Top 1200 Funny Happy New Year Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since.

I didn't graduate. I was doing theater in Michigan the summer after my junior year and just moved on to New York.

If you are really feeling happy, you are feeling happy even if the whole world contradicts you. If the whole world agrees that you are not happy, then too it doesn't matter. Your happiness is real. It cannot be canceled by anybody's opinion. But if your happiness is unreal, it can be canceled by anybody. Even a small child can cancel it. You will be constantly looking towards people. You will be smiling, trying to show that you are happy so that they can say, 'Yes. You are very happy. You look very happy.'

It wouldn't be New Year's without a resolution. I've resolved to take a moment every day for the rest of my life to appreciate what I have.

It is now common knowledge that the average American gains 7 pounds between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.

George Lopez is always on the verge of hilarity. If he could ever think of something funny to say, if he had a funny thought in his mind, he's ready to go.

The last time I saw Elvis was when I played my second New Year's Eve show for him in 1970.

Taking a year off and going to school was the best thing I could have done after 'The Princess Diaries.' It taught me that I don't need Hollywood or a job to make me happy.

... No one is less happy than I am with the performance of Microsoft stock! I've lost tens of billions of dollars this year - if you check, you'll see that's more than most people make in a lifetime!

This satire business, that was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. I was certified funny. From then on, I had to be funny - people expected it. Twice the work for the same pay.

Let our New Year's resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.

There are no happy endings. Endings are the saddest part, So just give me a happy middle And a very happy start.

'Tammy,' the new movie starring, produced, and co-written by Melissa McCarthy, could be an artifact from some alternate universe: the creatures there resemble Earthlings but have an entirely different and debased idea of what's funny.

A lot of people, they think, 'Oh, I'm only going to be happy when I find a special person who is going to make me happy.' No. In life, you have to be happy with yourself first, number one.

You cannot plan for the Champions League: the competitors are always overwhelming. It is a big new challenge every year.

I used to travel 200 days of the year. I had to calm it down because I have a 17-year-old daughter going on 30, and a 23-year-old son. I want to be around for them.

The year 2015 was a year of gigantic struggle, which is adorned with meaningful events and eye-opening successes, a year of victory and glory, in which socialist Korea fully demonstrated its prestige and might.

What would be a perfect day for me? I'd like to fly the Millennium Falcon to a small café outside of Vienna, and there's a PlayStation 3 or an XBox set up there. The family is there, and there would be brand new Star Wars Lego sets so my seven-year-old and four-year-old would be the happiest people on earth. My wife could get a massage and manicure/pedicure. Oh, and pork is being fed to us all day.

The best thing about the New Year is your 4.90 ERA disappears and starts back at zero.

Three high schools. I was funny. I thought I was being funny. I just had an opinion about everything that was said in school, so that got me thrown out.

It's so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always moving. I had to meet new people all the time. And they'd laugh.

I always loved playing in New York, where the Yankees fans expect a winning team every year.

By the new year of 1994, it had grown up into Inform 4 and could produce games twice as large.

Listening to A. R. Rahman as a five-year-old opened my mind to a whole new set of creative dimensions.

One of the things that is always difficult about a collaboration is that you don't necessarily find the same thing funny. And so the challenge becomes, how do you tell the other person that you don't think something's funny? The best collaborations tend to be when you are willing to be told that. But there's also ego involved, and so there's a lot of frustration in knowing that you're writing something, and the other person, on some level, needs to think that it's funny.

My wife is funny. And I dabble in it. So being funny is big around our house. But what's surprised me is my daughter can do an English accent. I don't know how she learned this.

My first year, people were interested in me because I was new. Then the press started to come.

I lived in New York for maybe a year and a half, from '95 to '97, but I live in Dallas. My whole family is there.

The liturgical year is the year that sets out to attune the life of the Christian to the life of Jesus, the Christ. It proposes, year after year, to immerse us over and over again into the sense and substance of the Christian life until, eventually we become what we say we are - followers of Jesus all the way to the heart of God

Once, as my New Year's Resolution, I telephoned the Extenze Male Enhancement hotline every day for a month.

