Top 1200 Marriage Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 4

I was a happy person before marriage. I'm definitely happier after marriage.

I think the government should be out of the marriage business and leave marriage to the churches.

White people made up the n-word, they knew about racial jokes before anybody, and in their old movies and old cartoons they made fun of everybody, especially black folks. Racial jokes were not new to them.

You hear a lot of jokes every once in a while about 'Silent Cal Coolidge.' The joke is on the people who make the jokes. Look at his record. He cut the taxes four times. We had probably the greatest growth and prosperity that we've ever known. I have taken heed of that because if he did that by doing nothing, maybe that's the answer.

Dealing with boys at work and being the only girl can be challenging. I have my insecurities, but I've learned I have to be a good sport. I have to be able to take certain jokes and not take them personally. There are jokes made almost every second of the day. I had to develop a tough hide. You know, the music industry is dominated by guys.

The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.

Sometimes the greatest deterrent to a great marriage is believing you have a perfect marriage.

I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then I try to fit them in.

Marriage is very secure. It is safe. There is no growth in it. One is simply stuck. Marriage is a sexual arrangement; intimacy is a search for love. Marriage is a sort of prostitution, a permanent sort. One has got married to a woman or to a man - it is a permanent prostitution. The arrangement is economical, not psychological, not of the heart.

Each marriage has to be judged separately, and we never know what's going on in another person's marriage.

Marriage is amazing, and I wish every person on this planet to have a blissful marriage.

Ruth and I don't have a perfect marriage, but we have a great one. How can I say two things that seem so contradictory? In a perfect marriage, everything is always the finest and best imaginable; like a Greek statue, the proportions are exact and the finish is unblemished. Who knows any human being lke that? For a marriage couple to expect perfection in each other is unrealistic.

I love the idea of marriage. I definitely want marriage and little Kellans running around.

The conservative argument for marriage includes a recognition of the traditional value of marriage as a stabilizing force in society.

The American woman's concept of marriage is a clearly etched picture of something uninflated on the floor. A sleeping-bag withoutair, a beanbag without beans, a padded bra without pads. To work on it, you start pumping--what the magazines call "breathing life into your marriage." Do enough of this and the marriage becomes a kind of Banquo's ghost, a quasi-living entity.

People told me it was a mistake to marry so young but you can't go into a marriage thinking that because the divorce statistics are so high your marriage won't last. You have to work at it day by day. Though certainly marriage isn't a final, heavy commitment, like signing your life away. It's the type of thing you can always get out of.

Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce.

Gender no longer forms an essential part of marriage; marriage under law is a union of equals.

Those who enter into marriage, must be fully prepared to establish their marriage, as the first priority in their lives.

Many Americans believe marriage is between a man and a woman, and we need to celebrate marriage as the best way to provide stability for children. For people who live by the clear teaching of many different faith traditions and people who simply believe in the sanctity of marriage, it is essential that their views are respected.

What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.

I was one of the first senators to support marriage equality, and led the effort to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

Marriage is so unlike everything else. There is something even awful in the nearness it brings. Even if we loved someone else better than - than those we were married to, it would be no use. I mean, marriage drinks up all our power of giving or getting any blessedness in that sort of love. I know it may be very dear, but it murders our marriage, and then the marriage stays with us like a murder, and everything else is gone.

I've written four jokes ever about cakes. But because they were show jokes, they were on the telly a lot. And everywhere I go people give me cupcakes. I don't eat them, I give them away.

You have comedians who just do jokes, and they're called comics, not comedians. You have comedians that do bits - a person that has a lot of jokes that have a beginning, a middle and an end, but it's not a real story. And you have someone that does great stories, the one that blends those things together - that person is doing comedy.

When I was a kid, I would do Andrew Dice Clay jokes for my siblings. Like, we'd be on vacation, and I'd just recite Andrew Dice Clay jokes. They seemed to think that was pretty funny. Then it evolved into 'Wayne's World.'

To me, the difference between a good marriage and a great marriage is conviction.

Marriage of attraction is a gamble anyway, so you might as well marry into a family that is similar to your own, and make that much less of an adjustment. But the 'love marriage', as it is called, is equally common in India now. But it would be interesting to do a comparison of what would work better. Marriage is hard work, and it is a gamble.

Marriage includes a spouse, and often children. But the goal, center, and purpose of marriage is not self, spouse, or children. The ultimate goal of marriage and family is the glory of God. Only when marriage and family exist for God's glory - and not to serve as replacement idols - are we able to truly love and be loved. Remember, neither your child nor your husband (or wife) should be who you worship, but instead who you worship with.

