Top 1200 Old Jokes Quotes & Sayings - Page 17

All I know is that we are loaded down with old and stale stuff - habits, customs, old attitudes already dead and gone.

I don't remember not singing. I started when I was, I don't know how - what, two years old, or a year old or something like that.

When you have a cast and crew of people who make it light hearted and crack jokes, and break treats, and understand that we are all in this together. That's a biggest plus that you can have.

Yes'm, old friends is always best, 'less you can catch a new one that's fit to make an old one out of.

It is the quality of revolutions not to go by old lines or old laws; but to break up both, and make new ones.

Before, I didn't do celebrity stuff, 'cause Kathy Griffin did that, but now, if you're going to make jokes on Twitter, you have to stay current.

Time was when people used to brag about how old they were - and I am old enough to remember it.

My childhood was great because my family has an amazing sense of humor, and it was just all making videos and jokes and doing skits and things.

Catholic media sucks. It's boring. It's for old people. It's not interesting. It's like you're in a class with an 80 year old nun.

Do not try to lead men who are unwilling to follow you; if their heart is not in it, you will never find the old spirit or the old courage.

It was the 60th anniversary of 'Face the Nation.' During his interview, President Obama said, 'Our country doesn't fear the future. We grab it.' Nothing says you grab the future like going on a 60-year-old show hosted by a 77-year-old-man to speak to a 90-year-old audience.

I guess my idea of a good audience is one that's quiet and listens, but also that's alive: they respond, they're getting the jokes, they're with me. And that' s been happening.

I'm an old-fashioned guy... I want to be an old man with a beer belly sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something.

The doctor said that every man will have cancer if he lives to be old enough. I don't know why I got it - I ain't old.

I've got a few great old Marshalls that I use live: '71 and '72 heads and an old combo with 2x12s.

Lay this unto your breast: Old friends, like old swords, still are trusted best.

For my own part, I had rather be old only a short time than be old before I really am so.

Right now, the old guys, the old farts, if you will, are still running the show, and the women haven't gotten their place yet at all.

The old men know when an old man dies.

My jokes aren't predicated on my weight that much. I talk about it some, but it's definitely not the focus, so I don't feel any pressure to stay big.

there are no old people in California. Nobody ever gets a chance to grow old there. The climate won't let you. The scenery won't let you. The life won't let you.

Old secrets are like old wounds; they fester.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Rob and I both have this strange sense of comedy which always involves us being the butt of our own jokes.

Looking into blood doping. I think it will allow me to write jokes with greater intensity, and for a longer period of time.

I was a very bad accountant. I knew the book theory, but I didn't have the heart for it. I did it for six months, and my job was to distract the auditors with jokes.

Hell, I'm an old man. I'm 70 years old. I'm supposed to be sitting on a rocking chair watching the sunset.

I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

I do not make jokes about Sarah Palin simply because I could not live in this world if I believed she was a real person.

What’s old doesn’t need to be old-fashioned. It gets reborn.

I think we'll still be a family restaurant, we'll be contemporary, we'll be lifestyle, we won't be old, we won't be 60 years old in the view of the consumer.

I first read science fiction in the old British Chum annual when I was about 12 years old.

Hold the door for an old man. Old ladies can take care of themselves; they've been doing it long enough.

It is a quality of revolutions not to go by old lines or old laws, but to break up both and make new ones.

If you're old enough to have a job and to have a life, you use Facebook exactly as advertised, you look up old friends.

We grow too old to lose old friends.

The qualities that make parties such a nightmare for people - and also so pleasurable - make them incredibly important inside of fiction. There's a chaos agent quality to them: You just don't know who's going to be there or why. You could run into an old enemy, an old friend, an old friend who's become an enemy.

When people become elders - when they're older; they can be old without being an elder, really. They [can] just be old and not very useful.

To be old is to be part of a huge and ordinary multitude... the reason why old age was venerated in the past was because it was extraordinary.

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

I remember when I made my first album, I was 32 or 33 years old and I thought I was way too old then.

There are more old drunkards than old physicians.

Every old sock meets an old shoe

The reason of idleness and of crime is the deferring of our hopes. Whilst we are waiting, we beguile the time with jokes, with sleep, with eating, and with crimes.

I've been writing jokes since I'm fifteen. Not out of happiness, but to go to a different place, because reality wasn't good to me.

On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly have.

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Just like old librarians, old coins are often more valuable than they appear at face value.

Some of our jokes we made up on the fly. I love Lecrae; we have been friends for a while and he is just one of my favorite people.

The old brown hen and the old blue sky, Between the two we live and die The broken cartwheel on the hill.

And I, stepping from this skin Of old bandages, boredoms, old faces Step to you from the black car of Lethe, Pure as a baby.

Old homes! old hearts! Upon my soul forever Their peace and gladness lie like tears and laughter.

I don't remember not singing. I started when I was, I don't know how - what, two years old or a year old or something like that.

When you're old you feast on your memories, and if you spend too much time on exercise, you may get old and not have many.

I tend to process stuff by making jokes about it. It's something that makes me annoying to be around in times of real crisis.

When I visited Chechnya, I was taken aback at first because people would regularly make jokes about kidnapping me.

We're still living with the old paradigm of age as an arch. That's the old metaphor: You're born, you peak at midlife and decline into decrepitude.

I'm 33 years old; I'm getting old. Every year is different, and as an athlete, you've got to be honest with yourself.

Rather, to change a habit, you must keep the old cue, and deliver the old reward, but insert a new routine.