Top 1200 Marriage Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 15

I like to respond with jokes and to keep it as light as possible.

You told me you believed marriage was for other people." "You're the only man who could make me believe that it's for me, too. Although when you get down to it, love is what's real. I still say marriage is just a piece of paper." Jack smiled. "Let's find out," he said, and he pulled me down to the bed with him. Jack & Ella

Hopefully, underlying all my jokes is an element of surprise.

The United States is in a time of transition. Courts have redefined marriage, and beliefs about human sexuality are changing. Will the right to dissent be protected? Will the right of Americans to speak and act in accord with what the United States had always believed about marriage - that it's a union of husband and wife - be tolerated?

My marriage is my marriage, and it means I'm able to share in the same aspirations of commitment and love and support and dedication and connectedness, and that my parents are able to dance at our wedding and that our family and friends are able to support and celebrate and hold us accountable for the commitment we've made to one another. That takes nothing away from anyone else.

The Crimean War is one of the bad jokes of history.

Marriage is not a love affair. A love affair has to do with immediate personal satisfaction. Marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding, time and again. That's why it's a sacrament; You give up your personal simplicity to participate in a relationship. And when you're giving, you're not giving to the other person; you're giving to the relationship.

Betty White jokes are just not for me.

Cougar jokes are now as hackneyed as airplane food.

Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

I love telling myself jokes. I think I'm a riot.

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

Granting our wish is one of Fate's saddest jokes.

Mathematics is a collection of cheap tricks and dirty jokes.

I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one...

I have gay friends in my life who are conservative. I have gay friends in my life who are for gay marriage and against gay marriage. I believe in an open and free debate.

I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can't.

A difference of taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.

I always like to make some jokes, sometimes.

I base my happiness on the relationships in my life. I would rather have the absolute worst acting career or, I don't know, whatever the worst job would be... picking up radioactive material? I would much rather have that and a good marriage than a horrible marriage and a brilliant career. That's just not a trade off I'd make.

I think marriage is between a man and a woman. I think we're all created equal in God's eyes, I think we need to respect and love those we disagree with. I think we can have religious liberty without discrimination. My views on marriage aren't evolving with the polls. It's based on my faith, I think it should remain between a man and a woman.

Gratuitous fat jokes always hurt, no matter what.

I'm not a man who constantly thinks up jokes.

I tell jokes to pay my green fees.

All I ever wanted to do was tell jokes for a living.

All crises, once averted, become jokes.

We only ever write jokes that amuse us.

It is not we as individuals, then, who must bend uncomfortably around the institution of marriage; rather, it is the institution of marriage that has to bend uncomfortably around us.

The chief cause of unhappiness in married life is that people think that marriage is sex attraction, which takes the form of promises and hopes and happiness - a view supported by public opinion and by literature. But marriage cannot cause happiness. Instead, it is always torture, which man has to pay for satisfying his sex urge.

Everyone can write jokes and makes things clever.

No one would wish a bad marriage on anyone. But where do we think good marriages come from? They don't spring full blown from the head of Zeus any more than does a good education...Why should a marriage require fewer tears and less toil and shabbier commitment than your job or your clothes or your car?

The marriage institution cannot exist among slaves, and one sixth of the population of democratic America is denied it's privileges by the law of the land. What is to be thought of a nation boasting of its liberty, boasting of it's humanity, boasting of its Christianity, boasting of its love of justice and purity, and yet having within its own borders three millions of persons denied by law the right of marriage?

The shouting and opinion and jokes don't exist if there isn't first a story.

I want to clarify it: I'm not against marriage, marriage is great if you want to get married. A lot of my friends are happily married. I don't think walking down the aisle and [having] a legal document can make a difference. That doesn't mean you love someone more or you respect them more - you can be with someone perfectly well without being married.

I think it's almost immoral to keep on with a marriage that's really bad. It just gets more and more rotten and vindictive and everybody gets more and more hurt. There's not enough honesty about marriage, I think. I wish more people would face the truth about their marital situations.

Whenever I'm sick, my doctor jokes that I have Beiber Fever!

Come. We must go deeper with no justice and no jokes.

When I'm telling jokes, I'm constantly in motion. I can't stand in one place.

If the social evolution leads to jokes, I use them.

People that do "bits" and "jokes" or "one-liners" are going by the wayside.

Pulled pork jokes never get old.

Sure, I'm sensitive about my weight. I don't do fat jokes.

My best jokes are so cheap. All I do is say things sarcastically.

My jokes are pretty over the top sometimes.

I never tell jokes out of malice.

My whole life, I've been telling jokes.

Our marriage, like many others, has had its ups and its downs. It took a lot of work and a whole lot of therapy to get to a place where I could forgive Anthony. It was not an easy choice in any way. But I made the decision that it was worth staying in this marriage. That was a decision I made for me, for our son and for our family.

I tell jokes, chat with people, and make stuff.

For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.

The only kind of marriage liberals had ever glorified is the gay kind. But thanks to Michael Schiavo, the sanctity of marriage is fast becoming a liberal sacrament, with the proviso it has to involve 'mercy killing.' It took Michael Schiavo's devoted efforts to starve and dehydrate his wife to restore liberal faith in the institution.

There's a difference between hiring writers and stealing jokes.

I could never sit down and write jokes.

I love the institution of marriage, and I love my marriage.

Conservatives believe in the ties that bind us. Society is stronger when we make vows to each other and we support each other. I don't support gay marriage in spite of being a conservative. I support gay marriage because I am a conservative.

Fat jokes aren't relevant, but they're hilarious when you find them.

I've never really told jokes. I'm not good at it.

I'm pretty goofy. I laugh at my own jokes.

I'm one of the people who actually laughs at everyone else's jokes!

Divorce Myths: 1. When love has gone out of a marriage, it is better to get divorced. 2. It is better for the children for the unhappy couple to divorce than to raise their children in the atmosphere of an unhappy marriage. 3. Divorce is the lesser of two evils. 4. You owe it to yourself. 5. Everyone's entitled to one mistake. 6. God led me to this divorce.

My favourite things are jokes, friendliness and feeling comfortable.