Top 1200 Funny Golf Quotes & Sayings - Page 9

Whether you're old or young or white or black or however, funny is funny, and people want to see those videos.

[In comedy] you never want to leave the actors hanging out to dry. So you need to come up with funny individual stories for each character, and then you do this sort of comedy geometry, weaving them together. Once you've got a funny structure and you know why the scenes are funny, then you get super funny people to say your own lines, say their own lines, say things in their own way, and every scene is a live rewrite in front of the camera.

I opened the door. He looked down at my shirt and smiled. "Funny," he said. "Don't call my boobs funny," I answered.

In order for comedy to be funny you have to play the truth of the moment. But if you're not being completely truthful to the basis of the character, its not going to be funny.

If you're thinking clearly and are content about where your life is - to where you can just think about the present, think about the now - that's what you need to do to hit good golf shots. I know there are a lot of distractions, but when you're thinking clearly, you're more free. You've got to have that freedom on the golf course.

I'll just talk and talk for an hour, an hour and half, until funny things come out of my mouth - often things that I don't think will be funny, often things that I just thought were sentences, turn out to be funny, because they're the sentences of an idiot. There's level of self-awareness that develops, and I write down things that were funny, usually when I'm on stage, and that becomes the show.

There are things that I won't joke about, but it's not because I don't think they're funny or they can't be made funny. It's just that they don't fit my particular skill set.

Peyton Manning is funny, hence the 'Saturday Night Live'; you see him in his commercials. He's funny.

Music can be witty, but it's not funny unless it's conceptually funny.

Trying to be funny is arguably the least funny thing you can do.

Audience laughter, when it's deserved, acts as a sort of fairy dust that makes funny moments not just funny, but joyous.

I remember Tucker Toomey was named so because "T's are funny!" And if Garry Marshall says it's funny, by god, it must be so.

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny

I don't really hashtag things. Unless I'm talking to somebody and I'm being funny and I say something mean but then I'm like, Hashtag...something that's funny. I like to only hashtag funny things, not real stuff.

I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown?

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny.

You can't teach somebody how to be funny. You're either funny, or you ain't.

Especially with comedy, you take massive risks because ultimately you're trying to be funny. If you're not funny, then it's really embarrassing and you look stupid.

I don't want to be a facilitator for other funny people. It doesn't seem smart for me to be in a comedy and not be funny. My spirit can't take it.

I can only think of a handful of artists that can make a funny painting or a funny sculpture without it feeling coined in someway.

I was never funny. I'd be funny once a year at Christmas. I'd do impressions of how people talked and danced, but that stopped when I was about 11.

I never think I want to try to be funny. And humor, if there is anything funny, should come from a real place.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

My job changes very little because I've found that the more you try to be funny, the less funny you become.

Golf giveth and golf taketh away. But it taketh away a hell of a lot more than it giveth.

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not.

Optimism isnt funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. Its exaggeration.

When I'm with other people who inspire my silliness or sense of humor, I'm funny. When I sit down to write, it's hard not to be funny.

It's harder when people are playing along, because it's just not as funny. They're trying to be funny, and it sort of cancels out the whole joke.

A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever.

The rumor is that when I was younger, I didn't like to sweat and I didn't like to run, and both of those things are kind of important in tennis. I was introduced to a lot of sports as a child: I did gymnastics, figure skating, tennis and golf, and I dabbled a little bit in ballet. I just never fell in love with tennis the way I did with golf.

It's funny what funny is, because everyone's style is so different.

When people are funny, I like to let them know that they're funny. There's so much negativity, it's cool to get some positivity out there.

He's never portrayed as being funny. He was a very funny, happy, lively person. Fun to be around and exciting. He was my hero.

Trying to be funny is one of the hardest things on the planet. I think that's tough for everyone. If you're just naturally funny it's a hell of a lot easier.

I think there's something in the fact that it's hard to be good looking and funny. You have to have an oddball quality; people have to sympathise with you to find you funny.

Writing is such lonely work that I try to keep myself cheered up. If something strikes me as funny in the act of writing, I throw it in just to amuse myself. If I think it's funny I assume a few other people will find it funny, and that seems to me to be a good day's work.

I do jokes about what's funny, and both sides are funny.

I was always funny, but I didn't know being funny was a gift.

I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.

I love to play it. I think it's funny. It's always been funny to me. Somebody who's large and in charge but totally wrong-headed.

I don't have this weird, natural funny bone that constantly comes out. It's not like my every instinct is to be funny, and I'm always having to dampen that down.

Baseball players quit playing and they take up golf. Basketball players quit, take up golf. Football players quit, take up golf. What are we supposed to take up when we quit?

I don't come from Lake Wobegon, and that world is not mine. It's not that funny to me. It's funny to other people, and I'm not judging it, but the world that I come from is not considered funny by other people as well. There's so much pain in it.

Years ago, children helped my brother search for his lost ball at Jackson Park Golf Course in Chicago - and even offered to sell it back to him on the next tee. That entrepreneurial spirit, on the site of the 1893 World's Fair - which introduced Cracker Jacks to the United States - exemplifies America, to say nothing of American public golf.

Making modern games funny would be easy as pie if it was anybody's goal to actually make a funny game.

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown

It's one thing to be funny in a tweet. It is another to be funny for an hour.

There are some situations in life that are simply not funny, and there's nothing funny about them, but they're rare, and they don't last all that long.

Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny.

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown.

I wasnt particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

I love 'Saturday Night Live,' and it's such a funny show. I don't know if I'm funny enough to be on it but definitely would be interested in doing it.

I knew what I was getting into when I chose golf. Hell, I knew I'd never get rich and famous. All the discrimination, the not being able to play where I deserved and wanted to play - in the end, I didn't give a damn. I was made for a tough life because I'm a tough man. And in the end, I won: I got a lot of black people playing golf.

It's not always easy to go from funny on the page to funny on the screen.

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

If you are really serious about playing golf and playing good golf, stick to the basic fundamentals. Sure, there's going to be a little change here and a change there, but you don't want to make them. You want to stick to the things that you started with, and you learned, and you know how to apply them.

I was very lucky because hanging out at a golf course was much better than being on the streets. Golf taught me a great deal. I grew up surrounded by people who were professionals - lawyers, doctors, engineers. Around them, I learned how to behave, speak, eat, dress. I had nothing at home. The club was my home.

If you keep yourself alive and current, funny is funny.