Top 122 Gag Quotes & Sayings

I would have been an essayist in the 18th century. Maybe I'd have had one gag in the piece, but essentially I'd be saying something.

And there is no finer moment, when I sit in a screening, and the parents and the kids are all laughing at the same gag.

I'm an author whose strength is in gag-writing.

I won't stop talking. I am a girl you have no control over. There is not a gag big enough to handle this mouth.

If the gag is complicated, you spend more time thinking about the way you’re drawing it.

The news might be single-handedly trying to bring about an environmental catastrophe, which it will then report on. Super injunctions are interesting legal weapons really, they don't just gag the press, they gag them from mentioning the existence of the gag. Sport belongs in a news bulletin about as much as a mummified cat's head belongs in a Caesar salad. Combine the "mounting pressure" with the "growing cause" and you've got yourself a "media whirlwind" which you can also refer to.

I've seen many imitations on 'Gag Concert' and other programs, too, and I've been watching happily.

I love a quick little magician gag.

I honestly do feel - and I hope I don't gag anybody if they read this - but I feel like I'm one of the luckiest people in the world.

If men are God's gift to women, then God must really love gag gifts.

I go around the country and do a simple gag like, 'The property ladder is now a snake' and get a real laugh.

Earnestness makes British people gag.

If I'm the president, we're going to have emergency-room care, we're going to have gag orders.

I apply the three gag rule, which is if I can read a script without gagging more than three times, then maybe I can say yes to this job.

To my family and friends, I'm very definitely a clown. But do you know what? Doing a drama would almost seem easy because I wouldn't need to find that gag in a line.

Kentucky Gag Order is a great band, there's stuff here and there that you catch that is cool.

'Sex and The City' had very strong gag orders as to what we could say and not say.

...I will not be a sight gag for anybody. I will not do anything degrading to myself or other fat people.

I just don't want to live like I used to. And at some point, I'm going to put a gag order on myself in terms of talking about the past. I've got to slam the door and deal with the present and the future.

Sometimes you have to gag on fancy before you can appreciate plain.

If a footballer presents himself as a family man and goes and has sex with a prostitute, should he gag her?

I read every book about Buster Keaton and Chaplin to see how they worked - it's all about dedication, tunnel vision, pursuit of perfection, getting the gag right.

In the end, everything is a gag.

I do not favor the gag order.

I'm like a sight gag.

One would have to say "in the end everything is a gag, etc" because everything is infinitely more than just a gag. The same applies to other "is"-statements such as "Laughter is an instant vacation"

The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.

The modern horror audience is wise to our tricks this lets it in on the gag.

My dream in life is to write the one gag that makes everyone in the world laugh.

There is that stereotype of a nerd with the high pants and pocket protector and that kind of thing. That can sustain comedy for maybe a movie - hence the 'Revenge of the Nerds' franchise - but not for hopefully years on the air. It's a sight gag, not a story.

I have allergic reactions: it triggers my gag reflex when I read unrealistic dialogue from a teenager.

How do you gag the voice in your head that says, 'You don't have to [do it] today. There's always tomorrow.'?

I've been known to slum it and shop in the gag-him-and-bag-him aisles, believe it or not.

But a public oration is an escapade, a non-committal, an apology, a gag, and not a communication, not a speech, not a man.

If the gag is complicated, you spend more time thinking about the way you're drawing it.

The gag rule is, is that if any program receiving United States funding for Family Planning cannot mention, cannot speak the word "abortion" in the Third World.

For a long time, I've loved the kind of characters who are boastful yet petty. I was originally a gag manga artist, after all.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.

There is a lot of rubbish written about toilet humour - people saying it is childish and pretending it is beneath them - but there is no doubting the effectiveness of a really good willy gag.

What he brought out was a wooden gag they put in someone's mouth before doing something drastic, like cutting off a leg.

Raw parsley makes me gag. It's the same for my mum and my sister. Which is funny because apparently parsley was used to suffocate witches, back in the day.

Almost everything is in the movie [The Hangover]. I think the fun little Easter eggs on the DVD will be sort of the gag reel stuff. There's a lot of takes we just couldn't get through.We were laughing.

The nice thing about gag manga is how it has this aspect where, at the very least, you're permitted to come out with anything. In my case, anything can talk. Like the mountains.

[Abdellatif Laâbi] was a poet and worked as a high school teacher; and although he hadn't broken any laws, the Moroccan government was determined to "gag" him - I use the term specifically since one of my favorite sequences of his is entitled "The Poem Beneath The Gag."

The gag rule must be eliminated, and it's just the gag rule, we're not talking now even about funding abortion. We're talking about, you know, counseling and speaking, so that's one. That can be reversed by an executive order. [George W.]Bush put it in the first day he got in office. We hope that [Barack] Obama takes it out. He had cut off funding for the United Nations Population Fund, UNFPA, even though Congress had appropriated. It is injured women who are the poorest of the poor.

Gag me with a spoon!

Then why was his tongue in your mouth? Was he conducting a clinical test of your gag reflex?" He smiled, but not nicely. "How is your gag reflex, Ms. Lane? Are you a hair trigger?" Barrons likes to use sexual innuendo to try to shut me up. I think he expects the well-raised southern belle in me will think eew and back off. Sometimes, I do think eew, but I don't back off. "I'm a spitter, if that's what you're asking." I flashed him a too-sweet smile. "Didn't look that way to me. I think you're a swallower. His tongue was halfway to China and you were still taking it." "Jealous?

Art without emotion its like chocolate cake without sugar. It makes you gag.

It's all a joke! Everything anybody ever valued or struggled for... it's all a monstrous, demented gag! So why can't you see the funny side? Why aren't you laughing?

I don't like sweet, warm beverages. It makes me gag!

I am kind of a freak of nature who has loose joints, and I was able to put my legs behind my head, and it looked weird to people when I was a kid, so I kept doing it. It's a great party gag.

I beg your pardon. I’m not gross. (Simone) Grody to the max. Gag me with a spoon. I’ve seen you in the mornings. You’re not exactly well coiffed. (Jesse)

Broccoli, when overboiled, produces a sulfuric stench that causes children to gag the instant they enter the house.

I want to gag sometimes when I see who "we" are recommending that people vote for, and not just as a libertarian.

In America, they have this nauseating habit of calling the conductor 'maestro'. I always slightly gag when the cor anglais player goes, 'Maestro, can I discuss bar 19 with you?'

Sometimes, you start with the drawing and then the gag comes to you in the middle of it. That is when you start working on the solution of the gag, which is composition, placing, equilibrium, and character design.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

I thought Twitter was a joke. I really thought it was a gag. I thought it was like National Lampoon or the Onion.

I started out with three creative jobs - painter, janitor and gag writer.

But it's hard to talk about art. Maybe there should be a law against it, some First Amendment gag order like crying fire in a crowded theater.