's just the thing that every man wants - to have a son and heir.

Obsolescence is a factor which says that the new thing I bring you is worth more than the unused value of the old thing.

The thing I most connect with is the idea of not giving up. And that's a thing I have in my own life. You have to trust your instincts and keep trying.

I can't make head or tail of Life. Love is a fine thing, Art is a fine thing, Nature is a fine thing; but the average human mind and spirit are confusing beyond measure. Sometimes I think that all our learning is the little learning of the maxim. To laugh at a Roman awe-stricken in a sacred grove is to laugh at something today.

The man who is wise enough to know the right thing to do, who is good enough to wish to do only the right thing, and who is able and strong enough to do the right thing is a truly great man.

I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.

Science is as yet in its infancy, and we can foretell little of the future save that the thing that has not been is the thing that shall be; that no beliefs, no values, no institutions are safe.

There is no such thing as accomplishing a righteous reform by the use of "expediency." There is no such thing as sliding up- hill.In morals the only sliders are backsliders.

All we can hope for is that the thing is going to slowly and imperceptibly shift. All I can say is that 50 years ago there were no such thing as environmental policies.

I'll tell you one thing, when you have young men and women in combat operations and they lose their friends, one thing you quickly learn not to be ashamed of is tears.

The first thing I do after I wake up is switch on the music player and the last thing I do before going to sleep is stop it.

Ah, well, the truth is always one thing, but in a way it's the other thing, the gossip, that counts. It shows where people's hearts lie.

Do you know the phrase, 'The word 'water' will not wet you?' It's one thing to write down an idea and another thing entirely to execute it.

I tried the broadcasting thing, the coaching thing, but I'll never replace the competitive feeling of being out on the field when we were players.

I can't deal with someone wanting to take a relationship backward or needing space or cheating on you. It's a conscious thing; it's a common-sense thing.

The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well.

The minute I enter my house or a hotel room on the road, wherever I am, the first thing I do is light a candle; that's my favourite thing.

Generally I don't like traveling around saying the exact same thing. I don't think that's a very good thing to do with your life.

The biggest thing I learned was that the harder you work for the thing that you love the most, then everything that you want is going to come true.

We will all be gone one day. Not as a negative thing - as a positive thing, too, you know, and we should leave something behind ourselves.

When God desires to destroy a thing, he entrusts its destruction to the thing itself. Every bad institution of this world ends by suicide.

Funny how people despise platitudes, when they are usually the truest thing going. A thing has to be pretty true before it gets to be a platitude.