Top 1200 Marriage Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 18

I don't have any writers. I never get a laugh with somebody else's jokes. I can't do it justice.

I have five boys in the family, and it's constant competition, sport, humor, and practical jokes.

I did the commencement speech at UNH in 2006, and one of the biggest jokes was a 'Guts' joke.

I just try to be as nice as possible and make fun of myself and laugh at the jokes.

There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes.

No other human relationship can approach the potential for intimacy and oneness than can be found within the context of a marriage commitment. And yet no other relationship can bring with it as many adjustments, difficulties and even hurts. There's no way you can avoid these difficulties; each couple's journey is unique. But there is much you can do to prepare for that journey. An engagement is not just a time of preparation for a wedding, but also preparation for a marriage.

I only have eight jokes, but I can do 'em over a two-hour period of time.

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.

I like questions that tee me up to make weird jokes, frankly.

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

It was one of God's jokes that such a dumb mind had been put in such an eloquent body.

If you think it's easy to write jokes about fried calamari, you've probably never tried.

Growing up, the one thing I noticed was that everyone seemed to laugh at my jokes wherever I went.

It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.

Johnny Carson started the jokes about me and Marlin in his monologues.

Part of what I do comes from the fact that I don't know any jokes to tell. And when I do they're really flat and don't work.

There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind.

I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.

I knew how to come up with jokes at someone's expense really fast.

Personally - and I don't mean to brag - my jokes have been falling flat for most of my life.

My leg was pulled on social media with memes and jokes due to my 'sanskaari' image.

Like faith, marriage is a mystery. The person you're committed to spending your life with is known and yet unknown, at the same time remarkably intimate and necessarily other. The classic seven-year itch may not be a case of familiarity breeding ennui and contempt, but the shock of having someone you thought you knew all too well suddenly seem a stranger. When that happens, you are compelled to either recommit to the relationship or get the hell out. There are many such times in a marriage.

I've always been 'ethnic friend,' without any serious moments, all jokes.

God alone created marriage. Adam slept through the entire ceremony. Eve came in late. It seems to me men are still sleeping through marriage, and women are still coming to their senses a little too late. God alone performed that ceremony, and He alone can hold it together.

Throughout the last century there were multiple attempts at giving Afghan women more autonomy, to change marriage laws, to abolish the practice of bride price and child marriage, and to enforce women to be involved in school. Every time, the reaction from the traditionalists was one of contempt and scorn and at times outright rebellion. I think the emancipation of women in Afghanistan has to come from inside, through Afghans themselves, gradually, over time.

The wonder of marriage is woven into the wonder of the gospel of the cross of Christ, and the message of the cross is foolishness to the natural man, and so the meaning of marriage is foolishness to the natural man.

It's really stupid to defend your own jokes. That is for other people to do if they choose to.

The subconscious doesn't distinguish sarcasm and jokes. It just accepts what it hears. That's the power of words.

Plato was only a Bernard Shaw who unfortunately made his jokes in Greek.

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

Humor is an attitude, a survivor’s way of looking at life. It’s not about telling jokes.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

If people get their feelings hurt from jokes, then they are too delicate to be in society.

A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.

The mother-in-laws themselves weren't natural jokes but most comedians used to use that.

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.

None of my comedy depended on looks. I never did tons of fat jokes.

And there'd be no more jokes in Music-halls To mock the riddled corpses round Bapaume.

Our country's social revolution lends itself to jokes and I use them.

Even 'Lord of the Rings' had dwarf-tossing jokes in it. It's like, 'Really?'

I tell a lot of fart and poop jokes. I can't help it. I have no filter, and it just comes out.

I have a very good sense of humour. I love telling jokes, especially on the golf course.

We recognize that same-sex marriage makes some people deeply uncomfortable. However, inertia and apprehension are not legitimate bases for denying same-sex couples due process and equal protection of the laws. Civil marriage is one of the cornerstones of our way of life. It allows individuals to celebrate and publicly declare their intentions to form lifelong partnerships, which provide unparalleled intimacy, companionship, emotional support and security.

In one fell swoop we can now see the same mental health benefits of marriage for same sex couples as heterosexual couples, the main reason there is a benefit to being in a legally recognized marriage is that it introduces a level of stability into a relationship. This is going to help change the social climate. Hearing the Supreme Court say this is OK will help couples feel like they're part of regular society.

A lot of people [are] saying civil union," Faried told KDVR. "I don't like it being called that because I can get married to a female and it can be called a marriage. Why can't a female be married to a female and male be married to a male and it be called a marriage? You still have the same thing, same love and happiness.

I think writers have become hypnotised by the number of jokes on the page at the expense of character.

I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.

In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

Check out the very best of Hollywood jokes that will make you laugh

The best jokes on The Leftovers are the ones that make you feel a little sick to your stomach.

All humour is critical, you know? You make stupid jokes. I mean, stupidity is an infirmity, isn't it?

I'm not here to affect you politically or socially. I'm here to make you laugh. I use the news as the palette for my jokes.

Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.

I don't think that in humor and jokes, in whatever way they are done, there is any kind of disrespect.

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.

If you didn't believe in objective truth, arguments would be just toys, or games, or jokes.

I feel like comedy is where I'm most at ease, but I also have an allergy to silly jokes.

I'm not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

Even if you know a character really well, there's no formula for what jokes will work and what won't.