Top 1200 Late-Night Talk Show Quotes & Sayings - Page 2

Coaches can talk and talk and talk about something, but if you get it on tape and show it to them, it is so much more effective.

The night I won my first Late Model race was the night my mom moved everything out of the house... There was a lot of situations like that.

I have worked in animation on 'King of the Hill.' I've worked in late-night with 'The Daily Show.' I've worked on single-camera stuff, whether it was a movie or television. I have performed onstage.

A lot of issues were on the ballots. In New York City there was Proposition 14. That would put a ceiling on the number of late-night talk shows. And California passed Proposition 21. That would change guacamole officially to guac.

One of my great experiences in life was to be interviewed on a late-night talk show by a guy named Tom Snyder. He was interviewing me on a book I had written on the New Testament of the Bible called Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism, and we talked about the dating of the books of the New Testament, and I said, "Well, the consensus is that the gospels were written some forty to seventy years after the crucifixion." And he stopped me and said, "Wait a minute, Bishop, that means they couldn't have been written by eyewitnesses."

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it.

I wanted to make a late-night-type show that happened to be in the morning for moms. Bravo was more interested in a blend of my books 'Momzillas' and 'Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut,' which is a collection of nonfiction essays.

The night was at her disposal. She might walk back to Great Mop and arrive very late; or she might sleep out and not trouble to arrive till to-morrow. Whichever she did Mrs Leak would not mind. That was one of the advantages of dealing with witches; they do not mind if you are a little odd in your ways, frown if you are late for meals, fret if you are out all night, pry and commiserate when at length you return. Lovely to be with people who prefer their thoughts to yours, lovely to live at your own sweet will, lovely to sleep out all night!

Career wise, I think the dream for many of us is some kind of late night type of show. Something where you're allowed to be funny and you get to write, you have guests and you get to do silly skits. That is my ultimate, bucket list career moment.

On 'The Daily Show,' we get so caught up in the day-to-day news cycle. A story breaks, and then the piranhas in late night, we all jump to the headline, and we dissect it, and then we have to move on to the next day.

I'd actually rather have a talk show in Australia than even America; I hope I do end up with a talk show.

Thank God I've never been taken to task on a talk-radio show. I won't go on a talk-radio show.

It is hard to imagine the World Series being held in the sweet hazy sunshine of late September rather than the sour night air of late October, but that is precisely what has transpired in baseball over the past 50 years, a deterioration from light to darkness.

I tend to stay up very late at night, so I wake up later in the day. This allows me to be in the middle of my workday when I am onstage at night.

I'm not disciplined in terms of scheduling. I work best late at night, but I can't do that when I'm on a TV show - our hours are roughly 10-6:30, so I have to go to sleep at a reasonable hour. So I'll sometimes write fiction for an hour or two in the evenings, or several hours on the weekend afternoons - unless I'm actively writing a script for the show I'm working on, in which case there's no time to write fiction at all.

There are certain things that don't mix well with MS. One is staying up late at night. Another is big, noisy crowds. Well, campaigns are staying up late at night and big noisy crowds.

For me, the melancholy of the late XXth Century is walking late at night by the Mont Blanc pen store and seeing these things always strike me as simulacra of luxury items. They seem like fakes.

The night before a show, I don't sleep. Really. I've been doing this for 30 years, and the night before a show, I still don't sleep.

Less late night drinking leads to less late night snacks. Drinking definitely leads to bad eating.

If you have a good show, you're happy for the night. If you do a bad night, you feel bad until the next show.

My show is not just a cop hosting a talk show - the two are completely different. My show is about helping people stand up to the bad guy.

I'm on the Internet a lot more than I watch TV and most everybody I know is, and yet if you watch most late-night talk shows, it's as if it doesn't even exist.

You know, I never knew if I had any talent when I started in this business. My first job was being a page at The Tonight Show. I saw Jack Paar come out one night and sit on the edge of his desk and talk about what hed done the night before. I thought, I can do that! I used to do that on a street corner in the Bronx with all my buddies.

When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own.

I try hard not to repeat myself and not to do material other people are doing. We transcribe every other late-night show to make sure there's no similarity.

I want to be a morning-talk-show host. I love Kelly Ripa's job. She gets to live in New York and has this amazing job hosting a talk show.

There have been so many jokes, about sex and relationships on the "Brady Bunch" set. For some reason, tabloids picked up on this Eve thing. I was on a late-night show and I said, "Oh, yeah, I've kissed her."

When you're doing late night you're on the grind every night; you send someone to check on your mom.

They would send me notes on what's going on, and we would pitch in and talk about what we wanted to talk about on the show. I just really did my homework. It was more like a real job for me. Doing this talk show was like, "Wow, this is what they do?!" I can't even imagine doing it every day.

When 'Chappelle's Show' came out, if you didn't watch it on Wednesday night, you had nothing to talk about in high school the next day.

I don't see why anyone should put me down for my job. I'm bright. I'm intelligent. I turn letters - so what? I also talk. I talk on the show! People know my name on the show.

