Top 1200 Funny Wedding Toast Quotes & Sayings

Now what is a wedding? Well, Webster's dictionary describes a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's garden.

If you're in the game long enough, you're going to be the toast of the town one day, and the next day you'll be toast.

Whenever I get married, it will be a Bengali wedding. If I won't have a Bengali wedding, my mother won't come. She has warned me. So, I am going to have a Bengali wedding for sure.

This toast feels raw. Is it safe to eat raw toast?

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

It sounds funny to say, but we saw [Kate's wedding to Prince William] as just a family wedding. And actually, I didn't realize - perhaps - the scale of it until afterwards. We all took on the roles as any family would.

Mercy Watson is obsessed with toast. What was blocking me was the challenge of trying to understand what she loves, what motivates her. That was the missing piece. Toast became the physical symbol of Mercy's hopefully endearing greed and obsession. Without that element in place, it didn't make sense.

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

He is a Hindu NRI and I am a Christian, so I did a court marriage and had a Catholic wedding. The wedding was intimate with just family members.

I ride my bike for transportation a great deal - occasionally I ride it for fun. But I also have a generator bike that's hooked up to my solar battery pack, so if I ride 15 minutes hard on my bike, that's enough energy to toast toast, or power my computer.

Snoop Dogg is hilarious. T.I. is really funny. Who else? 50 Cent is hilarious. Jay-Z is funny. I've met him, but he's funny in interviews. He was funny when I saw him, too. Ludacris is funny. Everybody is. Rappers are funny, a lot of them.

I toast the Pope, but I toast conscience first.

By now it was clear that Howl was in a mood to produce green slime any second. Sophie hurriedly put her sewing away. "I'll make some hot buttered toast," she said. "Is that all you can do in the face of tragedy??" Howl asked. "Make toast!

A big part of being in a wedding is the financial obligation, and that's something that people don't really talk about, but if you're asked to be in a wedding, you're gonna have to fork over some cash.

As difficult as it was to break off the wedding, we wanted to be in a better place together - especially when you go through a life-changing event like a wedding.

My favorite toast is rye toast.

But the toaster was quite satisfied with itself, thank you. Though it knew from magazines that there were toasters who could toast four slices at a time, it didn't think that the master, who lived alone and seemed to have few friends, would have wanted a toaster of such institutional proportions. With toast, it's quality that matters, not quantity.

Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick.

A wedding is for daughters and fathers. The mothers all dress up, trying to look like young women. But a wedding is for a father and daughter. They stop being married to each other on that day.

I love my lifestyle now, but at the end of nine months, you're toast. You are toast. It's like running a marathon. You can't think while you're doing it. Especially when different directors come in who are not part of the posse, the circle.

Forest who is in love with fire will wear black wedding gown in her wedding!

I'll tell you what, with Hillary Clinton, I said be at my wedding and she came to my wedding. You know why? She didn't have a choice...

The only reason I wanted 'Making Toast' as the title is that it is a simple gesture of moving on. Every morning there's the bread and you make the toast and you start the day.

I have trouble with toast. Toast is very difficult. You have to watch it all the time or it burns up.

When I was in high school, there was 'Superbad' and 'The Girl Next Door' and 'Wedding Crashers' and all these great movies. You hope to be a part of something that's smart, funny and in that Todd Phillips-vein. You want to make something like 'Superbad.' That movie was so good and so funny.

Me and a friend literally had the idea for Wedding Crashers and pitched it, and it was already a script. They go, "That's funny! You should call it The Wedding Crashers." It was almost exactly like that .

It isnt only fictional heroes to whom toast means home and comfort. It is related of the Duke of Wellington - I believe by Lord Ellesmere - that when he landed at Dover in 1814, after six years absence from England, the first order he gave at the Ship Inn was for an unlimited supply of buttered toast.

Toast is me. I am toast.

I am very superstitious about toasts. I never toast with water, and I'm very careful to make eye contact with everyone I toast with.

I was a wedding planner's assistant for years. And I knew I did not want to have a traditional wedding because I had worked a million of them. So my husband and I got married at a sleepaway camp in the Berkshires.

Start with the basics: make pancakes, boil an egg, make toast. Get the kids used to getting a bit of toast and understanding it's hot.

