Top 1200 Funny Veterans Day Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

If you want to look at a purely socialized health care, you would have to go to the United States, where we have it. In particular, that's the system we reserve for our veterans. So if I hear politicians run down socialized medicine - and I have done that before the Congress - I say: Do you hate your veterans? Why do you reserve purely socialized medicine - there's only the U.S. and Cuba that have that - for the veterans? So getting the terms right would be very, very helpful in our national conversation on health reform.

Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it.

Our veterans are not being treated well. Our veterans, in many cases, are being treated worse than illegal immigrants, people that come into our country illegally. Our veterans are not being treated well. And, by the way, Hillary Clinton has been doing this for 35 years. Now she says she can do it? She doesn't have a clue.

Writing is such lonely work that I try to keep myself cheered up. If something strikes me as funny in the act of writing, I throw it in just to amuse myself. If I think it's funny I assume a few other people will find it funny, and that seems to me to be a good day's work.

If you're hired to be a funny person, you have to trust your judgment but also be open because sometimes you think something's funny, and the next day you read it and go, 'Oh, my God.'

Our greatest privilege and responsibility as leaders of the House Committee on Veterans' Affairs is to provide our veterans with a system that cares for their wounds and ensures that they have an opportunity to succeed.

The University of Southern California has a wonderful social work department, and I was thrilled to find out that they have a whole veterans' initiative program there. They approached me, and I set up a scholarship that would go to a military-oriented person to learn techniques and skills to better help veterans.

To the Cold War veterans here, know that your steadfast efforts preserved a delicate balance, and, because of you, the global war that many feared never came to pass. We are thankful for you, as we are for all the veterans here with us.

People understand the tremendous sacrifices that veterans have made - and they instinctively want to do something for them. And that sometimes leads people to give veterans an excuse: Oh, you didn't show up for work on time. It must be that you have posttraumatic stress disorder. Oh, you're disabled. Don't even try.

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different.

How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.

I am super proud of being an American, but we fail our veterans every day.

"America's Cold War veterans deserve every honor we can bestow upon them for their hard work and dedication to keeping our nation safe,". "The Cold War Service Medal would allow military service members, veterans, and their families to receive the recognition and honor they rightfully deserve. I will continue to work with my colleagues to ensure our veterans receive the support and care they and their families need. It's the least we can do as a grateful nation."

I played Miley Cyrus' grandma on 'Hannah Montana,' and the first time I was on, they said, 'We love having veterans like you on because she's like a little sponge, and she's really appreciative of all the veterans that are coming on the show, and we just love that you're teaching her.'

You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.

Humor has historically been tied to the mores of the day. The Yellow Kid was predicated on what people thought was funny about the immigrant Irish. When you're different in a society, you're funny.

In Congress, while the House’s proposed defense budget calls for significant increases, it also cuts 11 billion dollars from veterans spending - including healthcare and disability pay. Be clear: we can’t equate spending on veterans with spending on defense.

When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'

I put the Vietnam War behind me a long time ago, and what I wanted to (do) among other things was help veterans also be able to come all the way home as some of our veterans have not been able to do. But I harbor no anger nor rancor. I'm a better man for my experience, and I'm grateful for having the opportunity of serving.

I hope that on Veterans Day people think about those who protect us from the evils out there.

Well, look at what people are doing for returned veterans now. The wounded warriors. They're working hard to make the wounded veterans feel that they are loved and welcomed home, unlike Vietnam. It was not a very kind, gentle world then. I think we are kinder and gentler.

Veterans Day is a time to reflect and renew our commitment to ensure our military heroes have the tools to reintegrate successfully back to civilian life.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Veterans are especially appealing candidates in key swing districts. Veterans have credibility, not just with Democrats but with independents and Republicans as well. They're the kind of people respected for their leadership, not just their politics.

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

It is unacceptable that disabled veterans in Illinois rank at the bottom of the list when it comes to disability pay. We owe our disabled veterans more than speeches, parades and monuments.

On Veterans Day, we take time to honor those men and women who bravely serve and have served our nation in the U.S. Armed Forces.

Twenty-two suicides a day from our veterans. Do you believe that number? Twenty-two a day.

I cry all the time. Remembrance Day in particular. In fact, anything to do with veterans makes me sob.

When Sarah Palin goes out and says this [about her son] is because of this [ post- traumatic stress disorder], it`s actually not because of this. And now it sort of gives the idea that all veterans are going to pick up a weapon and shoot somebody, or all veterans are going to hit somebody.

The need for this clinic is clear to me, to the veterans who are currently forced to travel hours to receive care, and even to the Veterans Administration that itself identified creation of a clinic in this part of our state as a priority to be completed by 2006.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

In Congress, while the House's proposed defense budget calls for significant increases, it also cuts 11 billion dollars from veterans spending - including healthcare and disability pay. Be clear: we can't equate spending on veterans with spending on defense.

