Top 1200 Funny Golf Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

My golf is woeful but I will never surrender.

Everybody wishes they were better at golf.

I feel like I'm the Babe Ruth of golf.

Tennis and golf are best played, not watched.

Golf is a game, and games are meant to be enjoyed.

This is one of the most special golf courses in the planet.

As a kid, I really wasn't thinkin' about no golf.

I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf.

I think I definitely like the solitude of golf.

Golf is the Lord's punishment for man's sins.

My golf game is lacking big time.

Golf is a working man's sport in Scotland.

Golf is important to me. I love the game.

Golf is such a wonderful game. I love it to death.

A round of golf is the ideal antidote to stress.

I've been a fan of golf for a long time.

I've always played my best golf in the summer.

It's emotional highs and lows in the game of golf.

As soon as you start to talk about your own mannerisms, you are screwed. Because if you are aware of your own mannerisms, or beyond that even what makes any one thing funny to people, I really ascribe to that that if you start deconstructing it too much, it is immediately not funny.

My manager always preaches golf comes first.

I like trying to win. That's what golf is all about.

I decided I like that mode. It's how I think - it's my voice. I like being funny and sad at the same time, or funny and disturbing at the same time. It's my natural voice.

In golf, as in life, you get out of it what you put into it.

Golf is a bloodless sport-if you don't count ulcers.

Golf may be a hussy, but I love her.

I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course?

There are a lot of hip-hoppers who play golf.

If you like playing basketball, you play basketball. If you like playing golf, you play golf.

Golf will grow so long as it's fun.

I've come to realize that you're going to get criticized no matter what. Somebody will always hate what you write, especially if you write humor for a fairly broad audience. Somebody will always find it not funny and declare you're not funny anymore. And sometimes people are just crazy.

Golf's Holy Grail - a genius course.

I just go out and play golf.

Golf doesn't really have many big guys.

Golf is a better game played downhill.

It is the glorious uncertainty of golf that makes it the game it is.

I came to work one day, and Ricky was playing music on his guitar, just snickering. He played me the riff that turned out to be 'Rock Lobster,' and it was hilarious. He was just trying to be funny. His guitar style made it moodier, and it really is a driving song, but it does have that funny humor to it.

Golf is a game of endless failure and frustration.

Golf was my vehicle to competition, and I can't play if I can't compete.

Golf is deceptively simple and endlessly complicated.

I love playing golf, but it's so freaking hard.

Some people are absolutely funny and you want to wish them Happy Thanksgiving in funniest way possible. Here is the list of Funny Thanksgiving sayings. Just chose the quote you want to wish that person. Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.

I think it's always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare. When I was at school, I was in Hamlet. I played Claudius, who's supposed to be a 60-year-old man, and I was like 18. It's inherently ridiculous seeing 18-year-old boys with gray beards. That's always funny.

"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: "That was a joke!" But he just didn't get it. Mick Jagger said, "F- 'em if they don't get the joke." And I love him. That comes with age: Knowing it's their problem, not mine."

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

I can't live without my family, golf, and football.

I adore the game of golf. I won't ever retire.

Nothing in golf is certain, especially on the PGA Tour.

I like to play snooker, golf as well.

There is nothing in this game of golf that can't be improved upon if you practice.

I want to keep playing good golf.

I have only one goal in golf - to leave it with my sanity.

If I have a day off I will play golf.

I like to play golf, but not at a country club.

Retire to what? I already play golf and fish for a living.

I never conduct business on the golf course.

[On golf:] One of the most distressing defects of civilization.

The U.S. Open is not John Daly's style of golf.

I love going to the Algarve and playing golf.

How can you get tired of playing golf?

I dress differently, I don't conform to what golf is supposed to be.