Top 117 Letterman Quotes & Sayings

David Letterman was my guy growing up. My parents recorded the tenth anniversary special for me, and I watched it 40 times.

I'd like to see David Letterman adopt the inclusion rider on his Netflix show.

I hope to do the 'Letterman' show, 'Leno,' all that.

I grew up practically getting into this business because of David Letterman. I wanted to do comedy-based interviews.

In that sense, when a Bush or a Gore, or whomever, goes on David Letterman, that's the news, too.

I've been obsessed with David Letterman forever, and I'd love to be the drag version of David Letterman.

I would like to take this opportunity [on Letterman] just to tell the press to KISS MY SKINNY WHITE ASS!

I'm a big Letterman fan.

I've always loved David Letterman. There was an irreverence to his show that I remember, especially in 'Late Night' - it always seemed so fresh.

Going on Letterman is like going off the high dive. It's exhilarating, but after a while it wasn't the kind of thrill I enjoyed.

I've done 'Letterman' twice and he was friendly, he said hello as he was shaking your hand and in front of the audience, but you never spoke to him before or after.

I've been on Letterman a couple of times. I've been on Leno more than a couple times, and now Letterman hates me because I've been on Leno more than him. They're very jealous of one another, as you know.

Letterman is very intimidating because he's so funny, so you have to be really prepared. Also, he's a little squeamish about certain things, so you have to always be on guard to please him.

I want to be the Letterman of metal. I want five nights a week, Monday to Friday, 11 to 12, live. I always shoot for the moon.

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.

You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24.

The most nerve-wracking experience is an oral presentation in class. And right under that would be doing 'Saturday Night Live' or 'David Letterman.' One of those shows.

David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk.

'The David Letterman Show' is a show of comedy.

I went and saw Letterman when I was 15, and that had a profound impact on me.

The first time I was on Letterman, I was, like, 20 years old, and I was on a show called 'Camping with Barry White Night.'

I gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman's chair. Folks those are some huge shoes to fill, and some really big pants.

I was told David Letterman and Kaufman had heart attacks on the same day: David Letterman's heart attack was at a hospital in NYC. Kaufman's heart attack was at the red light district in Amsterdam, Holland. I think Kaufman had more fun. You're a great artist. I just love the way you painted my portrait.

When I was younger, I was emulating David Letterman. David Letterman would yell out of his office window with a megaphone, and the next thing I'm doing is standing on the roof of a parking garage with a megaphone.

I would watch a lot of old tapes of David Letterman doing his talk show and a lot of interviews. I never had a mentor in my career because my approach has always been so different. Letterman stayed true to who he was, and his staff was always fantastic, so for me, that was always important.

I'd watched a lot of David Letterman for sure. As far as who I watched as a late-show host, it was definitely Letterman.

Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.

On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime.

Letterman... he got his problems. We don't get along too well.

You don't just win an Oscar because you're a great actor. You campaign for that Oscar: you engage with it; you go on the David Letterman show, and you do the interviews, and that's how you get out there.

I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.

When I was 15 I did birdcalls on the David Letterman show, but I have since burned all video evidence of this.

CBS is proud to have been the home of David Letterman since 1993. He is truly one of the great talents of our time, and we hope things work out.

I went on the 'Letterman' show the first time to plug something, and then I came back as the Fool, the court jester.

I stick with a '60s vintage aesthetic of letterman's jackets, plain T-shirts, and good jeans.

I have a great career, and no matter what I am doing, a big blockbuster movie... or my small documentary, David Letterman will call and say I would like you to sit on my couch.

We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.

David Letterman used to say, 'I wasn't the class clown, but I wrote for him,' and that's exactly it. You want to be known to be funny without having it pointed out.

At the very beginning, I was a page at Letterman, and I freelanced for any place that would let me write any word. I wanted to do this so badly.

Hey, you know what, I've gotta go on that 'Letterman' show. That show is so lame.

Letterman, despite whatever idiotic (or worse?) things he may have done with women on his staff, was wise enough to realize that silence isn't permanent and peace of mind can't be bought.

Certainly there were so many different people I had as heroes growing up. Steve Martin is always my number one. David Letterman's show, that was important. And 'Saturday Night Live,' obviously.

In the world of late-night comics, Letterman made us feel any hometown boy from Indianapolis could poke fun at celebrities and politicians and do it right to their faces.

My manager's biggest dream is for me to be on Letterman. She says, 'Oh, Maggie, will you promise me you'll be on 'Letterman?' What can I say? I just tell her I can't promise, but I'll try my best.

My manager's biggest dream is for me to be on Letterman. She says, 'Oh, Maggie, will you promise me you'll be on 'Letterman?” What can I say? I just tell her I can't promise, but I'll try my best.

I was a huge David Letterman fan, even going back to when he was on NBC. My parents would only let me watch a half hour of television a day, so I would record Letterman the night before and then watch it when I came home from school. That's what made me want to do a T.V. show.

I've never been a TV junkie. I remember watching Letterman way back when he had a morning show.

I've been invited to appear on Letterman, but they wanted me to talk about a funny videotape of Congress. 'Bring us your outtakes!' That's not our job.

When I was a comic in the 1980s, I was on the road somewhere every day, and I'd get back to the hotel, and it was Carson and Letterman, and I looked forward to that all day.

I don't know about you, but I can never get enough David Letterman.

I watch Letterman. Once in a while, on the odd night, I'll catch the Food Network and watch 'Ace of Cakes,' which I'm kind of obsessed with.

Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.

When I was growing up, I wanted to do Letterman and I loved that live, in-studio model. I still would do something like that.

Welcome to the program. My name is Dave Letterman, and tonight I'm giving my two-week notice.

I think the first time I was on The David Letterman Show, he didn't quite know what to expect. I think people generally are just a little afraid.

I watch Jay. I watch 'Letterman'. I flip back and forth between 'Conan' and 'Letterman', especially the top of the show for those guys.

I've done things like Letterman and Jimmy Fallon.

There's nobody telling Oprah what to do. There's no one telling David Letterman what he can and can't do. You've got to have 100 percent support from everybody who's behind the show, across the board.

Did you know David Letterman was offered millions of dollars to do a commercial for dog food?

Lenny Bruce did clean TV. You have to be able to do that, I think, to succeed because if you want to promote something, you go on 'The Tonight Show' or 'Letterman' or whatever, you can't be dirty.