Top 385 Funniest Quotes & Sayings - Page 4

I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can't do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny.

Norm MacDonald is here - one of the funniest people ever. Norm's got a giant gambling problem. He's dropped more coin in a casino than Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.

I mean, I find things that happened in real life to be the funniest - things that you observe instead of crazy abstract things, you know.

People come up to me on the street and say, 'Men at Work is the funniest movie I ever saw in my life'. But, you know, I do have to question how many movies these people have seen.

The funniest thing a man has ever said to me... I once recieved a text message that said, 'Fancy a cuddle-slash-wrestle?' It's just so awful Obviously I didn't reply.

I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world, yet there is this sad, beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you.

I just love Kate. [Bieber], to me, is one of the funniest impressions because it's so all encompassing. It's like a total body and soul impression. But that's Kate. Every character she does is that way.

I remember trying to explain the class system to a Canadian friend when we started at RADA. The funniest thing was when I told her what bonfire night is all about. It's quite dark when you start breaking it down.

My dad is the funniest human being I've ever met in my life - for years, I'd watch him hold court in whatever situation he was in; he was the most amazing raconteur. I often feel I've hijacked what should have been his career.

My 'No Parlez' album in 1983 - which went quadruple platinum - changed my life. The funniest thing though is the pictures we shot for the cover were rubbish, so we had to use a set we'd done for Smash Hits magazine instead.

The funniest book I've ever had read to me is 'I, Partridge.' It's a brilliantly written book, but it's the greatest audiobook there has ever been.

One of the funniest things about Mr. Kaufman is that all of his filmed scripts - 'Being John Malkovich,' 'Human Nature,' 'Adaptation' and now 'Sunshine' - sound like titles from REM's 'Reckoning.'

I need to be spontaneous sometimes. Sometimes I find that the little detail or nuance that you add to it that's based on what's happening at the time that's not very rehearsed often ends up feeling like the funniest thing.

In L.A., there could be a million delusional comedians or actors and they all blend in together and no one is ever like, "You're living a lie." But if you're in a small town and you're like, "I'm the funniest person here," but you're not that good, everyone's going to notice and call you out on it.

The older ones recently saw Mr and Mrs Smith and I think they thought that was the funniest thing they'd ever seen because, of course, watching your parents fight as spies is some strange sort of childhood fantasy.

My guiltiest pleasure in life is 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' I watch them all - old, new - I don't care. Despite how bad the writing is on the show. The people getting hit and hurt, that's hilarious.

On '90 Day Bae,' Marcy Jarreau and I recap '90 Day Fiancee' because it's just the most insane, funniest show on television.

I learned so much from Jane Lynch. She was the funniest and most talented person. She taught me so much about being a performer.

I'll see something awful on the street and I'll come home and say to my boyfriend, "I just saw the funniest thing on the street." It's a stance. It's the way I was born, or the way I was damaged.

I think one of the funniest things about '30 Rock' is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton - she's always the fool, the joke is always on her.

I got a phone call from Jon Favreau saying, 'I need the voice of a personality-less robot, and I thought of you immediately.' I thought that was the funniest thing I ever heard, so I said, 'Yes.'

Jesse Tyler Ferguson is probably one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Everything the kid does is funny. I think he tunes his life to being funny.

There may be something good in silence. It's a brand new thing. You can hear the funniest little discussions, if you keep turning the volume down. Shut yourself up, and listen out loud.

I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world, yet there is this sad, beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you

My favorite show is America's Funniest Home Videos. People will get hit on the head and I feel bad cause I'm laughing my head off!

I gained the weight on purpose for 'Little Nicky,' and it was one of those cases where I'd done a few roles where I looked the same way, and I wanted to be the roommate because I thought that was the funniest part for me.

I think expressing yourself and working hard can't help but have great results. Look at Zach Galifanakis. He didn't tweet. He didn't have a podcast. He just went out and did the funniest standup you'll ever see in your life. And he was rewarded for that.

