Top 1200 Funny Witty Quotes & Sayings - Page 5

It's not always easy to go from funny on the page to funny on the screen.

There are few lonelier sights than a good comedian being funny in a movie that doesn't know what funny is.

If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene.

It's not funny when you actually get shot, but afterwards, yeah, it's funny.

I don't make fun of my characters. I just like to laugh and I think people are funny and the world is funny.

I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not.

My funny speech wasn't funny. That's not the first time a politician has done that.

I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.

The ability to make witty observations is commonly refered to as "cynism" by people who lack it.

If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.

I mean, it's funny, I'm not going to lie. It's funny saying it. We're the Pelicans.

We just keep trying to beat every show with the funny stick until it's funny

What's funny is funny. It doesn't matter what expense it's at. There are people who don't like that and I understand.

I feel pretty and witty and gay. And I pity any girl who isn't me today.

I like Kendrick as an artist. He's witty and he's smart when he's spitting in his lyrics. And he's crafty.

To the U.S. and the world, I'm just known as some funny song and some funny music, some funny video guy. But in Korea I'm doing one of the biggest concerts; it's not a dance music concert. I'm playing with the band, so I change my every song to a rock song.

Be Funny. Be naturally funny. If you're not, get out of the business. Be compassionate.

If you want to be witty, work on your character and say what you think on every occasion.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

One time, Bert and I were making out for so long it wasn't even funny..But then it was funny.

The world is a funny paper read backwards. And that way it isn't so funny.

I have funny bones. If there's ever any kind of tension, I'll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up.

If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny.

I'm not a broad comedy guy. I've been funny in movies, but I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who's sometimes funny.

Comedy is not commercial; it is risky, because what is funny in one place isn't always funny somewhere else.

There are no funny lawyers - only funny people who made a career mistake.

At home in my room, I'm funny, but if I'm commissioned to be that, I don't feel very funny.

I was always good at being observationally funny - like, contributing something funny to the conversation.

I don't know now if I'm funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that's funny.

I remember Tucker Toomey was named so because "T's are funny!" And if Garry Marshall says it's funny, by god, it must be so.

The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny!

My name is Steven Crowder, and I happen to find blatant gayness funny. I mean really funny.

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny.

Adam Sandler is a really funny guy in real life. Separate from all of the movies, that is a funny man.

Funny is funny, and it can come in 8 billion different shades and flavors, so I think it's silly to kind of limit it.

I don't come from Lake Wobegon, and that world is not mine. It's not that funny to me. It's funny to other people, and I'm not judging it, but the world that I come from is not considered funny by other people as well. There's so much pain in it.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

Every witticism is an inexact thought; that which is perfectly true is imperfectly witty.

There's nothing worse than trying to be funny and not being funny.

In comedy, the witty style wins out over every mishap of the plot.

When I'm with other people who inspire my silliness or sense of humor, I'm funny. When I sit down to write, it's hard not to be funny.

I'll just talk and talk for an hour, an hour and half, until funny things come out of my mouth - often things that I don't think will be funny, often things that I just thought were sentences, turn out to be funny, because they're the sentences of an idiot. There's level of self-awareness that develops, and I write down things that were funny, usually when I'm on stage, and that becomes the show.

People are getting careers from YouTube and uploading videos. And they're totally different - you can't necessarily be funny on a video, and then all of a sudden you're live in a theater. You don't have the tools yet. It's a lot more involved to go from being funny on a little iPhone screen to being live in front of people and being funny.

The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny… Alright, it's a little funny.

There's something dangerous about what's funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary.

There's nothing less funny than trying to force funny.

If someone makes you feel wrong-footed, you're unlikely to find them witty.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

I love being funny! I started in the theater when I was 9 and, believe it or not, always played the funny part!

In fact, to gull a fool seems to me an exploit worthy of a witty man.

Farts and poop are still funny and will always be funny.

In America, funny women are allowed to be glamorous and funny, but over here, you're not.

Optimism isn't funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. It's exaggeration.

Unlike my subject will I frame my song, It shall be witty and it shan't be long.

If there's an audience, I think they're going to expect me to be funny. But what if I'm not funny? What if I fail?

In reality, as a comedian, you're successful because you're funny, and you should be able to be funny about anything.

I didn't even realize I was writing songs - I thought I was just being witty and sarcastic.

People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case.

Stephen Sondheim is calculus for actors. The words are witty and brilliant and profound but complicated.