Top 1200 Funny Golf Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

That's what PGA Tour golf is all about. It's a partnership with the community to help people to raise money for charity and to do it using golf as a platform.

I don't follow golf! I don't keep up with golf or know who is coming or going. I am just here to play the game and be done with it.

A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.

I don't play golf. Mark Twain is golf to me.

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

There are no accomplished golf tour operators in Indonesia, so a golf holiday there is a do-it-yourself operation. But don't let that deter you.

I think when I was about 12 or 13, my dad started taking me out to the local golf course, and that's the first time I ever hit a golf ball. I picked it up pretty quickly, just kind of monkey-see, monkey-do. But when I was 12, golf was so slow to me. For me, it was basketball, girls and music.

Golf's my job; it's not my life. It's something I've enjoyed, but I also like to get away from the golf course.

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.

I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things.

High school golf, college golf and the decade that followed all come back to me now as one big raucous, goofy gangsome.

When my mother in Florida mentions that she's off to play golf, I think: Golf? In the age of Trump?

I feel like I've improved at everything I've done every single year - except golf. Golf, I've managed to stay exactly the same.

I definitely haven't shown the world my best golf. I haven't even shown the world great golf, or consistent, great golf.

Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny.

I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards.

I'm really trying to do everything I can to bring golf to people who have never done it before, as well as just make golf fun and cool.

Summer I was 13, my grandfather and my father taught me how to play golf. I took lessons that summer, and I played every day that summer. I probably would've kept playing, except I realized that girls don't watch golf; they watch tennis. So I let my golf game go dormant and started playing tennis.

It's really easy to be funny. You get a lot of funny people in a room, the show is funny.

The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.

I wanted to do work that elevated. Otherwise, it's cheap funny. It's dirty funny. It's degrading funny.

If I played golf, I'd be on the golf course every day, but I just can't wear those dumb pants.

I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.

When I'm not acting, I try to be normal, play golf, play hockey. It's funny because you're in this little bubble when you're working - you don't read books, you don't really keep up with the news, you're just living that life.

I like going there for golf. America's one vast golf course these days.

If you design something pretty with good golf shots in it, then I think that's the combination that creates a really nice golf course.

I was never interested in golf until someone brought up the Get Golf Ready program to me.

One second here and there will make all the difference between something being funny and not being funny. That's why I like going, 'Well, we wrote that six months ago, and it was funny one time we read it, but it's not funny anymore. So what? Just dump it.'

Comedy is just an unspoken language. Everybody understands it. Funny is funny. When it's not funny, they'll let you know.

Pretty early, when I started playing golf, I was compared to Garfield Sobers, who played both cricket and golf.

What's interesting about golf is that most athletes end up gravitating toward golf because it is such a difficult sport.

I like steering kids toward golf. If they really have it in their blood to fight, then fine, but it's a hell of a job. Golf is a safer bet.

Golf didn't seem like it was for everybody. I didn't grow up with a whole lot of money, and my perception was that golf was for a snootier crowd.

When I play my best golf, I feel as if I'm in a fog, standing back watching the earth in orbit with a golf club in my hands.

That word 'funny' always makes me feel uncomfortable. Because if I were trying to be funny, I would be something like Bill Wegman - he really tries to be funny. I don't try to be funny. It's just that I feel the world is a little bit absurd and off-kilter, and I'm sort of reporting.

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny.

I started playing golf when I was a kid, because across the street from where we lived there was a little nine-hole golf course where my father worked.

A golf holiday with the guys is always nice. I'm a bit of a bandit on the golf course because I play with a handicap of 10, but I should be lower than that.

Regardless of what the tour pros think, golf is a rich and varied game, and what all of us awkward fools do on weekends is what golf is truly all about.

I'm a very funny man, so funny comes natural. And if you want to create horror, you need to be funny or campy.

You see a lot of comedic content that's not funny, and you can tell that it's supposed to be funny, but it's actually not funny.

I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me.

Good golf is easier to play-and far more pleasant-than bad golf.

I watch golf on television, although I don't golf - except for visits to the driving range in spurts.

Learning to be your natural self in front of five cameras and a silent studio takes time. Trying to be funny under duress is probably a lot like trying to play golf relaxed under pressure.

Enjoy the game. Happy golf is good golf.

A big part of managing a golf course is managing your swing on the course. A lot of guys can go out and hit a golf ball, but they have no idea how to manage what they do with the ball. I've won as many golf tournaments hitting the ball badly as I have hitting the ball well.

The Masters is one of golf's greatest traditions and Augusta is one of the best courses in the world. They are synonymous. It's an event that every golfer, and golf fan, looks forward to.

I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.

Pete Dye introduced me to golf course design back in the 1960's. He came to my hometown Columbus, Ohio to work on The Golf Club.

As if we don't have enough volence on television. After her husband accidentally hit two spectators with golf balls during a celebrity golf tournament.

I'm obsessed with golf, so I love going to play golf.

I haven't played a full round of golf yet, but I did make two pars my first time out on a golf course.

Mostly I built golf courses the way I played golf, which was left-to-right. But I learned very rapidly that people wanted to see more than just the way I played golf and that I had to balance up what I was doing, right-to-left, left-to-right, etc.

The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.

The mental aspect of golf is what makes golf such a great sport.

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

Ballybunion is the course on which many golf architects should live and play on before they build golf courses.

In golf, you definitely have your ranking. But it's a bit different than tennis. Whenever there's a golf tournament, you feel like almost anyone can win.