Top 1200 Inside Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 17

When you have a cast and crew of people who make it light hearted and crack jokes, and break treats, and understand that we are all in this together. That's a biggest plus that you can have.

I learned as a young man that I don't write jokes, but that I can deliver more mundane material and get a laugh. I call myself a humorist.

You may change your profile picture to Trayvon Martin or Eric Garner, but you will never actually walk the streets the way they have, or systematically had your vertebrae stunted. So you will not walk that shrouded walk unless you're on the inside and you can occasionally nod at another on the inside and that acknowledgement can carry you for a while as it won't come from the outside.

I feel really trapped as a comedian - someone who is supposed to be funny and light, making jokes all the time. But I'm actually in this inauthentic armor.

If you can find the God inside yourself, you can find the God inside everybody.

When I make a film, the yardstick is my mind. If I laugh at the jokes and feel sad at the serious undersides, then the subject works.

People are attracted to entertainment, for sure, or jokes, excitement and romantically heightened stories that might be false, but are still attractive fantasies.

I'm sure you have heard it said that appearance does not matter so much, and that it is what's on the inside that counts. This is, of course, utter nonsense, because if it were true then people who were good on this inside would would never have to comb their hair or take a bath, and the whole world would smell even worse than it already does.

My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things.

I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

I had this laddish way about me, with my deep voice and telling jokes all the time; I was Burkey, the little fella in a skirt.

The devil's spirit's trapped inside me. My soul is possessed by this devil my new name is Rain Man. So I keep conjuring (demons), sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn (Satan) from. I'm just relaying what the voice in my head's saying. Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just friends with the monster that's under my bed. Get along with the voices inside of my head.

Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you have to stay current.

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.

Comedy is so collaborative. You're going to come up with better jokes with people you like joking around with. It just makes sense.

Don't go outside your house to see flowers. My friend, don't bother with that excursion. Inside your body there are flowers. One flower has a thousand petals. That will do for a place to sit. Sitting there you will have a glimpse of beauty inside the body and out of it, before gardens and after gardens.

The funnest jokes for me to tell are the ones that are the newest. So I'm just constantly motivated to keep my eyes and ears open and have new stuff.

Being nice can be funny. A lot of my jokes are like, 'Let me take a bad situation and try to put the best spin on it.'

I don't like jokes about sex or bodily functions or drug use or the difference between New York and L.A. I never do any of that.

If you're looking for inner peace from the outside world, you're not going to get that. The inner peace starts with looking at you from the inside. Understanding that everything that comes to you is what you are. Everything from friends to boyfriends to the job you get - it's all a direct reflection of what you are on the inside.

I was a very bad accountant. I knew the book theory, but I didn't have the heart for it. I did it for six months, and my job was to distract the auditors with jokes.

This is the gift of your species and this is the danger, because you do not choose to control your imaginings. You imagine wonderful things and you imagine terrible things, and you take no responsibility for the choice. You say you have inside you both the power of good and the power of evil, the angel and the devil, but in truth you have just one thing inside you - the ability to imagine.

And maybe I am a monster. I don't know the answer to that. But what I do know is that even if there's demon blood inside me, there is human blood inside me as well. And I couldn't love you like I do if I weren't at least a little bit human. Because demons want. But they don't love.

The 'Inside-Out' approach to personal and interpersonal effectiveness means to start first with self; even more fundamentally, to start with the most inside part of self, with your paradigms, your character, and your motives. The inside-out approach says that private victories precede public victories, that making and keeping promises to ourselves recedes making and keeping promises to others. It says it is futile to put personality ahead of character, to try to improve relationships with others before improving ourselves.

..I fancied you'd return the way you said, But I grow old and I forget your name. (I think I made you up inside my head.) I should have loved a thunderbird instead; At least when spring comes they roar back again. I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead. (I think I made you up inside my head.)

I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.

On a day-to-day basis, you get tired of waiting to be accepted. In show business, someone else has to say that you're good or that you're worth going to see or worth taping a show. There's a lot of pain here. There's a lot of pain inside. I'm a sad, crying-on-the-inside kind of clown.

As I see it, you are living with something that you keep hidden deep inside. Something heavy. I felt it from the first time I met you. You have a strong gaze, as if you have made up your mind about something. To tell you the truth, I myself carry such things around inside. Heavy things. That is how I can see it in you.

I don't want to go and start trying to make jokes in places like India, Tanzania or Iraq. Afghanistan is not a funny place.

A lot of people are very frustrated. On the outside I am a woman, but how much am I also a man inside? And how much is the man that I meet actually a woman inside? The transsexual is a symbol for the confusion all of us in the Western world feel about this right now.

I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's going on in the news in order to get the jokes on the show.

As a comedian who's used to, like, punching the jokes, it's hard to teach yourself that that's not the strong choice in the sense that you have to really have to dial it back.

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

Twitter taught me how to become better at writing jokes because it forces you to chip away at all the extraneous words.

I tend to process stuff by making jokes about it. It's something that makes me annoying to be around in times of real crisis.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

When there are no women on the tour it can get awful and ugly - constant horrible jokes and gross behaviour. It needs to be leavened with a feminine presence.

Anyone who walks out on stage, whether he's eight or 80, they'll go, 'Oh, Alesha, he'd be good for you.' I'm the butt of the single jokes.

Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.

My jokes aren't predicated on my weight that much. I talk about it some, but it's definitely not the focus, so I don't feel any pressure to stay big.

I'm not sure how anyone with a soul can make jokes about the passing of one of the most talented artists this generation will see.

On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have.

Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.

I spend months, sometimes years, doing what I call dreamtime, weaving it together inside my head. But when I actually feel that the egg of my story is ready to hatch, then I can write it in three months. Then I know the landscape and the people well and from the inside, but I don't necessarily know where the story is going to take us.

I've liked being Jewish in America - there's a secular version of Jewishness there that's more about bagels and jokes than going to synagogues.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

You could waterboard me for days - for years - and I would still be cracking jokes about how bad Rachel Maddow is.

Sometimes, when actors reach out to their characters, they're nowhere in sight. They need to find something inside of them. And then the characters are right there. As a director, I want them to find the character that's already inside them, instead of trying to manufacture or manipulate or make something up. That's not really honest or true.

The reason most comedies don't win awards is that the filmmakers put the comedy first. This means you have to create a story around the jokes.

When I visited Chechnya, I was taken aback at first because people would regularly make jokes about kidnapping me.

When I watch a comedy that's just hitting you over the head with jokes constantly, some really hit, but if they miss, you're like, 'Eh.'

jokes are ideally pleasurable. They are an act of assassination without a corpse, a moment of total annihilation that paradoxically makes anything possible.

Rob and I both have this strange sense of comedy which always involves us being the butt of our own jokes.

I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.

Being In Love Means hard questions. Will I? Won't I? Should I? Could I? Yes? No? You? Me? There is no me without you. Is there a you without me? And if were truly one. how will I breathe when circomstance pries us apart? You are my oxygen. my substance, the blood inside my veins. When we touch, you are my skin. hold all my joy inside of you. When you go, I wither.

The reason of idleness and of crime is the deferring of our hopes. Whilst we are waiting, we beguile the time with jokes, with sleep, with eating, and with crimes.

I respect religion in general. I respect a lot, but I don't follow any religion. You know, I just follow my personal connection with God. For me, God is inside my heart and is inside everyone's heart.

Some of the best jokes are about funerals or people dying or whatever. Laughter and tears are two sides of the same coin.