Top 1200 Parenthood Funny Quotes & Sayings - Page 3

It's hard not to use cliches when talking about parenthood.

I'm quite sarcastic, and I'm funny, but not kind of funny. It's a weird funny, and some people don't get me, and some people do.

Planned Parenthood, we're going to get rid of that.

It's true: I don't remember what life was like before parenthood.

Thank you, Planned Parenthood. God bless you.

I don't think anything can prepare you for parenthood.

Pominville is going to have to open a planned parenthood center!

Someone trying to be funny probably isn't as funny as someone who doesn't want to be funny but is and can't help it. Someone being serious or angry might be funny. If you get angry, the first thing I want to do is laugh because I don't know why you're getting that angry. Pathos makes me laugh, funerals make me laugh.

Parenthood...It's about guiding the next generation, and forgiving the last.

Parenthood is the passing of a baton, followed by a lifelong disagreement as to who dropped it.

The original outline for 'Mississippi Grind' was actually an attempt to go funny. But when we showed it to people we realized that maybe it wasn't as funny to other people as it was to us - we have a pretty specific sense of what's funny - and then we thought, O.K., we need to do this more like we would actually make one of our movies.

What people really want is not to make something funny, but to make something amusing - which, in many ways, is the opposite of funny. To amuse someone is to eliminate discomfort and awkwardness, kind of like a massage for the brain, while to be funny is to point out awkwardness and discomfort. Everyone thinks they want funny, but they really want amusement.

Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny.

I like ones that pertain to the music they make. Talking Heads does that somehow. More often than not band names are just a quirky joke that doesn't really stay funny for very long. It's like Homer Simpson's barbershop quartet, the Be Sharps. At first you're like, 'That's funny!' Then you're like, 'It's not that funny.'

Garrett Hardin. Parenthood: Right or Privilege? Science Magazine.

The end of parenthood is implicit in its beginning: separation.

Parenthood is an amazing opportunity to be able to ruin someone from scratch.

You can't go into parenthood as a battle wearing armour. It doesn't work that way.

Lou Holtz, I was also a huge fan of. He was really funny. I think that's a big part of why I was attracted to the Razorbacks: I thought Lou Holtz was really funny. He is really funny. Too bad he's a born-again, or whatever.

There's nothing as satisfying, thrilling and gratifying as parenthood.

Helplessness in the face of a child's suffering is the curse of parenthood.

In practicing the art of parenthood, an ounce of example is worth a ton of preachment.

There are the class clowns that are disruptive and the kids laugh and you earn the teacher's disdain, I was the kind of class clown that also cracked the teacher up. I was funny in a way that was not dissing the teacher; I was funny just to be funny.

Parenthood changes things a lot.

There are funny gay people, and there are funny Indian people, and that's why we watch TV, to laugh. It only makes sense to include all types of funny people, whether or not they're gay or straight or what have you.

I understand that I have many, many friends who are women who understand Planned Parenthood better than you or I will ever understand it. And they do some very good work. Cervical cancer, lots of women's issues, women's health issues are taken care of. I know one of the candidates, I won't mention names, said, "We're not going to spend that kind of money on women's health issues." I am. Planned Parenthood does a really good job at a lot of different areas. But not on abortion. So I'm not going to fund it if it's doing the abortion.

There's no encyclopedia or book about parenthood. You learn on the fly.

Planned Parenthood has a large target on its back.

Parenthood has made me more cautious.

My music has to be funny and sad and happy and loving; it's gotta have it all. When somebody's just too dark all the time, it's just drama. Or if somebody's too funny? Well, I like being too funny sometimes.

I never wrote a check to Planned Parenthood.

Comedy isn't really something where you get discovered. You can't network your way to being funny or talented. It's not hard to get seen if you're funny. If you're funny, talented, and work hard, you will go somewhere.

Planned Parenthood is a very important part of my professional life.

I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way.

I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. Unfortunately, my career is increasingly leading me into rooms where everybody is funny. I'm the least funny person in a room full of funny people.

For some reason, people find me funny. It's quite hard to define why a thought is funny. It's even harder to define why a person would be funny. It's a word that I can't define at all. But whether I know quite what it is or not, I seem to be it.

One of my top priorities will be to defund Planned Parenthood.

I've noticed, as a comedy fan, that I really like Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino because when they're funny, they're actually funny. It's not like when other dramatic writers have comedy, and I'm just like, 'Well, that's not funny. Why are you even trying to make a joke here?'

Parenthood abruptly catapults us into a permanent relationship with a stranger.

'Entourage' was a show that existed around wish-fulfillment. People watched it because they wanted to believe they could go on private jets and be hanging out in Hollywood, but as a show, comedically, it was not funny. Not a funny show. It's funny, ironically, because of how terrible it is.

My philosophy is that if you're playing a moment truthfully, that it's a funny moment, then hopefully it will be funny. I like to just go for a truth in the work as much as I can. There's a lack of ego when you're working with comedy that I really love. It's hard to come up with something funny. It's become a fun game in a way. Everyone is going for the gold, for that humor.

I don't really find things funny unless they're deeply tragic at the same time. I think if you're funny just for the sake of being funny, it's just frivolous nonsense. To me, all the best comic plays have been written about really serious and rather bleak things.

I do think there are some actors that can get away with trying to be funny, and they're still funny because they're just likeable, and you want to see them. Me, though, when you see me trying to be funny, it's like the worst thing in the world. It's needy, it's cloying, it's manipulative - it's bad.

Parenthood is such a lesson in self-sacrifice.

It's the best thing going, parenthood.

I don't think anyone masters parenthood.

When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny.

'Parenthood' has been the beneficiary of wonderful performances by child actors.

I had always believed that I would retire with Planned Parenthood.

No funding for Planned Parenthood; protect the unborn.

When you experience parenthood, it makes you look at the other side as well.

Mr. McCabe thinks that I am not serious but only funny, because Mr. McCabe thinks that funny is the opposite of serious. Funny is the opposite of not funny and nothing else.

Parenthood remains the greatest single preserve of the amateur.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn't funny, you'd want to punch him in the face; he'd just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he's funny.

That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.

As far as my personality, my friends and family know I'm crazy! I love to have fun; I'm bubbly. People say I'm funny but I don't know that I'm funny: I don't try to be funny and tell jokes and stuff like that, but I always got something slick to say.

Planned Parenthood is absolutely wasteful spending.

I think funny is just the foundation. I don't really think, to some extent, funny is the absolute most important thing. It should also communicate some idea through the medium of cartooning. Just to be funny is... You know what, the things that you laugh hardest at aren't cartoons.

I think, as a comedian, the funniest you can be is with people you know, and [whom] you've known for years, in a pub. That's as funny as you get, and so the aim [while stand-up] is to get that funny on stage with 5,000 strangers, to get that funny in a room where people shouldn't be listening but they are.

Parenthood has been the beneficiary of wonderful performances by child actors.