Top 1200 Hilarious Short Quotes & Sayings - Page 5

This was my first novel [The Dissemblers ]. I've never seriously written short stories, and actually find short stories much more intimidating as an art form than novels.

I love going on IMDb message boards, and there are some hilarious things that go on there - the most negative people on the planet.

I used to take my short stories to girls' homes and read them to them. Can you imagine the reaction reading a short story to a girl instead of pawing her?

How many times can you say, "No yanking on one another's genitals?" Everything is hilarious until someone starts crying.

I have vivid memories of my dad watching 'Not the Nine o'Clock News.' I didn't really get it but I thought it was hilarious because he was laughing.

Spinners are increasingly starting to bowl short, which means they are taking the straight boundaries away. When you play Test match cricket, you can't bowl short.

Smart, truly hilarious, and entirely sympathetic. Like a hot bubble bath or a holiday at the beach, you won't want it to end.

If you are working in an office, where do you find the time to write a novel? But you can finish a short story in five pages. Furthermore, a short story is a perfect place to learn the craft

My folks are hilarious extroverts and have always been very supportive of all my artistic endeavors. I'm really lucky to come from such an encouraging family.

I'm kind of sad that Tim is not going to direct any more of the Deadpool films, because I really love him. He's hilarious.

Money is a short-term result that incentivizes short-term decision making.

Short stories are designed to deliver their impact in as few pages as possible. A tremendous amount is left out, and a good short story writer learns to include only the most essential information.

What is there to forgive?. . .Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.

If you're looking for reps, write letters that are short and professional. Make sure you have a really great reel of yourself. If there are friends you know who are making short films, do them - it's all material for your reel.

One of the saddest sights to me has always been a human at a keyboard doing something by hand that could be automated. It's sad but hilarious.

One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it... and we always know when it will happen.

Since I was 20, I wanted to make a short film and send it to international short film festivals. It never happened. I became too big a star to indulge in those things.

In a press conference, everyone is required to be like, "I'm just trying to do what's best for the team," but really?! It's a hilarious lie that everybody allows to be told.

On the other hand, now that I'm not dependent on fiction for my income, I've been writing more short stories despite the fact that there's no real paying market for short horror other than Cemetery Dance.

If you are working in an office, where do you find the time to write a novel? But you can finish a short story in five pages. Furthermore, a short story is a perfect place to learn the craft.

I have like a whole album of screenshots of my sister's face, and it's hilarious. One look at that and it'll put you in a good mood for the rest of the day.

I was always übersexual...I was always wearing the smallest clothes I could find. I would go to the mall like that — in a short, short skirt and a giant wedge heel. That's what you do when you're a teenage girl in a small town.

I studied the short story as part of my creative writing course at university but then set off as a novelist. Generally, there is a sense that even if you want to write short stories, you need to do a novel first.

If Pitt is on the short list, there's no reason that West Virginia shouldn't be on the Big 12 short list.

Long life, and short, are by death made all one; for there is no long, nor short, to things that are no more.

I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact, we're short on people. My town has a population of 301.

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

I always had short hair, and I hated my short hair. I was always mistaken for a boy, but my mom wouldn't let me change my hair because she was always chasing me around with a hairbrush, and it was always tangled, so she just would cut it off, and she's right: short hair did suit me.

The first fiction I ever wrote was short stories. I was writing short stories in my late teens and early twenties, and I think it's how you teach yourself to write.

I've worked hard with my body, just in case someone needs me to play third or short. I'm happy to go back to short, it's my natural position. I'm here to help and here to do whatever the manager wants me to do.

For memes, I have an entire iPhone folder of photos that I've taken or saved because I find something about them hilarious.

You can't necessarily tell when watching at home, but those pitches are usually an hour long each, and many are emotional, hilarious, and inspiring.

A lot of times in my short fiction there isn't much dramatized scene - there are a lot of short, interconnected bits, snippets of conversation, continual action, and so on. I frequently rely pretty heavily on voice.

I listen to lots of blues records and some of them are funny. BB King's 'How Blue Can You Get' is hilarious.

I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.

It's difficult to write a really good short story because it must be a complete and finished reflection of life with only a few words to use as tools. There isn't time for bad writing in a short story.

When I first started writing, I did mostly short fiction, and I'd work on a short story and get near to being done and have no idea what I'd work on next, and then I'd panic.

I'll always be making music. I'd like to do it my whole life - although I also love words and want to write short stories. But right now, my songs are kind of my short stories.

More useful than beautiful perhaps, my favourite regular programme is 'Question Time'. And Charlie Brooker is just hilarious.

It is very tough to make a short film. It's like writing a short story, which is tougher than writing a novel. You can't afford to faff around; you can't indulge. You have to get to the point.

Writing/reading is like visiting another person's brain. And a short book or article is like a short stay. You come in, have a coffee, talk about the weather or sports, and then move on.

Short of a space-alien invasion or an Oklahoma tornado, there is almost no problem that a democracy can tackle in a year. But that isn't why we have a government. We have a government to solve the problems that greedy, short-sighted businessmen like me can't.

I was going to shave it. It went in two parts. I got a bob first but it kept falling all over my face. Then it was off, short. The main reason it was long was because my mother cut it short when I was little and I was trying to make up for that.

I have a book in the pipeline of short stories. You want to hear an agent scream, say 'I'm thinking about doing a collection of short stories set in the Ozarks.'

With short hair you begin to crave pearl necklaces, long earrings, and a variety of sunglasses. Short hair removes obvious femininity and replaces it with style.

I've written over 100 short stories. You could say I'm obsessed with short stories.

I think it's hilarious when middle-aged white men try to take themselves seriously. It makes me laugh.

I am the least likely person in the world to be in an American football film! Which is why I couldn't say no to The Replacements; I thought it was hilarious.

Daddy was hilarious. He could take the most mundane event and tell it so that we all on the floor laughing. He trained me in the joys of humor.

Ecclesiastes said that "all is vanity," Most modern preachers say the same, or show it By their examples of true Christianity: In short, all know, or very short may know it.

Usually there will be a funny trend that I put my own twist on or something hilarious happens to me and I think - 'This would be a perfect TikTok.'

I kept watching all the different 'Child's Play' sagas, right? Then all of a sudden I decided, 'He's short, I'm short. What a better concept?' It fits. If I can't make the song, why make the movies?

I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he's hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations.

Michael, don’t,” Eve said. “He won’t hurt us.” Andeveryone rolled their eyes at that. Even Jason, which was borderline hilarious.

Breezy, sophisticated, hilarious, rude and aching with sweetness: LOVE, NINA might be the most charming book I've ever read.

I've been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I'll just tell them, 'I'll have a short bier.'

I understand that fans think short-term, and there's nothing wrong with that. You live or you die in the short term. But I believe in our system, and when you do that, you don't make knee-jerk decisions.

Always run to the short way; and the short way is the natural: accordingly say and do everything in conformity with the soundest reason. For such a purpose frees a man from trouble, and warfare, and all artifice and ostentatious display.

Ben Stiller, who I love and who is a friend and is such an incredible actor - he's hilarious, obviously, but I thought his performance in 'Greenberg' was extraordinary.

I had that whole banter with the police. My mates used to make up raps about Dad being a policeman, it's hilarious.