Top 1200 Marriage Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 19

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.

Girls who use jokes to be nasty are often hiding other feelings they are struggling to express.

I crack jokes and play games and that's really more my nature than being cold.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

Working at the magic shop really gave me a sense of comedy because it was all jokes.

In countries where there is no marriage, there is no duty between husband and wife; when marriage comes, husband and wife live together on account of attachment; and that kind of living together becomes settled after generations; and when it becomes so settled, it becomes a duty.

I think there's too many gay jokes in comedy and not enough honest explorations of sexuality.

My memoirs are full of humor, I had to change jokes because it was a little too dark.

I guess the tone of jokes is often, at best, irreverent, but it always comes from a place of deep love.

I did see the Soul Train picture. That was interesting. I've heard all the jokes. I had it coming.

If I could email my jokes to the crowd and get the same immediate response [as during stand-up], I'd do that.

It's neat seeing people that aren't necessarily part of my demographic who really get the jokes. I love it.

If I want to keep working as an actor, I'm going to become a comedian who does fart jokes.

I'm Irish, so I'm messing all the time. Which means, I'm having a laugh. I'm always making jokes.

I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.

The main jokes in this film are about big things, love and life and zombies - we all get that.

You know, OK, I made a few jokes - and they killed 3000 Americans. Fair trade.

My life is passed in making bad jokes and seeing them turn into true prophecies.

As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking.

Democrats are like a big tortoise that's on its back and can't get up; you can't make jokes about that.

Every comedian feels out an audience. As you're telling jokes, if they're not laughing at this, you change the subject.

Woody says I can make jokes, but I don't get them - I'm always looking deeper for the meanings.

I guess I'm like Roger Miller who used to say that he didn't have as many jokes as he thought he did.

I could never be a politician. But as uncomfortable as I would be doing so, I have no problem with Obama's long-planned 'change of heart.' This dude's made huge, measurable strides for gay rights, and if being coy about his plans for gay marriage for a few years was needed to get him elected, then so be it. LGBT persons will be better off, and federal same-sex marriage recognition will come sooner because of it.

I like the idea of using cool cyberpunk stuff to tell really stupid jokes.

A marriage bound together by commitments to exploit the other for filling one's own needs (and I fear that most marriages are built on such a basis) can legitimately be described as a "tic on a dog" relationship. Just as a hungry tic clamps on to a nourishing host in anticipation of a meal, so each partner unites with the other in the expectation of finding what his or her personal nature demands. The rather frustrating dilemma, of course, is that in such a marriage there are two tics and no dog!

It's a very short walk to go from making jokes to getting on a soapbox and going on a diatribe.

I see myself as a huge dork that laughs at my own jokes and forgets to shower sometimes.

Kyriakos Papadopoulos is really funny. So is Karim Bellarabi. They are full of jokes in the dressing room.

You can make jokes but [ George Clooney] is everything that anyone's ever said about him.

I love films that make you feel something but also deliver that payload behind jokes.

There is no such thing as too much fun. People need to know it is O.K. to tell jokes and be happy.

I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.

They are "sexcellent". That is a pun for you, you will find lots of puns on the internet! Also: blonde jokes.

I grew up in the projects. You have no choice but to fight. My jokes used to get me in fights.

Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.

Women are often pushed into the idea that they write softer, more character-driven jokes.

Nine out of 10 English chefs have their names on their chests. Who do they think they are? They're dreamers. They're jokes.

When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.

My greatest regret as a writer is that I've never been able to include as many jokes as I'd like.

I make terrible jokes every time I go into a hospital. I think it's a defence mechanism.

I'm sure there are comedians who make jokes about me, but say something funny, not mean.

I'm kind of a nerd. A square. And I'm terrible at telling jokes. I always forget the punch line.

Marriage is work. Get it out of your thick skull that marriage is, 'Oh, we got married and now we just live forever wonderfully.' It's work. It's just like starting a business: You're going to bicker with your business partner, but you don't leave the business partner. You work it out.

In marriage you got to go through the same struggles as a relationship, that's if the relationship is real, because there's a lot of non-real relationships going on in the world right now. And I think that's just because of the day and age we're in, a lot of these relationships are taking place over text messages, it's not real substance. But when you got a real one, it's already like a marriage.

In Ephesians 5, Paul shows us that even on earth Jesus did not use his power to oppress us but sacrificed everything to bring us into union with him. And this takes us beyond the philosophical to the personal and the practical. If God had the gospel of Jesus's salvation in mind when he established marriage, then marriage only 'works' to the degree that approximates the pattern of God's self-giving love in Christ.

Pixar make kids' movies, but there are jokes in there for adults, and it never gets too sentimental.

I don't really write jokes down. I tend to have a premise that I work out and test on stage.

My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage - although I realize I'm supposed to punctuate it with jokes.

I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.

Small things make me happy, and I laugh out loud on the silliest of jokes!

Even the people who do great jokes, [it's] always coming out of a very real place.

I know I make a lot of jokes about Mike Jones, but I don't even have no hatred for him.

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.

Focus on your marriage. Because that's the nucleus of the home, whatever you do to restore its health and strength will naturally restore what's broken among the other relationships. If you have no children yet, this will make a comfortable nest for them to begin life well. If you have children, the changes you make in your marriage will affect the rest of the household more quickly and dramatically than you think.

Times change. The farmer's daughter now tells jokes about the traveling salesman.

I was a bit of a show-off at school. I told jokes a lot because I wanted to have friends.

I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I to play jokes on people and be sarcastic.

I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.