Top 1200 Hilarious Short Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

I've seen a bunch of the 'Portlandia' episodes, and they're pretty hilarious.

When you look up 'hilarious' in the dictionary, there's a picture of you.

Life is too short to not have fun; we are only here for a short time compared to the sun and the moon and all that.

I do not use short selling. The fund has not shorted a stock since the 2002 to 2003 time frame. At that time I did short three stocks, on which I broke even on two and made money on one of them. The experience taught me that I was not going to be using short selling going forward for a slew of reasons.

What I really want to do is to write a hilarious farce.

We play short songs and short sets for people who don't have a lot of spare time.

I have always been short, and most people want to be taller. That's sort of a thing, but I love being short.

I'm used to short distances and short bursts of energy; it was just fastest.

I've had a lot of hilarious things happen to me.

In my personal life, I'm hilarious! I was always a bit of a jokester.

Fat jokes aren't relevant, but they're hilarious when you find them.

Whenever I have short ,it's important for me to be inspired by people with short hair.

I haven't changed - the public has. I'm an insider now, which is hilarious.

I've always loved short stories. Even before I was a writer I was reading short stories - there were certain writers where I just felt like they could do in a short story what so many writers needed a whole novel to do, and that was really inspiring to me. Alice Munro, I felt that way about from an early time. Grace Paley.

I've never thrown a javelin. What kind of sport is that? It's hilarious.

The Wodehouse language is so rich and detailed and hilarious.

I love French and English bulldogs. They're hilarious and adorable.

I worked with Adam Pally and he's hilarious and the king of improv!

When an investor focuses on short-term investments, he or she is observing the variability of the portfolio, not the returns - in short, being fooled by randomness.

All pleasantry should be short; and it might even be as well were the serious short also.

I watch Jimmy Fallon all the time. I think he's hilarious.

The first writing I did was short short stories for a newspaper syndicate for which I was paid five dollars a piece on publication.

Jah, for me, is just short for Jehovah. It's a short name for God.

They say anything can happen in a short series. I just didn't expect it to be that short.

I'm used to short distances and short bursts of energy; it was just fastest

The Working Man's Creed: "A short day is better than a short dollar" .

Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.

It would be hilarious if I worked in a bowling alley.

I think Kanye West is a hilarious writer.

Life's short, you know? Especially as an athlete. Your career is very short, and you use the opportunities that you have because you're not going to have them again.

Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.

The alleged short-cut to knowledge, which is faith, is only a short-circuit destroying the mind

Dublin is really fun, and Irish people are hilarious.

Life is short and often stingy; feast the heart with what it craves, short of cruelty, and let the world wonder.

I have some other novels I want to write. I have a lot of short stories - I love the short story.

Look. We both know life is short, Macy. Too short to waste a single second with anyone who doesn't appreciate and value you.

I'm the bad guy in WWE, which I find hilarious.

If you walk into my wardrobe, it's kind of hilarious. It's a sea of black.

Short answers seem like you don't care even if you are trying to answer. I get the same flack for my short texting.

One person I haven't worked with yet, who I find hilarious, is Chad Coleman.

What is meditation?... It is fleeing from the self, it is a short escape of the agony of being a self, it is a short numbing of the senses against the pain and the pointlessness of life. The same escape, the same short numbing is what the driver of an ox-cart finds in the inn, drinking a few bowls of rice wine or fermented coconut-milk.

The triumphing of the wicked is short, and the joy of the hypocrite but for a moment. Whereas the groanings of the righteous are but short, and their jubilee and triumph shall be everlasting.

But I am not sure it would contain any short stories. For the short story is a minor art, and it must content itself with moving, exciting and amusing the reader. ...I do not think that there is any (short story) that will give the reader that thrill, that rapture, that fruitful energy which great art can produce.

I have a short attention span, so I go through short nerd-out phases.

how can you love a little cat so much in such a short short time?

Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you.

People say that life is short, but it isn't short. It's very long.

'Harvey' continues to be both a charming and hilarious play.

When you're a short actor you stand on apple boxes, you walk on a ramp. When you're a short star everybody else walks in a ditch.

We were the guys on the other side. It was hilarious.

Markets may in the short-term correct. But in a bull market the correction is always sharp, swift and short-lived.

It's hilarious to see guys wearing a headband with 'I'm a Hugger' on it.

Obviously not a Stephen King level writer, but I'd written short stories and short fiction, from the time I was 12.

I can't ever imagine going in for short hair. I'm somehow not comfortable in getting a short haircut done.

I adapted an O. Henry short story called 'By Courier,' which got nominated for a Best Short Subject Oscar.

Robert Creely's poems have two main characteristics. 1) They are short; 2) they are not short enough.

Life is short, very short, and what are we doing here if not trying to become more generous and loving?

You learn by writing short stories. Keep writing short stories. The money's in novels, but writing short stories keeps your writing lean and pointed.

I find myself in pretty hilarious situations.

There's a lot of cat videos. Cats are just hilarious.