The four rings on my wedding finger are all very significant - my wedding ring, my mum's wedding ring and the engagement rings of my granny and mother-in-law.

My favorite part of going to a wedding is ruining the wedding.

There is a bright spot or two for the Spaniards. French toast has become freedom toast on the Air Force One breakfast menu, but the Spanish omelet is still a Spanish omelet.

Toast is bread made delicious and useful. Un-toasted bread is okay for children's sandwiches and sopping up barbecue sauce, but for pretty much all other uses, toast is better than bread. An exception is when the bread is fresh from the oven, piping hot, with butter melting all over it. Then it's fantastic, but I would argue that bread fresh out of the oven is a kind of toast. Because I'm an asshole and I refuse to be wrong about something.

Every wedding is slightly different from the other. But you always get to meet the funny uncle and the weirdo relatives, and there's always someone trying to beat you up for not playing enough Beatles songs or something.

I'm the sort of person who wants to wear a wedding dress to a wedding.

Larry is back in town...The wedding is set for October. Tammy is threatening to have me in the wedding. Some friends they are.

For a girl, the wedding is when you're married. For a guy, it's when you get engaged. It takes a real aggressive human being to back out between the ring and the wedding.

A wedding, a great wedding, is just a blast. A celebration of romance and community and love... What is unfun about that? Nothing.

Funny is funny. You can be fooled by the eye, but if your performance is funny to the ear, it will be funny. I think it's that if you don't have the visual, you have to infuse the full personality into the voice.

I say that is wine," Brett held up her glass. "We ought to toast something. 'Here's to royalty.'" "This wine is too good for toast-drinking, my dear. you don't want to mix emotions up with a wine like that. you lose the taste." Brett's glass was empty.

Funny is funny. If it's funny enough to women, it will be funny to men. I think that's been proven by Broad City and Amy Schumer. They're killing it.

I like the smell of toast. Coffee is okay, but I don't drink much coffee. But toast is a nice smell. You smell some toast coming from your kitchen in the morning, you know that you're involved in a domestic situation and the operation that's going on is pleasant.

Women ... to them any wedding is better than no wedding and a big wedding with a villain preferable to a small one with a saint.

It would be nice to be a piece of toast. Everyone likes a piece of toast, don't they? No one is ever sad when you offer them a piece of toast, and if I could be that to someone, that would be nice.

So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast. "This is death toast sweety.

I think if you have a funny thought, and you want to get off a funny point, try to do it as realistically as you can. If you try to act it funny and accent the funny points, or do it in a funny style, you kind of lose it.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraeulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'

We drank a toast to innocence, we drank a toast to now. And tried to reach beyond the emptiness, but neither one knew how.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in 'The Sound of Music.'

It's a different world: when I'm writing 'Toast,' I've got one foot in 1974 and one foot in the modern day, because the modern day is nowhere near as funny or interesting.

What the altar-bound of today end up buying from their numberless vendors is a dog's breakfast of bridal excess - part society wedding of the twenties, part Long Island Italian wedding of the fifties. It's The Philadelphia Story and The Wedding Singer served up together in one curious and costly buffet.

When 'Toast' got on Netflix, I noticed a difference. It was something I thought that only myself and a few people would find funny, and suddenly it's on a very large platform. Now it kind of belongs to everyone.

The good thing about being gay, though, I always believed, is that you didn't make anyone go to a wedding. Nobody wants to go to a wedding. Nobody. It kind of bothers me now that you have to go to gay weddings, too. I don't care. It's still a wedding. And I would give anybody double gifts if they would elope.

Toast was a pointless invention from the Dark Ages. Toast was an implement of torture that caused all those subjected to it to regurgitate in verbal form the sins and crimes of their past lives. Toast was a ritual item devoured by fetishists in the belief that it would enhance their kinetic and sexual powers. Toast cannot be explained by any rational means. Toast is me. I am toast.

I love my lifestyle now, but at the end of nine months, you're toast. You are toast. It's like running a marathon. You can't think while you're doing it. Especially when different directors come in who are not part of the posse, the circle

I wanted to define the vocabulary of a wedding both visually and intellectually. The book is about more than weddings or wedding dresses. It's a metaphor for women's lives, their creativity.

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it.

See, I just don't want to starve at my wedding. So, my dream wedding is one where I get to eat a meal while everyone else enjoys themselves as well.