So every year when Christmas comes, I realize a new, the best gift life can offer is having friends like you.

Once publishers got interested in it, it was a year in developing, and it was launched, I think, in 1960. But Willie Lumpkin didn't last long - it only last a little better than a year, maybe a year and a half.

My New Year's style resolution is to buy and wear more clothing that is handmade by artisans or eco-friendly.

For those in America, ITV is the biggest channel in the UK and they are getting wrestling on that station on New Year's Eve.

Donald Trump is happiest when he's with his family and that's his - that - that really is a happy place for him to be with his family. And so he's very generous, very kind, funny, compassionate.

The truth of it is that people are not going to want to go to improvisational theater if it's not funny. You can succeed in doing all the things you're supposed to do - be truthful to scene - and if it's not funny, I'm telling you that no one's gonna care.

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.

If you go out and see a lot of movies in a given year, it's really hard to come up with a top ten, because you saw a lot of stuff that you liked. A top 20 is easier. You probably get one masterpiece a year, and I don't think you should expect more than one masterpiece a year, except in a really great year.

Do not be content with the old anointing. It is essential to a more holy and happy life...that you seek to be anointed with new oil. Do not be satisfied with past experiences. [...] Seek to have a new revelation of Christ to your soul. Seek the renewed application of His precious blood to your conscience. Oh, seek the fresh oil!

I like Strahan a lot. I've known him for years. He was a Giant here - in many ways. Had a big following with the New York Giants. He's very funny. He's got a great sense of humor.

Well, I don't think just because people are in a relationship that they're happy. I don't think relationships necessarily make people happy. You just are happy or you're not happy.

Today, we're taking a break from the concerns and the bustle of the work-a-day world. But we're also making a new beginning. As we gather around our dining room tables for the midday meal, let us thank God for life and the blessings He's put before us. High among them are our families, our freedom, and the opportunities of a new year.

I am just coming into my best years. This year I did new things; stretching and abdominal work.

My New Year's Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.

Wrestling promotions are kind of like new religions - nine out of 10 fail in the first year.

I've always felt like the most improvement you can make is from year 1 to year 2, much like a college freshman who the most improvement he can make in an entire one year of college football is going from year 1 freshman year to his sophomore year. Like a pro football player going from his rookie season to his second season. There's a window there that will never come again that you have a chance to making your biggest strides.

As proud as we are of this city and as extraordinary as it is, all of south Louisiana and all of the Gulf Coast is a very special place, and the federal government has underinvested in it year after year after year, whether it's education or health care.

January is the beginning of a new year for us in the Western world. Let us give to God what belongs to him: the first hours of our day, the first month of the year, the first of our increase, the first in every area of our life. It's devoted... The principle of first fruits is that when you give God the first, he governs the rest and redeems in.

My new year's resolution: Never be afraid to be kicked in the teeth. Let the blood and the bruises define your legacy.

I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.

It is our basic right to be a happy person, happy family, and eventually a happy world. That should be our goal.

I think everyone is born funny. Sadly, some lives beat it out of them. I don't know what allows someone to keep being funny and actually make a career of it.

My mother loved entertaining, and I've followed suit, so we have big celebrations for New Year, Passover, Thanksgiving and birthdays.

I am originally from Florida. So Thanksgiving was always something I really looked forward to, because I got to travel back home every year and see everyone all at once, around one big happy table.

When I went into the seminary, I was one of those victims of New Math and had not had Algebra I and had no idea what we were doing in New Math in the ninth grade. But when I went into the seminary, they had gone the traditional route and taught first-year algebra.

I love New York, but being there the whole year, it gets a little crazy with the speed and rhythm of things.

Dept. of Speculation is gorgeous, funny, a profound and profoundly moving work of art. Jenny Offill is a master of form and feeling, and she gets life on the page in new, startling ways.

I do probably 60 concerts a year in the States. And I go out to clubs in the week. I'm doing new stuff all the time.

Prior to 2015, I had kind of approached every year like, 'Let's hope for the best.' I always made these year-end videos with 100 things I did, and it would kind of build itself up throughout the year. When this year started, it was like I knew the 100 things before I even got to do them.