Top 1200 Funny Parent Quotes & Sayings

One second here and there will make all the difference between something being funny and not being funny. That's why I like going, 'Well, we wrote that six months ago, and it was funny one time we read it, but it's not funny anymore. So what? Just dump it.'

Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?" "Funny haha or funny strange?" James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'" "Ah. Funny strange" James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

The fewer words a parent uses, the more aurhoritative the parent sounds & the clearer the instruction.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

A conscious parent is not one who seeks to fix her child or seek to produce or create the 'perfect' child. This is not about perfection. The conscious parent understands that is journey has been undertaken, this child has been called forth to 'raise the parent' itself. To show the parent where the parent has yet to grow. This is why we call our children into our lives.

When your parent is a public idol, you never really have a chance to lay that parent to rest.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Being a parent is not just about how you treat your child; it's also about how you treat the other parent. If you treat that person with respect, that's fine, that's the way to go. But if you don't, you're not being the parent you could be.

Any parent knows how to be the ideal parent.

I love being a parent, and when I'm gone even 2 1/2 days for a tournament, I'm forcing Janna to be a single parent.

If you're the parent, be a parent. You know what I mean? I'm a parent. I have daughters.

I married an excellent parent, but I'm not sure that I've made a great parent.

Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny.

Anyone who loses a parent, you have to find those parts of yourself that your parent held true in themselves, especially if they're supportive parents.

I'm a parent, and I regulate what my kids listen to. I don't need the government to be the parent. If I'm a crappy parent, then I need the government involved.

I'm not offended. Lenny Bruce taught me that everything's funny. You can make everything funny. I don't think that assassinations are funny, I don't think you can make fun of ISIS, but almost everything is funny. And If we can't laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at? So I don't mind ethnic humor. I like ethnic humor. I like dialect jokes. Laughter is a very subjective thing. If it's funny to you it's funny. And a lot of things are funny to me.

In my family, there was one parent you asked for money and the other for permission to do things. You could never get both out of one parent.

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

When my dad was in Vietnam, we lost a parent for a year. Thank God we didn't lose a parent for good.

That word 'funny' always makes me feel uncomfortable. Because if I were trying to be funny, I would be something like Bill Wegman - he really tries to be funny. I don't try to be funny. It's just that I feel the world is a little bit absurd and off-kilter, and I'm sort of reporting.

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

The traditional paradigm of parenting has been very hierarchical, the parent knows best and very top down. Conscious parenting topples [this paradigm] on its head and creates this mutuality, this circularity where both parent and child serve each other and where in fact, perhaps, the child could be even more of a guru for the parent .... teaching the parent how the parent needs to grow, teaching the parent how to enter the present moment like only children know how to do.

There are times as a parent when you realize that your job is not to be the parent you always imagined you'd be, the parent you always wished you had. Your job is to be the parent your child needs, given the particulars of his or her own life and nature.

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

Sensibility of mind is indeed the parent of every virtue, but it is the parent of much misery, too.

I have 4 kids already, I don’t need anymore. I’m a single parent. I’m taking them through Europe and make them play funny instruments.

All the time a person is a child he is both a child and learning to be a parent. After he becomes a parent he becomes predominantly a parent reliving childhood.

I'm a very funny man, so funny comes natural. And if you want to create horror, you need to be funny or campy.

To be a good enough parent one must be able to feel secure in one's parenthood, and one's relation to one's child...The security of the parent about being a parent will eventually become the source of the child's feeling secure about himself.

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

We all know that I failed as a parent. I'll be a way better grandparent than I was a parent, and that's how I would rather leave that.

The greatest gift a parent can leave a child is that parent's own independence.

You'll never be a perfect parent, but you can be a praying parent. Prayer is your highest privilege as a parent. ...Prayer turns ordinary parents into prophets who shape the destinies of their children, grandchildren, and every generation that follows. ...Your prayers for your children are the greatest legacy you can leave.

As a parent, I can get so frustrated. Any parent can!

Visitation reflects the era of the absentee father; parent time influences the re-emergence of the involved father. Visitation reflects the destruction of the family; parent time influences the reconstruction of the family. Parent time influences an era that understands that as either parent loses, so lose the children.

I have less energy than I did when I was a younger parent, although I was never really a young parent.

I thought my family was really funny. Everybody in my family was funny. My mom and dad both have great senses of humor and really saw the funny in stuff, so I think that's probably where it came from. I always try to see the funny in things.

Does any new parent, even if you're not a first-time parent, ever really know what to do?

I'd definitely be the kind of parent who enabled my child's dreams. I'd just watch and nurture and guide them. I have the blueprints of what not to do... I think I'd be a good parent, actually.

I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me.

You'll never be a perfect parent, but you can be a praying parent.

You don't have to do everything right as a parent, but there is one thing you cannot afford to get wrong. That one thing is prayer. You'll never be a perfect parent, but you can be a praying parent. Prayer is your highest privilege as a parent. There is nothing you can do that will have a higher return on investment. In fact, the dividends are eternal.

What I continue to learn as a parent is to be mindful of the fact that I am responsible for being the parent that my children need me to be and not necessarily the parent I want to be.

I don't think America knows what a gay parent looks like. I am the gay parent. America has watched me parent my children on TV for six years. They know what kind of parent I am.

Life and the universe compare to each other like a child and a parent, parent and offspring.

I'm a conscious parent when I believe... a parent's presence in their child's life is of paramount value and provides the foundation for their sense of worth.

This is probably one of the most difficult challenges any parent could face - learning to love the other parent enough to make the children first.

Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it.

I think any parent, at some time or other, has thoughts of their child dying. That's probably one of the worst things that could ever happen to a parent.

The line between being a nurturing parent and an over-bearing, damaging parent is one that's very delicate.

Any child who has lost a parent probably knows every single photograph in existence of that parent.

I think if you're a 'tiger parent' early on, you don't need to be a 'helicopter parent' in high school.

Once you're a parent, male or female, every single thing that happens in your life is seen through the prism of being a parent.

I was a solo parent. Not a single parent as far as I was concerned. Single parent implies that the other parent is around somewhere.

The abduction of a child is a tragedy. No one can fully understand or appreciate what a parent goes through at such a time, unless they have faced a similar tragedy. Every parent responds differently. Each parent copes with this nightmare in the best way he or she knows how.

I moved to New York to do theater, and I got cast in a play that was funny, and then I was the funny guy. I did a movie that was funny, and then I was the funny guy.

By default I am the good parent. I've used my own personal experience. I came from a world where I was in need and starving for the good parent, so it's like I'm bringing my own persona issues into that. I am the parent that I always wanted to have; that's how I look at my role.

When you don't have a laugh track, you can make the clothes funny. We can make a sign funny. We can make the way somebody walks funny. The makeup can be funny.