Top 1200 Joke Quotes & Sayings - Page 17
Explore popular Joke quotes.
Last updated on April 20, 2025.
There's no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.
Usually the intention of the artistic effect is too sophisticated for most people to understand, sort of like a joke that they don't get so they don't think it's funny.
Scientists are adding an extra second to the year 2015. Yeah. Here's the bad news. You just wasted it listening to this joke.
A play is made by sensing how the forces in life simulate ignorance-you set free the concealed irony, the deadly joke.
Me and fellow scouser Toni Duggan are a double act. We are always pre-planning some sort of practical joke.
There are quite detailed rules with sitcom. When people can leave scenes, act structure, joke rhythm. You can't not have a straight man.
I was just doing it for fun. I was in college recording music as a joke, so I really didn't think that a career was feasible - being able to travel.
For Europeans a president having an affair, especially in France, is a joke. No one cares, it would never bring this kind of trouble to a country.
The girl-next-door image is a sort of joke; for years, I couldn't get any roles other than as somebody dark.
My reputation as a ladies' man was a joke. It caused me to laugh bitterly through the 10,000 nights I spent alone.
Challenging someone is good. You need to do it. Sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it, like when you joke with a goalie, 'What's wrong today? You losing it?'
Somebody would think I was trying to get favored treatment because my ancestors had the name Moon. And that's a joke.
I often joke that 100 years from now I hope people are saying, 'Dang, she looks good for her age!'
I consider myself a sit-down comedian really, as much as anything else. I love comedy. Life is a cosmic joke.
It's been a joke my entire life, because I'm quite limby, I'm very uncoordinated. Everyone finds it hysterical that I've started dancing.
Only in the mystery novel are we delivered final and unquestionable solutions. The joke to me is that fiction gives you a truth that reality can't deliver.
An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the same thought.
The idea of beetles came into my head. I decided to spell it BEATles to make it look like beat music, just a joke.
I joke that I spent 38 years scouring the globe, going to war zones, trying to find the person with my exact birthday.
I actually credit Twitter with fine-tuning some joke-writing skills. I still feel like I'm working at it.
Most people are used to the T.V. comedy method of one joke every 18 seconds. And that's why it's not funny... There's no time for anything to develop.
Italians have a little joke, that the world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that's why they have godfathers.
I learnt that fame is an illusion and everything about it is just a joke. I'm far more dangerous now, because I don't care at all.
I always joke that they're all like my children, so I love them all, but I would be lying if I didn't admit that 'Wonder Woman' has an affinity for me.
The really funny moments you notice throughout your life are very seldom generated by one person telling a joke.
It was funny to hear that I'd slapped Bieber. I thought it was a joke. Then it blew up. I probably got 50 texts about it.
Writing a book has about it some of the anxiety of telling a joke and having to wait several years to know whether or not it was funny.
Everyone's heard the same joke a million times and knows the setups. They are tired of the mass-marketed entertainment served on the networks.
Venom was a joke in the '80s, their heavy metal music sucked big time, and I really have no interest in them - not then, not now.
One should never risk a joke, even of the mildest and most unexceptional charters, except among people of culture and wit.
Any so-called leader who does not take this issue (climate change) seriously or treats it like a joke is not fit to lead
I've come to feel very strongly, not as a joke, that if you appoint a committee of more than four people, their efficiency starts to deteriorate.
I used to joke that I came to England - not to the U.S. where most Koreans go - because I like Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie.
One joke coming from one person can land completely flat, while somebody else delivering it in a unique way can really elevate it.
I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn't understand, and in a way still don't, because when I look in a mirror it doesn't seem funny to me.
My name don't ever come up unless it's light, a joke, laughs behind it. I'm not saying it's all the way a bad thing, but it's not great.
A dirty joke is not, of course, a serious attack on morality, but it is a sort of mental rebellion, a momentary wish that things were otherwise.
To me, everything is a joke in MMA when it comes to serious topics because you can't really talk seriously about anything in our business.
We need more intellect and humor back on television, instead of the lowest common denominator of comedy - like the fart joke!
MMA has a lot of those things that you're not allowed to talk about; like, they're completely off-limits. So you have to make a joke out of it.
Challenging someone is good. You need to do it. Sometimes they don't even realize you're doing it, like when you joke with a goalie, 'What's wrong today? You losing it?
It's difficult to talk to people who whisper even at home, afraid of Americans eavesdropping on them. It's not a figure of speech, not a joke, I'm serious.
Norbit operates on the principle that vulgarity is automatically funny. Crassness doesn't need a joke attached because it is (in and of itself) the height of hilarity.
Catering on planes, like on British Rail, is a standing joke, but I don't really have a problem with it. I don't quite know what people expect.
I just don't get if you have ever gotten offended by a joke, why would you go to a comedy club? That's where jokes happen.
The once-surprising existence of non-Euclidean models of Euclid's first four axioms can be seen as a sort of mathematical joke.
At university level, I had an economics lecturer who used to joke that I was the only student who handed in essays on British Airways notepaper.
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.
If I should ever die, God forbid, I hope you will say, 'Kurt is up in heaven now.' That's my favorite joke.
I joke that I stick with the job because it covers my insurance, but the reality is that my career has always been very important to me.
Every joke is either taken by ads or The Simpsons. It's all about being able to get your ideas out into the universe.
Writers are encouraged to "keep 'em laughing" and complain "with good humor" in order to "win" allies. The joke is always on ourselves.
To single out a particular group and say we can't make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it's kind of patronizing.
"My only problem with women breastfeeding in public is they never wink back." It's kind of the perfect joke because it's a bait and switch.
I have never been able to see life as anything but a vast complicated practical joke, and it's better to laugh than cry.
My writers on 'Liv And Maddie' have started a running joke to try and sneak as many 'literally's into the script as they can to throw me.
You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there's a good, honest, honorable reason for telling it.
It was that famous joke: What's the last thing the drummer said before he got kicked out of the band? 'Hey, I wrote a song.'
Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It's like a big joke.
Theres no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.