Top 1200 Funny Diet Quotes & Sayings

Approximately seventy percent of the female population is on a diet at any given time. More women diet than vote.

I'm on the diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That's a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver's license.

I tried the paleo diet, which is the caveman diet - lots of meat. And I tried the calorie restriction diet: The idea is that if you eat very, very little - if you're on the verge of starvation, you will live a very long time, whether or not you want to, of course.

I tried the Scarsdale diet and the Stillman water diet (you remember that one, where you run weight off trying to get to the bathroom).

Some say vegetarianism is an alternative diet, but it is the original diet, the plan designed by God.

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?" "Funny haha or funny strange?" James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'" "Ah. Funny strange" James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

It would be like a cleansing diet. The problem was, the only diet I'd ever been on backfired. Once I tried to go an entire month without chocolate. Not one bite. At the end of two weeks, I broke down and binged on more chocolate that I would have eaten in three months. I hoped my chocolate-free diet didn't foreshadow what would happen if I tried to avoid Patch.

I had been on this insane diet for almost 17 years to maintain the weight that was demanded of me when I was modeling. My diet was really starvation. I am not naturally that thin.

Diet is the essential key to all successful healing. Without a proper balanced diet, the effectiveness of herbal treatment is very limited.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Food does not rank high on my list. I eat to live, and I'm very particular about my diet. It's strictly low fat diet for me.

Doctors should first understand the cause of disease, then treat it with diet. Medicine should only be used if diet fails

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

The fact is, I diet every day of my life. I have to work at it. But I diet so I can pig out.

I don't believe in the no-carb diet... I have a theory. I think if you give up carbs, you get cranky. You must include them in your daily diet.

One second here and there will make all the difference between something being funny and not being funny. That's why I like going, 'Well, we wrote that six months ago, and it was funny one time we read it, but it's not funny anymore. So what? Just dump it.'

I don't do the gym and I don't diet. I'm vegetarian but I don't diet.

Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it.

I've kind of changed my diet, but in my diet rulebook, on section 5 paragraph A, there's a cheating plan. So, Corky's BBQ is one of my favorite spots to go to.

I work out every day, and I eat 1,200 calories. Here's the truth - like I've said to everybody, 'Every diet works if you follow the diet.'

I've never followed a vegan or vegetarian diet in the past, but I think I could do it. It would not be easy. I have worked with nutritionists who have said a vegan diet is not necessarily all positive for your health, because you need nutrients you only find in meats. I believe in a balanced diet.

I have a completely addictive personality. Diet Coke is my last - God, I know people counting days off Diet Coke; I'm such a Diet Cokehead. Now I won't let myself buy it.

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

Americans get fatter and fatter and buy more and more diet books, but you don't lose weight by buying diet books - you go on a diet. It's easy to read a diet book, but it's hard to go on a diet.

I am on a fat-free diet for most of the year, but before 'the worlds,' I tend to relax on the diet a bit to concentrate on darts.

I don't have a diet. Jenny Craig got a diet. Seriously. I eat to live, not to die.

I love Diet Coke, I drink Diet Coke... What girl doesn't like to have a Diet Coke?

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.

It's easy to diet or get off a diet when you've got a juicy role to play.

One of the good things about the Paleo diet is that it automatically cleans a lot of crap out of your diet.

Eating meat and dairy products is the SAD (Standard American Diet) diet. The SAD diet can only make you sad. It causes heart disease, cancer, diabetes and makes you fat. Raising animals for food destroys the environment... And those animals are not happy. They are enslaved and live humiliating, fearful lives of abuse and tremendous suffering. Veganism turns sadness into joy.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

Anything that's popular gets made into a diet. Acai is no more of a diet than the eraser on your No. 2 pencil.

I love Spanish food. My diet is the Mediterranean diet, which is good food. I eat well.

I did every diet: Atkins. Cabbage-soup diet. Dean Ornish. But I couldn't live the rest of my life like a rabbit.

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

The longer I've looked at these questions, of the American diet and the public health crisis that we face because of that diet, the more I've come to the conclusion that the collapse of cooking is a big part of the problem.

The diet for climbing all the time isn't really different from the diet for living. It's not like cardio sports where you're burning a bajillion calories every day.

The Warrior Diet is the only diet today that challenges all common dietary concepts and offers a real alternative—guidelines that are not based on superficial restrictions, but rather on true principles of human nutrition.

Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny.

When I say a vegan diet can be "the healthiest dietary option we can live by," I mean an informed vegan diet.

Every year, there is a new diet that all the celebs or housewives are trying. We all want the perfect diet or the perfect pill. If we surveyed a million women, and they could choose to learn the truth about God or the foolproof diet, I guarantee more women would pick the miracle diet over the miracle of life.

Some people are absolutely funny and you want to wish them Happy Thanksgiving in funniest way possible. Here is the list of Funny Thanksgiving sayings. Just chose the quote you want to wish that person. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.

I tried the paleo diet, which is the caveman diet - lots of meat. I tried the raw food vegan diet. And I tried the calorie restriction diet, which is the idea is that if you eat very, very little - if you're on the verge of starvation, you will live a very long time. Whether or not you want to, of course, is the idea.

Simply put, Cavemen's diet is a diet plan which suggest food eaten by the cavemen. Cavemen ate what was available - like meat, vegetables and a few nuts. What we grow for food is carbohydrates, and that leads to weight gain. I started this diet a few years ago, and ever since, I haven't had carbs at all.

When travelling, I make a point of eating a proper diet no matter where I am in the world. It is getting much easier to eat a vegetarian or vegan based diet.

Being shorter or taller depends on details of the diet. Vegetarians can obtain a balanced diet, with sufficient complete protein, vitamins, minerals and micro-nutrients. It's trickier for vegans but it can be done.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny.

I tell people I'm on a diet. If somebody sees me with a muffin, they'll think I'm off my diet. It's like secret little police that I've made for myself.

Fruit is definitely on the maintenance diet. It's on the lifestyle diet.

I used to take vitamins, but I think diet is the most important thing. If you have a good diet, there's no need for that stuff.

The term “starvation diet” refers to 900 calories a day. I was on one-third of a starvation diet. What do you call that? One word that comes to my mind: “suicide.

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.

Hrithik is the go-to guy for queries related to diet. He is great with expressions and is funny in real life. I wonder why someone hasn't cast him in a comic role yet.

I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things.

I watch my diet and I eat right, but I am not on a strict diet.

I had to go on the strict caveman diet where you eat only vegetables, chicken, and egg whites. This diet in many ways sounds right to me, and it has worked wonderfully.