Top 209 IRS Quotes & Sayings

The only two things that scare me are God and the IRS.

The IRS takes your money. Congress uses our money to arm our enemies. The IRS takes more of your money. Congress uses that money to fight the enemies Congress just armed.

When I write my annual tax column, some ex-IRS agent will complain, "There you go IRS bashing again." They're always saying that they're just doing their job. Someone I know once said, "You could get another job."

I say scrap the IRS. Let's start all over again.

However accurate or inaccurate the agency's numbers may be, tax law explicitly presumes that the IRS is always right -- and implicitly presumes that the taxpayer is always wrong -- in any dispute with the government. In many cases, the IRS introduces no evidence whatsoever of its charges; it merely asserts that a taxpayer had a certain amount of unreported income and therefore owes a proportionate amount in taxes, plus interest and penalties.

Obamas IRS is not the IRS Ive ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.

I have no evidence of any relationship between IRS and NSA.

The Daily Caller has obtained an advance copy of a House Oversight and Government Reform Committee report set to be released Tuesday morning that definitively proves malicious intent by the IRS to improperly block conservative groups that an IRS adviser deemed 'icky.'

I have often thought that the difference between a cult and a religion is an IRS ruling.

Grandchildren: the only people who can get more out of you than the IRS.

I played so bad, I got a get-well card from the IRS.

The government doesn't want us to have weapons and yet, they have weapons. I think the biggest weapon they have is the IRS - Internal Revenue Service. They can use taxes as a weapon, and the IRS code that you can't even figure it out.

IRS is very poorly equipped to make a distinction between what is a religion and what is not.

One poll showed that Americans have a higher opinion of witches, the IRS and hemorrhoids than Congress

May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.

'The Committee has identified eight senior leaders who were in a position to prevent or to stop the IRS's targeting of conservative applicants,' the Oversight report states. 'Each of these leaders could have and should have done more to prevent the IRS's targeting of conservative tax-exempt applicants.'

You must buy health insurance or pay the new Gestapo - the IRS.

There are more words in the IRS code than there are in the Bible. And not a one of them is as good.

Families will now have to prove to the IRS that they have Washington-approved and government-mandated insurance.

Each year, we learn that customer service diminishes. You may argue it's because the IRS budget has been cut, but I'm going to argue that it's because the IRS chooses to spend its funds in other areas like the Affordable Care Act, bonuses, and conferences.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

Musicians now find themselves in the unlikely position of being legitimate. At least the IRS thinks so.

On the IRS website, they claim to be one of the world's most efficient tax administrators. The IRS officials might know how to collect taxes, but surely know how to misspend the funds.

Congress is supposed to fund the IRS, and it has been steadily reducing the number of auditors and tax collectors the IRS has at the very time that the tax system has become vastly more complicated. And of course America continues to grow, so there's an increasing number of tax returns coming in. The IRS responds by doing exactly what Congress expects of them. That shouldn't surprise anyone. All bureaucracies do what they are told.

H.R. 5444 provides long-overdue structural reforms and service improvements to the IRS. The legislation codifies the IRS Office of Appeals to streamline the appeals process and to provide fair and impartial determinations for concerns raised by the taxpayer.

Obama's IRS is not the IRS I've ever known for over seventy years as an American citizen.

I've enjoyed much success. The IRS is always at my door, constantly.

President Clinton says he looks forward to the day a citizen can call the IRS and get the right answer to a question. I look forward to the day I can call the IRS and get a voice that says, 'Sorry, that number has been disconnected.'

While you're alive, the IRS will attempt to take what you've made. When you're not, the IRS will attempt to take what it missed.

Most voters would rather have their purse or wallet stolen than be audited by the IRS.

Trump often says he needs to keep his tax returns private until the IRS finishes auditing him. But the IRS itself has said this isn't necessary. And recently, Trump changed his tune, saying he'll release his returns as soon as Hillary Clinton releases the 33,000 emails she deleted from her email server.

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hot lines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly. If you ask them a real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless. So, for guidance, you want to look to big business. Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. . . .

Essentially, Robin Hood put a smackdown on the medieval equivalent of the IRS.

It is my belief that one's salary is between an individual and the IRS.

I got IRS records to finance what I wanted to do.

I was going to start off tonight with an Obama joke but I don't want to get audited by the IRS.

We know the IRS has made clear there is no prohibition on releasing it when you're under audit.

We must get rid of the IRS. It's a bureaucracy fraught with totalitarianism.

I want to find a voracious, small-minded predator and name it after the IRS.

I will use my expertise in technology to bring the IRS up to date.

There are already current laws on the books and there are - and jurisdictions. The IRS can come in and do any kind of investigation of a person.

Please understand what the IRS scandal is about: Using the government to shut down opponents

We're going to rebuild Puerto Rico with money that we saved from the IRS in a Robin Hood fashion.

Much has already been learned about the arrogance of the IRS from the House investigations of the agency's targeting of conservatives. The revelations emerged despite strenuous efforts by Democrats in Washington and by the IRS itself to block inquiries and deny the existence of political targeting - targeting that the former head of the IRS Exempt Organizations Unit, Lois Lerner, eventually acknowledged and apologized for in May 2013.

I voted in support of H.R. 5445, the 21st Century IRS Act, which requires the IRS to place more taxpayer services online.

The IRS spends God knows how much of your tax money on these toll-free information hotlines staffed by IRS employees, whose idea of a dynamite tax tip is that you should print neatly.

I don't want the IRS banging down my door.

Mandatory sentencing guidelines have become as complicated and detailed as the IRS code!

What am I afraid of? The IRS. That's it. I don't want those people knockin' on my door, man.

Another agency - the IRS - did not do as well under Republicans who control Congress. The IRS is largely flatlined in their spending, but they did get about 300 million more funding. But I can only be used to help people pay their taxes and answer questions. It can't be used for any other purpose.

What do I need it for, millions of dollars? It just sounds like problems with the IRS to me.

The IRS isn't the only agency using taxpayer dollars for big bonuses.

I think the terror most people are concerned with is the IRS.

If you make one word out of 'The IRS' it spells 'theirs.'

We don't want the efficiency of the federal government and the compassion of the IRS to run our health care.

The IRS says it's been getting death threats since the health care bill passed because the IRS is going to be the ones in charge of implementing it. They say the threats people are making to the IRS are so bad, that they are actually hindering the IRS's ability to threaten people.

Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag

What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man.

The British use a system where the profits a corporation reports to shareholders is what they pay taxes on. Whereas in America we require corporations to keep two sets of books, one for shareholders and one for the IRS, and the IRS records are secret. For publicly-traded companies, the British system would tend to align the interests of the government with the interests of the company because the company wants to report the biggest possible profit. Though, all wealthy countries have high taxes as wealth requires lots of common goods, from clean water to public education to a justice system.

The only people helped by the death tax are lawyers, accountants, and IRS agents.