Joel Waldfogel is one of the smartest and funniest economists on the planet. I think of him every time I start to unwrap a present. Buy Scroogenomics for your friends and family. It makes the perfect Christmas gift.

Everyone in my family is very supportive, and any mention of family in my show is just, in my idea, the funniest version of the family of the guy of who's performing.

A lot of people think that, as a person, Nawazuddin Siddiqui is very serious. However, he is very funny and witty. Once he opens up with you, he can be the funniest person around.

Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner are the funniest dudes ever, and they have great careers on their own. They made great art in the '90s, and they still have dinner three times a week.

I was a quiet kid - I didn't think I needed to be the funniest guy. I was always more of a listener. I went to 12 different schools, and I wasn't the charismatic dude, but I was captain of the track team and wrestling team.

They [FBI] had a lot of clippings, a lot of articles I'd written. And to me the - the funniest one was - I had done a piece for Playboy about J. Edgar Hoover.

The funniest thing happened in one of my first scenes. In the beginning Emma was really arrogant and punk and in every scene she would slam the door when she walked in or out.

I've been acting for many years now, and I find there's nothing I enjoy more than making films with my friends and people I like, who also are the funniest people around.

What I find funny are peoples' blind spots. That's the funniest thing about anybody - when they just don't realize who they are. What's funny about seeing a hippo do ballet is it thinks it's a swan.

Roy Blount, who is the funniest person I know, journeys deep into the dark heart of humor and brings back a wonderfully insightful, superbly crafted song of the soul that had me laughing and crying too

I don't really like to just sit down at a computer and write because that tends to be a little forced. Sometimes the funniest ideas just happen in the moment, when you're talking to people, or you notice something.

Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.

I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy.

I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it.

If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity.

As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually.

Sometimes I try to sell shows with a female lead to networks, and that isn't something that's been a proven formula for them, so they reject it. I do feel like men get the funniest roles in movies.

On 'Taxi,' I had the great fortune of directing many wonderful episodes, none more classic than Reverend Jim's driving test. It was maybe the funniest show I did.

I had seen 'Avenue Q' off-Broadway back in 2003 and fell in love with it. I just thought it was the smartest, funniest thing I'd seen in a long time.

The embarrassment of a situation can, once you are over it, be the funniest time in your life. And I suppose a lot of my comedy comes from painful moments or experiences in life, and you just flip them on their head.

I left my car parked at the top of Lombard Street Hill, and I forgot to put the breaks on. It's the funniest thing. The car is running down the hill.

I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?

I like drama as well. When I played Hamlet, I got one review that said, "This must surely be the funniest Hamlet in history," but schoolgirls would still cry when he died.

On 'Sunny,' we're not trying to be a family show. We're literally trying to make the funniest show possible.

The funniest thing is when somebody says "Look I've no idea who you are but my friend said you are on a show and I just wanted to introduce myself" you know that they are lying! Those people can just get out of my way.

I think it was 'Tales of Topographic Oceans' on 8-track that was the funniest thing because it would fade out in the middle of a song and fade back in again, and when the tracks change, it was quite amusing.

It makes it really hard to just go to a dinner party because, in my work life, I'm surrounded by the funniest people, ever. I'm really spoiled. I laugh a lot, in my day.

We have to agree beforehand to divide the funniest lines between us. But Tina [Fey] is so brilliant that I just love every moment working with her and also just hanging out together as friends.

I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff.

And it's the funniest thing: as soon as I see it, the whistling in my ears stops and the feeling of terror drains away, and I realize this whole time I haven't been falling at all. I've been floating.

When you're not involved, other people's unhappiness seems to be about the funniest damn thing on earth because you think you can solve it, that you are God, that you are above this, and that their unhappiness is just such useless toil and agony. If it's you, it ceases to be a comedy.

Everything I am, everything I've been allowed to do, career-wise, has come out of the opportunity I had with 'Cheers'. I think it's one of the funniest shows ever. They are some of my best friends.

At one point, I wrote 20 jokes a day, and I had a commitment to send them to the same three people. Now, I just write down what my husband says in his sleep. He's the funniest person, even unconscious.