I'm a terrible sleeper because I work all the time. I stay up late almost every night working, whether it's on a TV or live show. I come up with new ideas, do research, watch loads of TED talks, or find psychology articles.

Each show is a very honest portrayal of how I'm feeling that night. It can go off in any direction. The show is different every night, and that makes it much more exciting. Every evening is unique.

There are things I'm never late for. I'm not late for the theater; I'm not late for the movies; I'm not late if my single girlfriend is at a bar somewhere. But if I'm on vacation in Mexico with a bunch of cackling hens, then I'm going to be late for dinner - count on it.

I got a chance to host the 'Late Late Show' for two nights before they hired Craig Ferguson. I enjoyed it, but nothing can replace the thrill of calling an NFC championship game or a Super Bowl or a World Series.

I think Ferguson is underrated. I think it's an amazing show. They all have something different to offer, but I think Craig Ferguson has one of the most interesting monologues in late-night because he basically does stand-up.

At night, I try to sneak in some of the shows that I love. I can't live without '30 Rock' - I was a fan before I joined the show in 2007 - and 'The Office.' 'Revenge' is my drama. And I love Jimmy Kimmel if I can stay up late enough to watch him.

The first time I saw Douglas Sirk was in college. I didn't encounter him on the late, late, late show like a lot of people; people a little older than me, maybe. But I saw him already as someone to take special note of in an academic context in college. I was immediately in a state of visual splendor.

I have the best of both worlds. I can talk about Taylor Swift during the day, and at night I can sit in front of the TV and watch Thursday night football. At some point, if the two converge and it becomes one job where I can still talk about both, that would be amazing.

I came back late last night at the Athlete's Village so I'm a little bit surprised about my time this morning. It's really good and I'm going to race tonight and tomorrow night so I'm excited to see what I can do.

I was never late to a show more often than 'La Cage.' Because I lived close, and I didn't really do anything in that show.

When I used to return in the early morning after late-night programmes, the first people I see on the roads at the break of dawn are sweepers, newspaper vendors and milkmen. Since they were all from my hometown, I would stop to talk to them before going home. So I am quite used to their lifestyle and work.

My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.

You know, I never knew if I had any talent when I started in this business. My first job was being a page at The Tonight Show. I saw Jack Paar come out one night and sit on the edge of his desk and talk about what he'd done the night before. I thought, 'I can do that!' I used to do that on a street corner in the Bronx with all my buddies.

Good evening, America. I'm a woman, and welcome to The Late Late Show.

I live in Spain. Oscars are something that are on TV Sunday night. Basically, very late at night. You don't watch, you just read the news after who won or who lost.

My favorite thing about 'Saturday Night's Main Event,' it was that one time where I could stay up late with my dad and four brothers, and we would all beat the tar out of each other while the show was on, and it was all okay because my dad was a wrestling fan.

I unplug the phone and close the door and just stick with it. I don't ever go out for lunch and I don't take vacations. I like to be awake when no one else is: either just before dawn in the morning or late, late at night. Silence helps.

I wouldn't want to be a talk show host. That's another awkward compliment people make. 'You should have your own talk show.' And I think, no thank you.

There's no job like 'SNL.' There's no other job you go to where you're like, 'Oh, this is like that live, late-night sketch variety-musical show that shoots in, whatever it is, 10,000 feet of sound stage.' There's nothing like it.

Every so often, there is an article saying the old kind of talk show isn't possible now. In the oldest kind of talk show, you only had the choice of that or two other channels!

Whenever a woman says 'We need to talk,' it means she's reached a decision and it's already too late for you to talk back.

My first joke that ever aired on 'Late Night' was for a list of 'Top 10 Least Popular Summer Camps.' My contribution - 'Camp Tick in beautiful Lyme, Connecticut' - squeaked in at No. 10. Like a trip to Camp Tick, my time at 'Late Night' faded into memory like a short session at a dicey summer camp.

There seems to be a vulnerability at the networks in late night. They are losing more and more audience, particularly young viewers who are now looking at cable television. 'Tonight' is an old show. CBS has reruns, and having a public affairs series like 'Nightline' on ABC is a big mistake.

Nixon started auditing late-night show hosts because they were making jokes about him. Then, every single one of their staff got tax audits.

I'm a late-night person who likes to eat a lot of breakfast stuff at night.

Late last night and the night before, tommyknockers, tommyknockers knocking on my door. I wanna go out, don't know if I can 'cuz I'm so afraid of the tommyknocker man.

My favorite time is late at night. I seem to wake up and want to work after 10pm, in my bubble of night.

The only thing that I would say to anyone doing late night shows is - it took me a couple years then - but when you leave the studio, it's over. That's what you really have to do. After a long time, I would be like, "Maybe I shouldn't have said this," or "Maybe I shouldn't have shown this." But eventually, I got to, "Ah, f - k it." That's what it was that night, tomorrow's the next night.