Top 1200 Funny Wedding Toast Quotes & Sayings - Page 20

I'd fantasised about being married since I was a little girl and dressed up in my mum's wedding dress.

I always say, if I tell you a joke right now and it's funny, you laugh. Now, we set the lights, and I tell you the joke again, it's hard to find it funny the second time.

I was surprised that everyone calls it 'morning sickness,' because it lasted all day. For me, it was even worse at night. During my first two pregnancies, I felt so nauseous all day that I could only eat plain toast and bland foods - no proteins.

I heard there was a bit of talk that there might be a second 'Wedding Crashers' film. It would certainly get my support.

Reynie's fce fell. 'It's not funny, Kate.' For a moment - a fleeting moment - Kate looked desperately sad. 'Well, of course it's not funny, Reynie Muldoon. But what do you want me to do? Cry?

What sticks in my mind from seeing the Teletubbies is Tinky Winky's handbag and Tubby Custard. I always remember wanting to have a glass of Tubby Custard and some Tubby Toast in the morning.

Wedding films are always about the differences between people. But they haven't quite dealt with African-Americans and Latinos.

The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage becomes 'real.' Then don't forget that the act has to be funny, and to me, being funny and entertaining any given audience is more important than anything.

What kind of a man thinks it's appropriate to give his soon-to-be bride a lethal weapon for a wedding present?

My biggest blast-off hit was "You Raise Me Up." If you ever have a wedding or a funeral, it's a good pick.

How happy a thing were a wedding, And a bedding, If a man might purchase a wife For a twelvemonth and a day

The Toast's audience is about 30-35 percent male, which shocked me because I would say that we actively try to discourage men from reading our site. Apparently, there's not insignificant number of dudes out there who think that what we are doing is okay.

There was a thing on Facebook that said, 'Describe George Clooney's wedding in three words,' and my answer was, 'Not invited again.'

My sister, singer Jessie Ware, and I are always exchanging music. We brainstormed her wedding playlist for months.

It should be a small intimate wedding not like a big grand show happening. You can interact with all your guests.

You get to the end of something, you're laughing, you're like, 'That's funny, and that's funny,' and then you get to the end, and the credits come down, and you're like, 'That's it?! That's the whole thing?! You had me here for that?!' I just don't want to do that.

Someday I'll get married, and on my wedding day they'll be saying, 'Okay, we have to ask about that infamous Oscar kiss.'

Oh, there was a wedding all right. Did I mention that my sister didn't show up at the church either, Mr. Clayborne?

Bette Davis had very strong opinions and was not afraid to express them. She wasn't afraid of anything that I ever saw. And she was so funny. She's just funny and she was laughing all the time.

Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives... and to the "good life", whatever it is and wherever it happens to be.

I can't explain why a bride buys her wedding dress, whereas a groom rents his tux.

Nowadays they have 12 directors and 15 producers and 30 writers. And all the writers want their lines said a certain way-which isn't necessarily funny. I mean the lines aren't necessarily so funny to begin with.

Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.

The French are funny, sex is funny, and comedies are funny, yet no French sex comedies are funny.

The big problem for comic art is you don't want to overwork it. If a drawing is overworked it isn't funny. It's the spontaneity that keeps a work fresh and funny. If they can see how hard you work, if they can see the beads of sweat, it's no good. I always try to make it look easy.

It is not funny that a man should be killed, but it is sometimes funny that he should be killed for so little, and that his death should be the coin of what we call civilization.

My family is almost exactly like the one in 'Monsoon Wedding'. We are very open, fairly liberal, loud people.

You know, the last time America sensationalized an actor from India, the man died a poor, miserable soul: He was Sabu, the elephant boy. He came here and was the toast of Hollywood. And he just went back to India and died a pauper.

Be good children, and we shall all meet in Heaven. I want to meet you all, white and black, in Heaven. Our Federal Union! It must be preserved! [Toast at a celebration of Thomas Jefferson's birthday, April 13 1830]

It's just so funny that when I was growing up, I was very much of an Australian. I just thought it was funny that there was this war, like, 'No, she's ours, she's practically a Miss Australia.' But I am a Miss Philippines.

