Top 1200 Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 20
Explore popular Jokes quotes.
Last updated on December 22, 2024.
I suppose I'm going on stage and making jokes about the fact that the audience are expecting the show to be about something and that they might learn something.
I still haven't found the humor in getting hit by a cement truck. My knees still hurt when I think about it, so no jokes about that yet.
Comedians get jokes offered to them, rock stars get women and underwear thrown onstage, and I get guys that want to take me fishing.
I just want you that's it. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. Everything. I just want you
I was never a joke teller. I don't even like jokes, for the most part. I don't like to hear them, and rarely can I even remember one.
I've always littered my songs with jokes. You might need to dig a little deeper to find the humor, but I would totally object to being some kind of distraught personality. I've never tried to attach myself to that.
Comedians who aren't screenwriters are telling jokes that they themselves think are funny. They're expressing their own view of what they think funny is.
In black neighborhoods, everybody appreciated comedy about real life. In the white community, fantasy was funnier. I started looking for the jokes that were equally hilarious across the board, for totally different reasons.
I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.
When it comes to African Americans and African American actors, Hollywood has always felt that if you can make us laugh, that's fine, but we don't need to see you do a 'Schindler's List,' where there's no jokes or music or comedic through-line.
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
The stuff that I'm saying, they're not really traditional, structured jokes. It's not like I'm talking about growing up in Chicago or anything remotely close to that. It's basically me juggling words and concepts and phrases and being stupid.
I have a really crazy cackle laugh, and I think sometimes people don't realize that they're not laughing at my jokes, they're actually just laughing because of my laugh.
I certainly don't know a lot of anti-Semitic people, but I've got plenty of friends that have a whole bunch of Jew jokes up their sleeve, and every time it's relevant, it will come up.
People get so heated about it and can't see the funny side, I think. And plus, everything's been said. It must be really difficult to come up with new jokes about Brexit.
Being on the plane is my catch-up time. I write thank-you notes. I read. I write stand-up jokes.
It feels amazing to just be here and be able to share my jokes with the world. It's not so much about being a girl, it's about being a funny comic.
When I do comedy, my brain sort of locks up in the infinite possibilities. That's where I get sort of lost. I think, "Oh, there are six other jokes that we could say here!" I feel more at home with drama.
It's kind of low brow, but the show 'Bob's Burgers' is hilarious, and being from the Midwest, I can kind of relate to a lot of the jokes. 'Orange is The New Black' is a Netflix Exclusive, I think - that's really funny.
I loved practical jokes. I loved being goofy on the playground, and I loved doing silly cartoons, but I was not this subversive little delinquent. I am an Eagle Scout, after all.
My father, the practical joker, did not care for practical jokes on himself; he did not encourage the practice in me.
I can't find someone funny whom I don't like. Hitler told great jokes. I didn't find it funny at all.
All womankind, from the highest to the lowest love jokes; the difficulty is to know how they choose to have them cut; and there is no knowing that, but by trying, as we do with our artillery in the field, by raising or letting down their breeches, till we hit the mark.
Remember that Cosby show where he harrassed the children? Well I put on a little suit and because I am so small they invited me on but nobody was laughing at my jokes. I guess I'm just, too, particularly smart for them.
When I started doing standup when I was 17, I was talking about being Indian and specifically ethnic jokes. Straightforward stuff that was fairly ignorant that I knew would get the laugh. It wasn't flipping stereotypes; it was using them.
I always loved jokes. It's such a dumb, facile thing to say, but it's true. I remember being a kid and getting those joke books from the Scholastic Book Club and loving comedy from a very young age.
I was born. When I was 23 I started telling jokes. Then I started going on television and doing films. That's still what I am doing. The end.
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
Don't worry, Mrs. Colder. For the most part, we keep him leashed and gagged. We only let him free when the cute little animal jokes are needed. ~Sherra Callahan (on Kane Tyler)~
There were many times when I kept silent about being Jewish as I got older, when Jewish jokes were told.
I think the jokes would have been a bit broader and a bit more obvious in terms of the day-to-day of country life.
I do get text messages from people with sick jokes on when something terrible has happened. I don't read them; they make me ill. But it does happen, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who gets them.
I do a few jokes about the economy but from an everyday person perspective. People like to laugh, and they especially like to laugh during difficult circumstances.
I have a lot of people in my life who are truly ridiculous characters, and they're very, very funny people, but they don't really try to be. They're not cracking jokes.
I don't want to make compromises. I want my little silly jokes to be told with the correct punch line, and I'm satisfied trading off the immediacy to fulfill the detailed work of the artistic end of things.
We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.
Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy.
I grew up in rural Ireland; we only had a few TV channels and had never even heard of sketch shows, but it was completely natural for me to tell jokes and stories.
My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.
I study entertainment and apply it to myself to one day become the greatest WWE superstar we have, and it's a lot of work. So I write jokes and material every day... you have to keep people's attention, one way or another.
The first obligation I have is to be funny; it's my first impulse and an instinct. I like being funny and finding the jokes.
I always assumed that at some point I would have to quit making jokes, get a real job and do something meaningful and productive that would actually benefit society. Fortunately this never happened.
My comedy is my life turned into jokes. I think a lot of people wouldn't like that because you end up talking about stuff where you don't always come out so well. You have to be prepared to say, 'This is me, being a prat.'
I one hundred percent recognize that comedy is a more narcissistic profession and that I cannot directly improve people's lives the way I could if I had stayed in the policy world. But the trade-off is that I'm happier doing jokes.
It took me a while to figure out the U.S. sense of humor, a lot of trial and error. I would write down jokes to casually tell my American friend over Skype to see which ones he'd laugh at.
[Some people think] that storytelling is telling jokes. So they have to be discouraged! Then others think that storytelling-is like an encounter group . . .
There's a lot of hypocrisy in audiences. I'd never dream of telling even on a nightclub stage, let alone my show, some of the jokes that are told in a lot of the living rooms from which we get those letters!
Regular panelists on shows can be terrifying. They own that space, and many guest comics suspect they are favoured in the edit, while their own hilarious jokes end up being ejected into the ether.
Yeah, Silver and his math are jokes, because math has a liberal bias. After all, math is the reason Mitt Romney's tax plan doesn't add up.
When I go to a cinema, I don't care if the film is made by a man or a woman as long as it tells me a story, as long as it offers pictures that shed light on my existence, characters I can identify with, jokes I can laugh at.
All of comedy at some level is trial-and-error, whether it's a stand-up trying out jokes or a comedy show trying stories.
I'm not the type of guy who's funny in the room. I'm the guy who's funny late at night on a computer, trying to construct jokes.
To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct.
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.'
Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large leather notebook and delighted in re-telling most of them to his friends.
I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories.
There's [John Mulaney Show] jokes that I have in stand up that I wouldn't try to put in, I would try to have someone just speak extemporaneously in the middle of a scene about an episode of "Law and Order" or something.
At the end of the day people should remember that we are just trying to make people laugh. Some jokes work and some don't.
I don't know why I get away with some things. But I'm not a misogynistic, racist person. Yet I do find those jokes funny, so I say them. And I try to say everything kind of in a good spirit.
