Top 1200 Practical Joke Quotes & Sayings - Page 19
Explore popular Practical Joke quotes.
Last updated on April 19, 2025.
I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are.
I rarely joke unless I'm in front of a camera. It's not what I am in real life. It's what I do for a living.
You could write a joke in the pub at lunchtime and watch it performed on television that evening.
The Muppets are no joke. They are for real. Each one has an agent and manager and all that stuff. I'm not even kidding.
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
What other culture could have produced someone like Hemingway and not seen the joke?
I always joke around and say my lifestyle is kind of like James Bond.
I sometimes joke that I can take personal responsibility for saving one million human relationships.
Me and the Rock do look a lot alike, and we're a similar build - that was a joke, by the way.
I'm scared of slipping up, of just doing a joke that makes me laugh.
I have been sober for the longest time. Oh, it's over a decade now. No joke.
The old joke in my family is that the last person who isn't from New York was coming from Russia.
There's always that little bit of tension that happens when you make a joke, especially when there's a language barrier.
Just because something isn't practical doesn't mean it's not worth creating. Sometimes beauty and real-life magic are enough.
Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.
My family joke that I'm really a very senior person who accidentally happens to be 11.
Even evangelicals realize that Pinocchio's father was a carpenter too. That's the old joke.
There's usually nothing in a guy's joke in which we have to understand what's going on in someone else's mind.
In the practical art of war, the best thing of all is to take the enemy's country whole and intact; to shatter and destroy it is not so good.
I lived that life for real, so to talk about it was like a joke, you know what I mean?
A joke is just a paintbrush. It takes someone funny to paint something beautiful.
Speculations apparently the most unprofitable have almost invariably been those from which the greatest practical applications have emanated.
The joke is the purest, most essential form of storytelling. Every word has to count.
Never laughing too loudly in a restaurant no matter how good the joke.
I always joke that, at any given time, I'm supposed to be at two other places.
Laughter is the only tenable attitude in a universe which is a joke played on itself.
I think Noah Hawley's writing is hilarious, and I love a good dark joke.
Anyone who can't tell the difference between a joke and hate speech is just stupid.
I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.
I'm not romantic; I'm very practical. There are lots of fish in the sea; so whoever gets struck with your rod, one is as good as another.
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
Fame is a big joke. Stars need to stop taking themselves so seriously.
Half the battle is that people have to like you before you say one joke, one bit of humor.
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.
That sun is lookin' good... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.
We can actually do some very practical things that can help people's lives and make life better for Kentuckians and that's what I'm all about.
Is anything wrong, dear? the old joke went. No, why? You moved. Just don't move.
She loved three things — a joke, a glass of wine, and a handsome man.
Some people will go for the quick joke and not pay attention to the consequences.
I don't want to end up being some joke on a bad TV series.
When I design a wedding dress with a bustle, it has to be one the bride can dance in. I love the idea that something is practical and still looks great.
If I'm connected to an idea, it just doesn't let me go. All I have to do is catch up to the image in my head by doing the practical steps to get there.
All the interests of my reason, speculative as well as practical, combine in the three following questions: 1. What can I know? 2. What ought I to do? 3. What may I hope?
When someone says, 'I recognize you,' I'll say, 'Congratulations on having a TV.' It's a little joke.
I feel like a lot of comedies out are just the same consistent joke.
That's life's big joke: we all end up looking like Mr. Burns.
Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.
My friends joke I'm a 90-year-old stuck in a young man's body.
For Joey Bishop, always was kind of the lost soul, so I did a traffic joke.
I often joke that I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had.
I joke that I was basically born and raised in airports. I feel most at home at JFK.
To be perfectly honest with you, I think that The Darkness is a joke, and that's, unfortunately, exactly what the world wants.
A lot of women say, 'I look good thanks to magic creams,' but that's a joke.
There are no ordinary people.. it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit.
When I came back to America, I realized that world music is no joke, it really has a lot to it.
Call me Meier," Goring said, but he did not pause to explain the joke .
Have you considered the option of getting the joke? If not, try it now and redeem your soul.
I sometimes joke that I'm half Jewish, because I was raised Catholic... and we share 'the guilt.'
Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.
Everyone is a comedy. If people are laughing at you, they just don't quite understand the joke that is themselves.
