Top 1200 Funny Single Valentines Day Quotes & Sayings

As the most romantic day of the year approaches, and as a brand that is uniquely male, we wanted to find out how men really feel about Valentines Day, and how they want to celebrate it. The Johnnie Walker Blue Label Luxury Survey tells us what gifts men really want versus what gifts women think men want for Valentine's Day - and the reality is that we're not as far apart as we like to think.

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

I have many valentines. My mom and my sister and my directors. I got calls from all of them. And my friends. I respect what Valentine's Day stands for because it is about love.

It's a fun job, but it's stressful because you have to be funny. You have to have punch lines and captions. Be funny now! And if you're not inspired, they don't care - be funny now! They have to fill that hole the next day.

You can't take a single day for granted in the National Football League. Every single day, you need to earn your spot on the roster.

Can we drop the pretense of Presidents Day and just call it I needed a long weekend because Valentines Day is garbage

I think that everybody has hard work side, no matter what your job is, you have bad days, you have people you don't get along with. The thing about modeling is every single day you're working with a completely new team so every single day is your first day of work or your first day of school. And you can't really have an off day because that will be the only experience they have with you.

I have many valentines. My mom and my sister and my directors. I got calls from all of them. And my friends. I respect what Valentine's Day stands for because it is about love

What is Valentines? Is it a restaurant name?

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

My goal is to attack every single day and get better every single day. The rest of the stuff will take care of itself.

You feel like telling him you're not single in the way that he thinks you're single. After all, you have yourself. I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you're not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture.

Every single second of every single day... I don't know if I feel like a bad mom, but at the end of the day I'm always plagued with, 'Did I do enough? Should I go in a different direction?'

On all the walls, wherever walls exist, I will inscribe this eternal indictment of Christianity--I have letters to make even blindmen see.... I call Christianity the single great curse, the single great innermost depravity, the single great instinct of revenge, for which no means is poisonous, secretive, subterranean, small enough--I call it mankind's single immortal blemish.... And we reckon time from the dies nefastus with which this calamity arose--following Christianity's first day!--Why not following its last day, instead?--Following today?--Transvaluation of all values!

Every single team that I've played for, every single person would tell you that I've given it everything every single day.

Representative Chris Lee was forced to resign after sending a shirtless picture of himself to a woman on Craigslist. On the bright side, he DID surprise his wife for Valentines Day.

Nothing is given to you. Everything is earned. You have to have that mindset that you have to work every single day. Learn every single day.

Valentines Day is being marketed as a Date Movie. I think its more of a First-Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date.

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.

I like Valentine's Day for the kids. You know, they take their valentines to school and I like to see what they come home with.

It's crazy because people expect you to be funny all the time and every day is not a funny day. I go to funerals and people are like 'tell a joke' and 'say one of your lines in a movie.' It's a funeral, man!

I was in a band called the valentines and they broke up last week.

On paper curiously shaped Scribblers to-day of every sort, In verses Valentines ycled'd To Venus chime their annual court. I too will swell the motley throng, And greet the all auspicious day, Whose privilege permits my song My love this secret to convey.

I usually spend Valentines Day with my friends. But if I did have a girlfriend, I'd bring her flowers and candy.

It's in our own lives, every single day, whether we recognize it as funny at the moment or not.

I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

Time is a funny thing. I was always puzzled with the way a single day could stretch itself out to the point of eternity in your mind, all while years melted down into the fraction of a second.

In the language of poetry, where every word is weighed, nothing is usual or normal. Not a single stone and not a single cloud above it. Not a single day and not a single night after it. And above all, not a single existence, not anyone's existence in this world.

People call it Valentines Day, I call it Tuesday.

One thing I know for sure about raising children is that every single day a kid needs discipline.... But also every single day a kid needs a break.

I like doing something romantic with a girl on Valentines Day, like making her dinner and keeping it simple. The more quality time, the better.

