Top 1200 Funny Birthday Quotes & Sayings - Page 17

When you're on a staff, it's not your job to write what you think is funny. It's your job to write what the person who created the show thinks is funny.

I was a business major at the University of Richmond, and after I graduated, I took a job at a corporate ad agency. I had comedic dreams, but I also had a realistic look at what I had to do when I left school: maybe I'm funny, but maybe I'm one of a hundred thousand funny people, you know?

My father took me and my about-to-be-traumatized friends to Stanley Kubrick's '2001' for my 10th birthday party.

I think with Sky and BBC Three and Channel 4, there are some great television platforms, and the stand-up movement in this country is phenomenal. Its like rock'n'roll here. Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding mediums to express themselves.

I wanted Cathy and Irving to actually say 'I do' and be pronounced husband and wife on Feb. 5, which is my mom's birthday.

I promised myself: Before your 18th birthday, you're going to be at Jean Paul Gaultier. And it worked. I was hired.

You know what's funny to me? You know what's really funny to me? The fact that you've been calling Lita the walking kiss of death, but tonight.. the walking KOD beat the walking STD.

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.

I had a 'Cats' phase, where I did lots of overturned furniture and trash cans. I asked for a fog machine for my birthday.

At 50, you need to laugh about your age. If you don't, everybody else will do it for you. Happy birthday, old chum!

People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

Having a Mary Poppins-themed birthday party when I was 5 - all my friends went in dresses, and I went as a chimney sweep. I was a real tomboy.

Love, light & blessings be On this day I wish to say 'Health & Happiness to come your way' Happy Birthday

There's no magic numbers in birthdays in my life, there are no milestones, there's no event. Every birthday has to be celebrated to its fullest, even if it's with one person or with 20.

I was at a birthday party and a truck backed up and the wheels ran over my chest. I lost part of my lung and my liver.

Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

Someone once I asked my son Cruz, 'When's your birthday?' and he told them, 'It's just after Fashion Week!'

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!"

I like to go to anybody else's birthday, and if I'm invited I'm a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don't care.

I tried to be as positive as possible, because I have the same birthday as Michael Jackson. He is my cosmic brother. I love him.

I did a lot of serious plays, and I did the Oxford Review as well, which is supposed to be funny, but I'm not sure how funny we were when we did it. Then, when I finished my course, it was only then that I decided to go to drama school and try and do acting because I was enjoying it so much and so on.

I was fired at the pinnacle of my career, on my 39th birthday. And in the year that followed, I learned that there are many psychological phases of being 'let go.'

I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed.

I saw these little trucks that I was obsessed with, and my dad got me one for my eighth birthday. That was the start of my racing career.

I decided if you're lucky enough to be alive, you should use each birthday to celebrate what your life is about.

Everyday is a birthday; every moment of it is new to us; we are born again, renewed for fresh work and endeavor.

Some of the funniest things are just situations in life that are funny. The way people interact. People describing their first kiss with someone, to me, is really funny. When someone goes into detail about each moment of that, I really find that enjoyable to listen to.

I love mayonnaise. Every birthday when I was a kid I'd go to Black Angus and just dip my burger in mayo.

I wore a $30 vintage wedding dress for my 8th birthday in an underground jazz club in Seattle. This was what I wanted.

I remember, after getting my very first CD player for a birthday, I immediately purchased the soundtrack to the movie 'Grease.'

I did two things on my seventy-fifth birthday. I visited my wife's grave. Then I joined the army.

I don't know if I'm embarrassed because I think it's a funny show, but I could imagine there being a snootiness about it, but I do find 'The Big Bang Theory' very funny. I think that's a good show. I think it's fun, I like the actors; I think they're all doing a great job.

For my 23rd birthday I had a house party that was '90s themed and I dressed up as Alabama whirly from 'True Romance.'

OK, I have to admit that I go on TheSuperficial.com. That guy is so funny, he's just so funny... you know, I'm a news junkie, so I regularly flip between HuffingtonPost.com, CNN.com, and a site that's called MyWay.com, which shows me six different news feeds. And I go on DrudgeReport.com about once a day.

I really like funny women. I'm drawn to women like Tina Fey and Amy Poehler and Kristen Wiig, Amy Schumer. They're writers, they're producers, they're actresses. They're brilliant, funny, excellent women.

Congratulations. The fact that you're reading this means you've taken one giant step closer to surviving until your next birthday.

I think the most important thing journalism taught me is to mine for details. The details are key. You can't try to be funny or strange or poignant; you have to let the details be funny or strange or poignant for you.

On October 19, 2009, my sixteenth birthday, Wild Eyes officially became mine! Now it was really happening.

Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there for every major event.

All my favorite stars, my family and my friends are here. I'm having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have.

Having studied at the Sorbonne, I spent my 21st birthday in Paris and celebrated with one of my professors in a cafe outside of Notre Dame.

When I see the kind of passion Sir Alex shows, it is hard to believe he is about to celebrate his 71st birthday.

My grandma spelled my name wrong until she died. Like literally, birthday cards, mail, everything.

Dr Sarvapalli Radhakrishnan served this country well, he did not celebrate his birthday, he celebrated it for teachers.

I think I've wanted to be an actress since the day I was born. I even asked my parents for an agent for my seventh birthday!

Let all beings in all the worlds be happy. Include this universal prayer in your prayers every day. This is my birthday message to you.

When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that.

Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.

I tried to bake a cake for my mother's birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days.

There weren't any astronauts until I was about 10. Yuri Gagarin went into space right around my 10th birthday.

If I have one wish for my birthday, it is that 35 is the end of desperation and the beginning of acceptance. Part of that is believing that if I'm meant to give birth, I will.

The summer of 2002 at the Wilson birthday party I met Van Dyke again and I made plans to have dinner with him.

I think with Sky and BBC Three and Channel 4, there are some great television platforms, and the stand-up movement in this country is phenomenal. It's like rock n' roll here. Britain's a funny place and there's a lot of funny people coming out of there and a lot of people are finding mediums to express themselves.

Being a humorist is not a voluntary thing. You can tell this because in a situation where saying a funny thing will cause a lot of trouble, a humorist will still say the funny thing. No matter how inappropriate.

My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him.

Lots of birthday wishes Are sent to you today Hope your day will be One of the best You've ever had!

Washington's birthday is as close to a secular Christmas as any Christian country dare come this side of blasphemy.

Being traded is like celebrating your 100th birthday. It might not be the happiest occasion in the world, but consider the alternative.

I had this funny family. At one end, they were breeding dogs in south-east London - for greyhound racing - and at the other, my uncle was living in Downing Street. And I would actually go to Downing Street, which didn't strike me as funny. I'd get on the number 15 bus.

I received a call for getting selected in 'Cartel' on December 4, my birthday. I was on cloud nine and absolutely overjoyed hearing the news.