Top 1200 Funny Golf Quotes & Sayings - Page 4

I have a funny sense of humor. If I was a comedian and I was up on stage, people would think that's funny, because I'm a funny comedian. I'm an entertainer.

When I'm off the golf course, I feel the pressure, but I try to concentrate on the golf course.

It's just my natural way - to be funny. I don't know why that is. But as I've said, humor is a quick cover for shock, horror, confusion. The critics hate funny writers for the most part. They think funny is not serious, but I think that funny can be even more serious than nonfunny. And it can be more affecting, too.

We just became very good friends [with Dwight Eisenhower], we played golf, we played heart exhibitions. Then his doctor said he should not play golf anymore.

Every time you build a golf course, it’s not a golf course when you get there. You have to improvise.

Golf is the ultimate avoidance activity for the dysfunctional dad. A game so nonsensically difficult, so pointless, so irrationally time consuming, the word golf itself can only stand for ‘Get Out, Leave Family.’

I've never set out to write a funny movie or be a funny comedian as a woman. I am a woman. I don't really have a choice in the matter. My goal is just to be funny.

Using TrackMan is very important in the development of your golf game because it gives you such good data on what your golf swing is doing and where it needs to go.

In tennis you move a lot. Golf you dont. In tennis, you can have a bad half-hour, but you cant in golf. You can lose the first set in tennis and still win.

Thing is, I'm a funny actor, but I'm not good at being funny. I'm going to ramble for a second: I'm an actor who can make things funny in the moment, like in stakes or in circumstances or out of character.

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches.

Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.

Dr. Parent has been a great influence on my mental game. ZEN GOLF is the best book at connecting golf and the mind together. It's for everyone, it really helps, and you're really going to enjoy it.

If it's sports and women's golf, men's golf, and it's on TV, I'm watching it. I watched those ladies do what they do at such a high level, and she's obviously a big basketball fan and a fan of ours, too. So it was cool to have that interaction.

Every tournament that I go to, I'll prepare my absolute best to play my best golf. And if my best golf is a Top-10, then so be it.

There's more tension in golf than in boxing because golfers bring it on themselves. It's silly really because it's not as if the golf ball is going to jump up and belt you on the whiskers, is it?

Golf has an ambivalent relationship with the environment. On one hand, it's a great preserver of open spaces. Golf doesn't pave the world - it helps to green the world. But the downside is, it uses a lot of fertilizer, pesticides and water.

In tennis you move a lot. Golf you don't. In tennis, you can have a bad half-hour, but you can't in golf. You can lose the first set in tennis and still win.

It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks.

When you make a mistake, the ocean gives you an instant reminder. You get punished. If golf clubs could shock you every time you hit the ball wrong, we'd probably learn how to play golf pretty well.

You shouldn't worry who gets the funny line, just that you're being funny as a double act. With us, it flips all the time. There's no real straight man or funny man.

Most people say, "I can't wait to retire so I can play golf," or go yachting or whatever they do. Well, if I was playing golf, I would want that to finish so I could go and dream up a new TV show.

I've been playing golf as long as I've been dancing, since I was 13 or 14. I play off six. I like to get out on a golf course as often as I can.

I am not funny. The writers were funny. My directors were funny. The situations were funny… What I am is brave. I have never been scared. Not when I did movies, certainly not when I was a model and not when I did I Love Lucy.

The next time I cry about golf it will only be with joy. It's not worth crying over golf for any other reason. After all, it's only a game.

I don't feel any pressure to be funny at all. I'm funny because I want to be funny. I could sit here and be serious for an hour and you would go away and make me much funnier than I am.

I'm certainly not a saint out there on the golf course. In fact, far from it. Like when you make a three-putt and become upset. I take one step back and remember there are more important things going on in the world than golf.

How much golf I actually play depends on whom you ask. My wife says I'm out there every day. If you ask me, the cricket is getting in the way of the golf.

Well my dad was a pretty good player at one stage and my two older brothers played golf as well. So there were always golf clubs flying around the house.