Valentines day are coming up and a German company has made chokolate in shapes of couples making love. I don't like them... I don't want my chokolate to have more fun than me.

If you want to get in shape, go to the #? gym every single day, change your clothes and take a shower. If you can do that every single day for a month, pretty soon you'll start doing something while you're there.

Happy Valentines Day to those who have found love, in whatever shape or form, and to those who are still hunting, don't give up. If you feel bad, send yourself a card. You must be worth it.

There's nothing you can take for granted; not a single day, not a single minute, not a single relationship.

The public wants to understand and learn in a single day, a single minute, what the artist has spent years learning.

I've loved Kevin McDonald's movies for a while and it was an amazing experience because he really wanted to do something different. It was by far one of the hardest things I've ever done, to wake up every single day and know that you're going to be freezing cold and wet, every single day, 10 times a day, and there's no getting away from it.

My big brother Ryan was funny and unfailingly kind. He was one of the most talented musicians you might encounte, and had a prodigious ability to pick up any instrument and play it by ear within the span of a single day.

And the people I have been accountable to every single day in the Senate are the 27 million Texans who I represent and I made a promise to them that I make to you today, which is, if I am elected, every single day I will do two things: tell the truth, and do what I said I would do.

Security guys break the Mac every single day. Every single day, they come out with a total exploit, your machine can be taken over totally.

I dreamed I was a single moment in a single day. A note struck and vanished. A sounding. A reckoning. Gone.

If you're hired to be a funny person, you have to trust your judgment but also be open because sometimes you think something's funny, and the next day you read it and go, 'Oh, my God.'

Every day Americans and their families need a champion, a champion who will fight for them every single day. And I want to be that champion. I want to get up every single day going to work for you, standing up for you.

My cards and flowers always got rejected on Valentines Day.

Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.

I don't really think of Valentines Day as much of a holiday, you should show love for people you care about everyday.

If a retainer will just think about what he is to do for the day at hand, he will be able to do anything. If it is a single day's work, one should be able to put up with it. Tomorrow, too is but a single day.

There are tens of thousands of interactions every single day across Afghanistan between the Afghan troops and International Security Assistance Force. On most of those, every single day we continue to deepen and broaden the relationship we seek.

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

Every single day since Day 1, to Day 2, to Day 3, to Day 4, to Day 5, to Day 6, to Day 7 to Day 8, whatever day it is now, I've gotten better.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Security guys break the Mac every single day. Every single day, they come out with a total exploit; your machine can be taken over totally.

I'm trying to change theater, in my own way - not just magic. I say that humbly, because I'm learning every single day. I do 15 shows a week, and every single audience I have is like a test screening for you, when you listen and go, "Really? They laughed at that?" All over the stage I have lines, written onstage, that I'm changing every single day.

I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!

The reason I was able to grow my business was that every day, after producing 30 minutes of wine television, I spent 15 hours a day replying to every single person's e-mail and every single person's Twitter @ reply.

Valentines Day is a day we celebrate real love. A love so strong that two hearts become one. Yeah, when you're happy, she's happy. And when you're angry, she's angry. And when you start wallowing in self-pity because your hotrod shop tanks and everybody's against you so you start drinking. And then she moves out and goes and lives with her parents, pfft. Or was that the day after Valentines Day? Doesn't matter. I'll go get another one just like her.

Valentines Day itself, like most holidays in the modern era, has been heavily influenced by commercialism that focuses on the appeal of romantic fantasies.

Right now I'm just single, but I'm really looking forward to the day when I'm happily single.

Valentines Day is the day we celebrate real love. A love so strong that two hearts become one. And when she's happy, you're happy. And when she's angry, you can still choose to be happy, 'cos, what's her deal ? You know, I'm happy. Why is she bringing me down, you know ? Oh great, now look, I'm getting all mad. I hope she's happy. Happy Valentine's Day.

Every single day was an opportunity for me to be on the field, if I was starting, playing or not playing, every single day I came out here ready to work.