Top 1200 Funny Birthday Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

I'm a Virgo. That is me. To a tee. Me and Beyonce. And Amy Winehouse! Same birthday.

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

For me, normal means freedom to live life as we choose, from cramming into packed planes to go on holiday to crowding into pubs for birthday parties.

How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, His precepts!

You're taking big risks doing comedy, because ultimately, you're trying to be funny. If you're not funny, you look like an idiot. You have to be prepared to look like an idiot, so you need to have confidence in the man at the helm of it all. You have to take a massive leap of faith and be daring and bold with your choices. It always makes for better work I think.

Even when I was an engineer, I was a comic on my job. At birthday and holiday parties, I was the one scheduling and emceeing. If you work on your gift, and you're good, it will shine through.

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

Midnight, and the clock strikes. It is Christmas Day, the werewolves birthday, the door of the solstice still wide enough open to let them all slink through.

On your birthday thank your parents and celebrate with them. They are the reason you are here and it is their day too.

A Little Birdie Told Me It's Your Birthday! So Enjoy Your Special Day!

Happy birthday! Hope your 50s will be as awesome as your 40s.

On your birthday today, don't Look up 'Life Expectancy' coz I suspect As you've reached 60, you want to be happy, Trust me, you'll be depressed.

I'm a humungous Browns fan. My 30th birthday was actually at the Browns' stadium.

My birthday, I don't really see it as a special day, to be honest. It's just another day for me.

May today be a happy memory, tomorrow a bright new promise. Happy Birthday

It was, at last, real life, with my heart safe and condemned to die of happy love in the joyful agony of any day after my hundredth birthday.

Since the day I got married, I never got to plan my birthday.

I was playing birthday parties. House-rent parties where they used to sell whisky during prohibition.

There's different kinds of improv. There's Second City improv where you try to slowly build a nice sketch. There's stuff you do in college coffee houses where you just go joke, joke, joke. Bring another funny character with a funny hat on his head. Christopher Guest is more the line of trying to get a story out.

Four hundred thousand South Africans are dying of AIDS every year. This makes the war on Iraq look like a birthday party.

My wife and I love to travel, so if we don't have work on either her or my birthday, we definitely travel.

I thought it would be a funny concept to publish a book about stand-up comedy with Faber, the poetry publisher, and to apply to stand-up the same sort of weight of annotation that you would to a classic work of literature, an epic poem. I thought that would be funny.

I grew up with guns. For my 16th birthday, in fact, I received a .357 instead of a car. But there was nothing playful about them; they were tools.

I want to say that probably 24 hours after I told CBS that I was stepping down at my 65th birthday, I was already regretting it. And I regretted it every day since.

Citizens, thank you for all your birthday wishes. I am 88 years old today and still lucky to live in the greatest city in the world.

Today would have been the birthday of Osama bin Laden. It makes me remember when Seal Team 6 threw him a surprise party.

I was in kidney failure. I ended up having a kidney transplant on my 21st birthday.

I avoid oily food and in fact my friends get mad at me as I don't have cake even on my own birthday. I do have a sweet tooth though for chocolates.

Why is Earth Day, today, also Lenin's birthday? Coincidence? Or does it signal the true intent of the national and worldwide environmental movement?

They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.

On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles.

There's a rule of writing: if everything is funny, nothing is funny; if everything is sad, nothing is sad. You want that contrast.

Jesus' birthday is commercialized, so of course, Black History Month is commercialized.

I really never thought people would think that I was funny, I thought (my friends) thought I was funny because I was their friend, but other people would just think I was an asshole. I was at least partly right.

I did a lot of sitcoms, and being funny isn't about being beautiful. Usually, beautiful people aren't the funny people.

The actors come in and they make characters their own and so Patrick and I have never been the kind to think that our script is the bible. We want to make sure that the story is told, that you stick to the story but if you have to make changes to the character then that's fine. A lot of times there are some funny one-liners, funny things that happen that are out of the ordinary. I like it.

I am 23, the year of the iron birthday, the gate of darkness. I am ill.

I have got a vintage Omega 1949 watch I love... It was a present that I got for my birthday.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love.

My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her.

People always say, when did you realize you were funny? And I think it's not that you realize you were funny. It's that you're brain works in a certain way. And I don't think that that's - I think in some respects it's uncontrollable, and you can either accept it and deal with it and hone it or you can try to fight it. And I was too weak to fight it.

The waterfront without the Ferry Tower would be like a birthday cake without a candle.

I didn't start auditioning until my 10th birthday when I auditioned for 'Matilda' The Musical in London! It was actually the first time I realized that it was a career I could pursue.

The problem now is (that) the foods of poor quality are the ones coming in from home from teachers and staff, used for birthday parties and for things like booster sales.

I'm a big fan of Kurt Cobain. I put a picture of him holding a gun on my Instagram for his birthday. He's definitely one of my favorite rock artists.

Is that a birthday? 'tis, alas! too clear; 'Tis but the funeral of the former year.

Purim is the birthday of the first Schutz-Jude , the first Jewish toady to foreign royalty.

Good families always ritualize the table. You can say, "This is a Christmas meal; this is a birthday meal."

James Gunn runs his set like a 12-year-old's birthday party. Every day, he is so excited to come to work.

When a man is tired of life on his 21st birthday it indicates that he is rather tired of something in himself.

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that… Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world. And we laugh, we laugh, with a will, in the beginning. But it's always the same thing. Yes, it's like the funny story we have heard too often, we still find it funny, but we don't laugh any more.

My birthday began with the water - Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my name.

I don't want any funny business, and above all I don't want to be dragged into other people's funny business. If it's to be my head on the block, I want to know that it's doing there, and not that it's some stupid things that other people have done.

Wikipedia celebrates its 12th birthday today. Of course, I have no idea if it's true. I read it on Wikipedia.

The great children's author and illustrator Shirley Hughes marks her 90th birthday by appearing as Michael Berkeley's guest in 'Private Passions'.

In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday!

I think my first album was a gift for my birthday and a Faith Hill album; I loved her.

I think I'm always inspired by really, really funny, amazing women, but I'm also inspired by really funny, amazing men. I think there's more of a feminist voice, like with Amy Schumer being out right now, whom I adore.

Mattresses! Beautiful! Let's go buy a couple of mattresses. Give 'em to people for their birthday.