You mostly know that you want to be funny, know that you have the desire. It's not like people who grow up beautiful and can look in the mirror and be like, I'm beautiful! Funny is more of a journey. And a desperate attempt.

Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy could be deeper than tragedy, in my view.

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

I try to think of something catchy to say, but there's nothing but irritation that something that was funny yo an eleven-year-old boy is still funny to a seventeen-year-old one.

When I was in college, I had a friend who was an artist and her theory was that all the best art in the world is funny/sad. That was her favorite genre. Funny/sad are probably my two favorite tones.

It's funny how you can look back in life and there are all these 'if's' - if this hadn't happened would I have been here? If I hadn't done this would I have ended up talking to you? It's funny how life is seriously just a bunch of those moments.

Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.

From the beginning, I knew I wanted a beach wedding so I'm thankful looking back that this is how everything turned out.

I've always been the type to fall in love fast and, with every boyfriend, I plan out my wedding in my head.

I do not have a bride gene. I haven't been planning a wedding since I was 3. I never put a sheet on my head and pretended that it was a veil.

Sometimes it hurts when I see my role being edited. But that wasn't the case with '15 Park Avenue... ' or 'Monsoon Wedding.'

I probably would never be able to direct a comedy because I'm not that funny. I don't have that funny bone in me, so it wouldn't be a natural fit. But I love the world of science fiction, and I love the world of technology and science too.

At my 30th birthday party, one of my best friends gave a toast and said I'd been waiting for that day since I was 13. Everyone laughed, but he was right! Life continues to get more fun, more surprising, more delightful.

Marie Antoinette was funny, I'm sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the 'Let them eat cake' line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type.

I think we're in a really interesting moment for women globally just in terms of, like, historically, I think we're in an interesting moment for women. Because, it's important to remember, there have always been funny, funny women. Mae West was real funny. Marilyn Monroe was in one of the greatest comedies, Some Like It Hot, ever made. I mean, it's not like we're lacking. I just think the percentage of women in positions of power in all aspects of our culture is improving and women are standing up and demanding to be heard.

I think David Letterman is a genius. Night after night he is funny and smart. He seems to really enjoy his jokes. They seem connected to who he really is. I like watching him, and there is no one better at turning an awkward moment into something very funny.

When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks.

I used the Deep Cleansing Masque on my wedding day because I wanted everything - including my complexion - to be perfect!

you shall tie the marriage knot with the ropemaker's daughter and the cawing of the crows will be your wedding song.

Habits are funny things. What's funny, or rather tragic, is that bad habits are so predictable and avoidable. Despite this, there are people by the millions who insist on acquiring habits that are bad, expensive, and create problems. The habit they weren't going to get, got them!

My biggest blast-off hit was 'You Raise Me Up.' If you ever have a wedding or a funeral, it's a good pick.

I am usually part of any disaster at a wedding if I'm a bridesmaid, which I've been lucky enough to be several times.

I wore a $30 vintage wedding dress for my 8th birthday in an underground jazz club in Seattle. This was what I wanted.

When I say something funny, I don’t laugh, so my friends are always like, ‘Hahahahaaaa!’ so people know. When I’m not with them, I always think, This person doesn’t know I’m funny; they just think I’m a jerk.

The man who wants his wedding garments to suit him must allow plenty of time for the measure.

... For me it is essential, essential for the poet to have a new toast, new songs.

I don't get too fussy about food around games. It is more just a case of making sure I get some fuel on board. But I quite enjoy poached eggs and toast in the morning so I often go for that before training.

Just because I have rice on my clothes doesn't mean I've been to a wedding. A Chinese man threw up on me.

Anybody can go onstage and be dirty. You have to be funny, that's the key. You can say anything as long as it's funny. You can't take it too seriously up there. And people coming to see you can't take it too seriously.

A lot of people think I'm that guy in 'Betsy's Wedding', but I'm not. What it is for me is that, on some level, I connect with the character emotionally.