No marriage can survive without forgiveness. Marriage is a long term commitment between two sinners.

It's none of my business what somebody's [orientation is]. Now when somebody makes it my business, like on gay marriage, I'm going to stand up and say I don't support gay marriage. I support marriage between men and women.

I think marriage becomes a great mirror. My selfishness comes out in my marriage all the time.

I'd like to have a successful marriage, not for the sake of labelling or branding, but because I believe in the institution of marriage.

Marriage? I don't know what I really think about marriage. I'm a bit confused on that issue.

Honestly speaking, after seeing my parents' marriage, I have lost all faith in marriage.

It's terrible to be trapped in a bad marriage. It would be nice if your marriage was forever, but why grudge it for what it was not?

I think a marriage is as a marriage has always been, between a man and a woman.

It works much like a marriage, an old marriage. You've got to work on it.

I used to tell jokes about Internet-enabled lightbulbs. I can't tell jokes about it anymore - there already is an Internet-connected lightbulb.

The secret to a happy marriage is a sense of humor, because marriage throws you curveballs. It is not easy.

Marriage is simply an economic necessity, and so there are no elaborate courtship displays or marriage celebrations among the Eskimo.

Marriage is not defined by who is denied it. When gay people share in the freedom to marry, it doesn't change your marriage.

marriage is an extraordinary thing - and I doubt if any outsider - even a child of the marriage - has the right to judge.

The problem of unmet expectations in marriage is primarily a problem of stereotyping. Each and every human being on this planet is a unique person. Since marriage is inevitably a relationship between two unique people, no one marriage is going to be exactly like any other. Yet we tend to wed with explicit visions of what a “good” marriage ought to be like. Then we suffer enormously from trying to force the relationship to fit the stereotype and from the neurotic guilt and anger we experience when we fail to pull it off.

I have never said that love is destroyed by marriage. How can marriage destroy love? Yes, it is destroyed in marriage, but it is destroyed by you, not by marriage. It is destroyed by the partners. How can marriage destroy love? It is you who destroy it, because you don't know what love is. You simply pretend to know, you simply hope that you know, you dream that you know, but you don't know what love is. Love has to be learned; it is the greatest art there is.

My parents are really funny. Laughter was a big part of my childhood. Of course, they tell a lot of bad jokes - but so do I. I tell a lot of bad jokes.

I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. I am not in favor of gay marriage.

Marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman. I don't think it is the role of the state to define what marriage is.

But people try love and because they are unconscious... their longing is good, but their love is full of jealousy, full of possessiveness, full of anger, full of nastiness. Soon they destroy it. Hence for centuries they have depended on marriage. Better to start by marriage so that the law can protect you from destroying it. The society, the government, the court, the policeman, the priest, they will all force you to live in the institution of marriage, and you will be just a slave. If marriage is an institution, you are going to be a slave in it. Only slaves want to live in institutions.

One of the favorite conservative themes is that the cure for poverty is more marriage and earlier marriage. We hear that all the time; there have been billions of dollars now, between the Bush administration and the Obama administration, which has continued the marriage education program, on trying to get more people to get married.

It takes both spouses to say, "My self-centeredness is the main problem in my marriage" to have a great marriage.

Marriage or non-marriage, good or evil, learning or ignorance, any of these is justified, if it leads to the goal.

I'm endlessly fascinated by parenting, marriage, my wife and the ins and outs of marriage.

One of the differences between marriage and prostitution is that in marriage you only have to make a deal with one man.

It is obvious that all sense has gone out of modern marriage; which is, however, no objection to marriage but to modernity.

'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that now. Teenage American movies are all about sick jokes, puking a lot, arse jokes.

You will often be in despair. You will sometimes think it's the worst decision in your life. That's fine. That's not a sign your marriage has gone wrong. It's a sign that it's normal; it's on track. And many of the hopes that took you into the marriage will have to die in order for the marriage to continue.

Marriage is so much like salvation and our relationship with Christ that you can’t understand marriage w/o looking at the gospel.

O marriage! marriage! what a curse is thine, Where hands alone consent and hearts abhor.

Religion exists not because of God or for God; it is because of marriage. Marriage creates so much misery that one has to meditate; meditation is a byproduct. Without marriage, who will bother to meditate? For what? You will be already blissful!