Top 1200 Old Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 15

The foolishness of old age does not characterize all who are old, but only the foolish.

I've been a 90-year-old man since I was 12 years old.

It is with an old love as it is with old age a man lives to all the miseries, but is dead to all the pleasures.

I'd rather be a silly old fool than a lonely old woman.

Dropkicks are old moves, but I wanted to make a new version of an old move.

If a comic laughs at their own jokes, I don't like it. They shouldn't find it funny; they should seriously believe in this stupid thing they're saying.

My hobby is old 4x4's, you know, old Blazers and Broncos and stuff.

You will be old-fashioned one day. It's more shocking than getting old.

...it is so silly of people to fancy that old age means crookedness and witheredness and feebleness and sticks and spectacles and rheumatism and forgetfulness! It is so silly! Old age has nothing whatever to do with all that. The right old age means strength and beauty and mirth and courage and clear eyes and strong painless limbs.

The fear of old age disturbs us, yet we are not certain of becoming old.

Whenever they rebuild an old building, they must first of all destroy the old one.

I don't think there would be many jokes, if there weren't constant frustration and fear and so forth. It's a response to bad troubles like crime.

You're old when you're old. Why should you be limited by someone else's expectations?

I heard the old, old, men say 'all that's beautiful drifts away, like the waters.'

I suppose the old natural stuff would be ok, the old mushroom, but I wouldn't advise anyone to do it.

Nobody is ever too old to dream. And dreams never grow old.

I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.

When we are young we lay up for old age; when we are old we save for death.

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

They think I'm too old to cause trouble. Old age is a powerful disguise.

Ah, the old questions, the old answers, there's nothing like them!

How old are you? I asked her. "Old enough to know better." she said.

Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

People make a lot of jokes about the empty nest. Let me tell you, it is no laughing matter. It is really hard.

When you can make others laugh with jokes that belittle no one and your words always unite, Hafiz will vote for you to be God.

I like grown-up comedy, where it's about character and attitude and life as opposed to obvious gross-out and jokes.

I want to work endlessly and tirelessly until I'm an old, old lady.

There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

I have never wanted to live to be old, so old I'd run out of friends or money.

Buy Old Masters. They fetch a much better price than old mistresses.

Old carts can be repainted but they still keep moving in the same old ruts

I became deaf when I was 18 months old. And I learned to sign when I was 5 years old.

old emotions like old families have intermarried and have many connections.

It will profit you nothing to remember old wrongs and nurse old enmities.

Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise.

Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead.

Spring was coming back with the old promise, demanding the old sacrifice.

Old sciences are unraveled like old stockings, by beginning at the foot.

Though I've turned 21, I don't drink. I'm an old hag now. I'm just an old fart.

The only people who grow old were born old to begin with.

I've told everyone that I grew old on 'Hee Haw,' but I could've grown old without it.

How do you tell your mother that you feel you're getting... old? If I'm... old, then what is she?

An old belief is like an old shoe. We so value its comfort that we fail to notice the hole in it.

Everyone was doing alternative comedy. I thought I'd distinguish myself by just telling jokes, with differing degrees of success.

I don't suppose God laughs at the people who think He doesn't exist. He's above jokes. But the devil isn't. That's one of his most endearing qualities.

In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in America.

I'm waiting to get old - I think old guys with tattoos look good.

I think old people should just be old and go away.

We had an old Victrola with the old bulldog they used to have there. The horn would come out.

Despite my being an old gypsy there is a tendency to respectability inherent in old age.

The reason old man use Viagra is not that they are impotent. It's that old women are so very ugly.

I'm still old-fashioned. I love dusty old books and libraries.

If you try to hold onto the old trends, then you'll look old.

I love old gardens best- tired old garden that rest in the sun.

The only game I like to play is "Old Maid", providing she's not too old

I could never be a professional comedian, 'cause you have to keep telling the same jokes. For me, they're like word solos.

Do not call yourself old. A man is as old as the creative force within him.

Who is there who has not felt a sudden startled pang at reliving an old experience or feeling an old emotion?

Everyone is trying to say, 'This is Gen Y; we're not an old company. We're not doing old content.'

Besides, old ladies are always right. That's how they get to be so old. It's one of those things.