It takes having your golf peak four different times throughout the year. You have to like all four golf courses. You've got to be the best of that week for the four weeks

In order to hit a good golf shot at that moment in time when you're standing over the ball, you must believe that golf shot is the most important things in your life.

Golf is golf. You hit the ball, you go find it. Then you hit it again.

I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.

I played golf competitively as a teenager. I actually took a year off after high school and just played golf and went to a university in France for maybe a month and dropped out.

There's nothing less funny than somebody trying to be funny. I loved Jack Dee, then I met him and I became the least funny human to exist because of my desperation to say something amusing.

I'm not interested in a film about golf but I am interested in golf as a metaphor.

I look at the world and I find the funny in it, because there's funny in everything. No matter how ugly it may be, there's a funny way to look at it.

It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch lines and captions. Be funny now! And if you're not inspired, they don't care - be funny now! They have to fill that hole the next day.

When I first left the Eagles, I said, 'That's it. I'm going to play golf.' After 10 days, it was like... there has to be more to life! I can still swing a golf club, and don't forget, Les Paul played until he literally passed away.

We raised almost 2 million dollars at the last golf tournament that can be used for minority scholarships and Junior Golf programs. The payoff for the work we do is so much more valuable than the work we actually do for it.

I was a national level golf player. I gave up golf after a while when I wanted to model, as I would tan while playing it. I love watching movies and hanging out with my friends in Delhi.

I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.'

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

You could have all the tools in the world, but if you really don't want to be there, or if there's something that's off course that's playing on your mind... the game of golf is so mental, and if you don't have everything in the right order, it's very difficult to win golf tournaments.

If it isn't funny, it isn't worth mentioning. And if it isn't funny, why, you make it funny!

I love my grandpa so much. I've just spent so many times with him on the golf course. He's watched me play and win so many junior golf tournaments.

Addressing a golf ball would seem to be a simple matter; that is, to the uninitiated who cannot appreciate that a golf ball can hold more terrors than a spacious auditorium packed with people.

But golf being an international game and everybody loving the game the way they do, if you want to spread the game of golf, it's good that you have great competition.

The iconic Doral was once a beacon for the ultimate in luxury golf resorts, and we have fully restored it to its prior grandeur - and then some. Besides the sun, golf, and amazing Latin food, Miami is a city of culture that has something for everyone.

I grew up in a family that played golf, and my brother was much better than me, so I kind of put that aside. I had to be good at something other than golf.

[Simone Weil's] life is almost a perfect blend of the Comic and the Terrible, which two things may be opposite sides of the same coin. In my own experience, everything funny I have written is more terrible than it is funny, or only funny because it is terrible, or only terrible because it is funny.

People started coining the phrase, 'Bubba Golf,' whatever you want to call it, which I like. 'Bubba Golf' is going to be fun. I mean, why do what everybody else does? That's boring.

But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funny - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie.

I've always tried to play golf with a golf club. I have a hard time driving with my rifle. I mean, 18 is really narrow ... I have no problem with the course, except for the tee shot on 18.

I think I knew I was funny in Elementary School. I think most funny people realize it when they're young. It tends to come out of stress or trauma - something that makes you want to be funny.

In golf, you have to stay patient and calm. On the race track you can let loose, but in golf you can't and you must be calm.

I went through in the edits and cut tons of stuff that was "funny" because if it wasn't funny at the time, so it shouldn't be funny now. It's about having that unity of experience. You have to try and take away your hindsight knowledge of a situation.

There are very few sports where you can find that tranquility. Some people find that in golf, but when you're in the water it's such a difference from the golf course or the basketball court. That's what makes surfing unique over any other sport.

A golf course is for golf. A tennis court is for tennis. A prison camp is for escaping.

The socially redeeming aspect of golf lies in the vast number of lawyers and bankers and managers who play it, and when you think of the damage they would do if they were at the job instead, you can see why golf courses are a wise investment for any municipality.