Top 1200 Hilarious Short Quotes & Sayings - Page 3

I remember seeing 'Pitch Perfect' and loving it right away. It's hilarious!

I do miss my hair because I used to do so much stuff with it, but I do like different levels of short. I had a super short pixie before, and I loved it.

Cameron Esposito is a musician and podcaster from the States and she's hilarious.

Drunken behavior will not be tolerated, except by those who are being hilarious.

I'm more thrilled by the short fiction than I expected to be. I've found more pleasure in reading short fiction than I used to. By seeing what kinds of thinking are going on in short fiction. I was also surprised by the panic I've felt, especially at first, when we'd put an issue to bed and then realized we had to put another one together.

Every script I've read for 'Black Jesus' has been hilarious.

I find it hilarious when Obama's hand gets caught in the cookie jar

I think it's hilarious if people say that my body looks masculine.

The casualness with which people say hello to Julia on the street is hilarious to me.

We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious.

It's a shame - we've got so many hilarious women, and think there's a certain repression there.

If flatness were funny, a dinner plate would be hilarious.

I'm completely obsessed with Andrew Smith's 'Winger.' A great, hilarious, and moving story.

I didn't intend to become a short-story writer. I became one because I finished a couple of short stories and realized that's what I wanted to do and could do with children and with all the other things in my life.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it's just hilarious.

A lot of people have asked me how short I am. Since my last divorce, I think I'm about $100,000 short.

That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.

Why not try thinking of your life as hilarious rather than nightmarish?

In college, I discovered the Joyce Carol Oates short story 'Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?' which is definitely one of the most incredibly unnerving, frightening short stories ever written.

Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.

I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.

One thing that I struggled with was not corpsing when you're being thrown stuff that's absolutely hilarious by the other actors.

Something that's a hilarious comedy, for someone else might be a drama.

If anybody is a master at improvisation, it would be Ken Jeong. He is hilarious.

We are just the most twisted, sick, hilarious people that I know.

I'm not perfect. And who knows how many times I've fallen short. We all fall short. That's the amazing thing about the grace of God.

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.

He should have known better because, early in his learnings under his brother Mahmoud, he had discovered that long human words (the longer the better) were easy, unmistakable, and rarely changed their meanings, but short words were slippery, unpredictable changing their meanings without any pattern. Or so he seemed to grok. Short human words were never like a short Martian word - such as grok which forever meant exactly the same thing. Short human words were like trying to lift water with a knife. And this had been a very short word.

You don't even have to be a lawyer to be on the Supreme Court, which I think is hilarious.

Christmas in the Buckley household is hilarious - at the family dinner, we all have to do a song, no matter if you can sing in tune.

Mortality is, in reality, a very, very short period. It is literally a snap of the fingers compared to an eternity. It is so short that we can do it. We can prevail. Why, you can stand your foot in a vise for a while if you know it's going to be released soon. Yes, earthly probation is short compared to eternity, but so very much is riding on how we handle the trials and temptations of the flesh.

The manufacturer who finds himself up the creek is the short-sighted opportunist who siphons off all his advertising dollars for short-term promotions.

I love tiny, plastic realistic food magnets. I don't know why. They're hilarious.

I happen to think singing is hilarious, especially when it pops out at the wrong time.

My opponent is Short and the match will be short.

I always say I'm not going to care this time, but I always do. Like, I did one this season called Tax Man with Martin Short, which was like, "Are you kidding me? Doing a pilot with Martin Short? Like, career high." And I just assumed, because it's Martin Short, like, "How are they not going to pick that up?" But they didn't.

Make all your decisions based on how hilarious it would be if you did it.

Three blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious!

I'd love to do a project that falls between drama and comedy - a dramedy with hilarious moments.

My favorite lie was the online rumor that Bruce Willis was my uncle. That's hilarious.

When I started out in the early 1930s, there were a great many magazines that published short stories. Unfortunately, the short-story market has dwindled to almost nothing.

If someone made fun of me, I'd be bummed out. But I'd play it like I thought it was hilarious.

I love short stories - reading and writing them. The best short stories distill all the potency of a novel into a small but heady draught. They are perfect reading material for the bus or train or for a lunchtime break. Everything extraneous has been strained off by the author. The best short stories pack the heft of any novel, yet resonate like poetry.

I think 'She Drives Me Crazy' is hilarious and good.

I know my life is full of awkward pauses, and I think it's hilarious.

Robin Williams, another person I didn't know. He is genuinely hilarious.

You have to think outside the box! Can you imagine One Direction and Eminem?! That would be hilarious.

But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.

I do sheet mask every day! They are so great when you are at home. My daughter thinks they are hilarious.

I'm all about being self-deprecating because I think it's hilarious.

Short stories consume you faster. They're connected to brevity. With the short story, you are up against mortality. I know how tough they are as a form, but they're also a total joy.

Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.

Cyndi Lauper was hilarious and generous, someone I'd loved from childhood who didn't disappoint.

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

I think short-term goals are important. Trying to set a missive for yourself for the entire year can be daunting, and it can feel too easy to fail or fall short of that.

Alice Munro is a particular kind of short story writer in that she writes long, character-driven short stories.

I'll watch Ricky Gervais in anything he does. The guy's hilarious.

A warrior must learn to make every act count, since he is going to be here in this world for only a short while, in fact, too short for witnessing all the marvels of it.

In short stories there's more permission to be elliptical. You can have image-logic, or it's almost like a poem in that you can come to a lot of meanings within a short space.

I think Noah Hawley's writing is hilarious, and I love a good dark joke.