Top 1200 Funny Golf Quotes & Sayings

Golf is a game of integrity. And golf is a game of forgiveness. I think the high standards of golf remind people of how lucky they are, or how fortunate they are, to be able to play the game.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Be funny on a golf course? Do I kid my best friend's mother about her heart condition?

If I get on the golf course, my basketball game is a direct reflection of how many rounds of golf I can get. So, the more rounds of golf, the better I play.

My one complaint with my father as a parent is that, not only was he not a golfer, but also he was sort of opposed to golf. I was a country club kid growing up. I should have played golf, but my father thought golf was a sport for old men.

You figure they cheat at the ballpark, they'll cheat on the golf course, they'll cheat in business, and anything else in life. Players may laugh about it and say it's funny, but right down in their heart, they don't think it's funny at all, and they have no respect for a person who cheats.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

I hate whenever there's a social issue that comes up in golf and people in the mainstream media who hate golf and who've conjured up all these stereotypes of people who are in the sport, the way they tear it down... I resent it, and I'll defend golf and people in golf until my dying day.

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?" "Funny haha or funny strange?" James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'" "Ah. Funny strange" James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one

I used to read every golf magazine front to back; I was addicted to Golf Channel, read Rotella, read every golf book.

The beautiful thing about the game of golf is you can play good golf and compete well into your later years, and you can't do this in basketball or football or baseball. But in golf, it's a longer live sport.

I mean, I think having a great family like I do. You know, I tend to want to give it all I have when I'm at the golf course, and then when I leave I don't want to think about golf at all. And I just remind myself almost daily that golf's just my job, it's not who I am.

I'll watch golf while I work out. I'm your average golf fan.

I never went into a tournament or round of golf thinking I had to beat a certain player. I had to beat the golf course. If I prepared myself for a major, went in focused, and then beat the golf course, the rest took care of itself.

I found that golf saved me from going to the pub every day so instead I play golf with other unemployed actors. I'm a member of the Stage Golfing Society and I play golf with all sorts of people.

I don't play golf for money. I play golf to execute that shot, the beautiful shot that everybody adores. That's why I think we all play golf.

Man, I'm in the World Golf Hall of Fame. Don't forget that, now. I'm in the World Golf Hall of Fame with all the players. That little old golf I played was all right, wasn't it?

I didn't push any of my kids into golf, and they played golf because they wanted to.

I like playing a bit of golf. But, if people went around beating people to death with golf clubs, I'd say, 'Ban golf. I'll take up tennis'

Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it.

I hate golf! I still can't believe Alice Cooper plays golf!

Golf's a funny game. You can be playing poorly and then go and win a tournament.

I'm not a golf player. I think golf and fishing are the same, but at the end of the day, you can't fry up and golf ball and dip it in tartar sauce. So I'm a fisherman.

The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.

There are three types of golf: golf, tournament golf and Major championship golf.

If St. Andrews is the home of golf, I think Pebble Beach feels like the home of American golf, like the home of championship golf. It has a real sense of history here.

It's funny that I love golf so much because I'm not usually drawn to things I'm not so good at. It's all about practice and working and not getting discouraged.

I'm really good at mini-golf. You know, maybe not big person golf, but little person golf.

I like going there for golf. America is one vast golf course today.

I found that golf saved me from going to the pub every day, so instead, I play golf with other unemployed actors. I'm a member of the Stage Golfing Society, and I play golf with all sorts of people.

My dad was a big believer of having a golf club that fit me. Always have a golf club that fits you, so you don't have to make any swing compensations for that particular golf club.

I feel the happiest when I'm at the golf course. And I feel calm when I'm on the golf course. I think I'm just a much better person when I'm on the golf course.

I've noticed the sound of the golf ball being hit by the golf club is different, and much more realistic, with the hearing aids. The sound with the hearing aids makes sense, and better represents what I know is happening to the golf ball. So you could say that the hearing aids help give me confidence regarding my golf game.

The funny thing about the golf swing is that you try to alter it and end up with the same faults as you've had all your life.

For golf, being in the Olympics is a big boost. More so for Indian golf.

Golf is a funny game. It's done much for health, and at the same time has ruined people by robbing them of their peace of mind. Look at me, I'm the healthiest idiot in the world.

Golf isn't first on my list anymore. There are a lot of things ahead of golf and I have to go ahead and do those things so I can play golf. I'm tired of hurting. Tired of fighting pain.

There are no absolutes in golf. Golf is such an individual game, and no two people swing alike.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

I love golf clothes. I have a lot of fun with the little golf skirts and vests.

Players need to remember they didn't make golf. Golf made them.

I think I'm really good at forgetting about golf when I'm off the golf course.

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

The funny thing is, last summer we were golfing together, me, him and Alonzo Mourning. I don't know how to golf, but it's an unbelievable opportunity to go out and golf with one of the greats. And he's out there making fun of my swing - I can't hit the ball - and I'm getting frustrated because I'm a competitor. So Alonzo pulled me aside and said, 'Man, you're getting the chance to golf with Bill Russell. How many people can say they've done that?' And I looked at him and said, 'You know what? You're right.'

He knows all the golf lingo. You know? You hit your ball, he's like "there's a golf shot. That's a golf shot." Well of course it's a golf shot; I just hit a golf ball. You don't see Gretzky skating around going "there's a hockey shot, that's a hockey shot."

I enjoy playing golf, but no, I don't think golf helps driving. It does take my mind away from driving, though; every time I play golf, I don't think about Formula 1.

Tiger had the advantage of high school, college, and a father who knew golf. I was self-taught. Blacks really won't play golf in great numbers until some of these basketball and football stars buy some golf courses where blacks can play.

Actually, I love golf clothes! I think this is the most interesting part of golf!

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

I've seen the bottom and I know the difference between good golf and bad golf.

I feel more strongly than ever about this. I would like the professional game freed of golf carts. Golf is a physical game. If we are playing competitive professional golf, we should walk. When I can't walk 18 holes, I'll pack it in.

I've been around golf my whole life. My father did it all the time, and I resented him for it. But a couple years ago I picked up a golf club and I understood the physics of it. If anyone knows anything about golf, it's that once you hit a few shots, you'll become addicted.

Golf is me and buddies out having a good time, but most of all, golf is about me and my dad. Anytime I think of golf, I think about my dad. He taught me how to hit a golf ball, and he got me playing.

To be honest, I'm not a big golf nerd. Golf is kind of boring, not much action.

They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that?

The bigger point here is that golf is a good metaphor for one's life. The challenge of golf for me is trying to learn new rules. It's something you always have to work at; you don't get perfect at golf. It's the never-ending quest for betterment.

In golf, it's almost impossible to be perfect on each shot; that's the fun and challenge of golf.

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

I play golf with my shirttail out. I own a golf course because it's very, very close to my house, and I don't want to drive 45 minutes to the north side of Oklahoma City to play golf every day. I have race horses 'cause I love horses and it's my hobby.