As a former veteran, I understand the needs of veterans, and have been clear - we will work together, stand together with the Administration, but we will also question their policies when they shortchange veterans and military retirees.

To honor our national promise to our veterans, we must continue to improve services for our men and women in uniform today and provide long overdue benefits for the veterans and military retirees who have already served.

My approach to public service is straightforward: I fight every day for New Jersey families, small businesses, veterans, and seniors and work to change the way business is done in Washington.

For veterans that have exhausted other options, access to HBOT treatment could be a lifeline to seeing another day. We have nothing to lose, but we do have lives to save.

In fact, our monthly trade deficit figure is so huge it equals the entire annual budget of our Department of Veterans Affairs. Veterans fought to make us free from foreign tyranny, but the new tyranny is taking a different form.

I know the veterans. I know them well. And I know that they know that I'll take care of them. And I've been proud of their support and their recognition of my service to the veterans.

I think what's happening with the veterans is a gift from God to show us what happens when you take layers and layers of bureaucracy and place them between the patients and the health care provider. And if we can't get it right, with the relatively small number of veterans, how in the world are you going to do it with the entire population?

[Veterans] have been treated very badly.That includes - veterans' choice so veterans can either attend a public V.A. facility or if they have to wait online like they've been doing, sometimes for as much as seven days and then still not get proper care, they'll go to a private medical center or they'll go to a private or public or something, they will go outside .they'll go to a private doctor, they'll go to a private hospital, they'll go to a public hospital. We're going to get them care and we're going to pay for their - that care.

As a veteran myself, I care a great deal about the quality of care our veterans receive at the Veterans Homes in our state and have raised an alarm bell more than once when I felt we as a state weren't meeting the standard of care I believe they are owed.

One second here and there will make all the difference between something being funny and not being funny. That's why I like going, 'Well, we wrote that six months ago, and it was funny one time we read it, but it's not funny anymore. So what? Just dump it.'

When the Veterans Affairs Department implemented a program to provide home-based health care to veterans with multiple chronic conditions - many of the system's most expensive patients to treat - they received astounding results.

When the Veterans Affairs Department implemented a program to provide home-based health care to veterans with multiple chronic conditions - many of the systems most expensive patients to treat - they received astounding results.

I'm just the least funny person in a room full of funny people, which is basically every single day of work for me.

I'm definitely in the market for being uncool. There was some funny stuff, like the thing about making sure I show people that I have tattoos and cigarettes so that they know I'm badass. But really, I do have tattoos! And I do smoke cigarettes sometimes, and I can't change that. But I am not badass, by any means. I do some stuff that's tongue-in-cheek, and some stuff that's on the line. And it could be funny, it could be serious, and I never even know myself, because it could be funny that day, and the next day it's totally embarrassing.

Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?" "Funny haha or funny strange?" James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'" "Ah. Funny strange" James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one

I wake up every day and look at my own ugly mug in the mirror and don't think twice about it. The fact that other people might want to look at me still feels funny. It's flattering, but funny.

Veterans Day is a time to celebrate the men and women who have worn this nation's uniform and to honor their service.

To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor makes him attractive. On the other hand, you don't hear men saying, 'No she's not pretty, but is she ever funny!'

Veterans have had a long record of leaning towards the Republican Party. I think that's changing. I think that President Obama has the strongest record with veterans among any president in my lifetime.

You know what? At the end of the day, funny is funny. I hope to see the end of all the female cliches that are written in a lot of comedies that are named chick flicks.

Honoring the sacrifices many have made for our country in the name of freedom and democracy is the very foundation of Veterans Day.

It is Veterans Day, when we honor everyone who served in all of the campaigns. We honor them with dignity and respect, and of course mattress sales and tire discounts.

At Deloitte, our programs for veterans are bringing new approaches to the table. For instance, we're helping veterans' organizations use data analytics to sift through streams of information about veteran needs.

It is outrageous to know that security procedures are apparently so lax at the Department of Veterans Affairs that a single bureaucrat had the ability to put the personal information of over 26 million Veterans at risk for sale to the highest criminal bidder.

My fear was of being offered a job that would be kind of a full-time position at a veterans organization or even in the government... I'd prefer to not be that, to come up the Beltway every day.

One of the good things about the way the Gulf War ended in 1991 is, you'd see the Vietnam veterans marching with the Gulf War veterans.

Logan was talking about the Civil War, which claimed the lives of more than 500,000 Americans. He wanted to provide Civil War veterans with a day to pay respects to their fellow soldiers who did not live to see the end of the war, without losing a day's pay.