Top 162 Retarded Quotes & Sayings

The mass of workers, as yet non-Socialist, is retarded in its development towards Socialism.

Guys are kind of retarded until they're about 30.

So far as this argument is concerned nonhuman animals and infants and retarded humans are in the same category; and if we use this argument to justify experiments on nonhuman animals we have to ask ourselves whether we are also prepared to allow experiments on human infants and retarded adults; and if we make a distinction between animals and these humans, on what basis can we do it, other than a bare-faced - and morally indefensible - preference for members of our own species?

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.

Unix has retarded OS research by 10 years and linux has retarded it by 20.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

Your Olympic Hero is scheduled to wrestle a match against the man they call the big red retard; not that I have anything against retarded people cause I don't. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of retarded fans out there that admire and respect your Olympic Hero, and I wish them well.

And when native man left off this form of development, his humanization was retarded in growth.

The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above "functionally retarded".

We should not import a retarded political Islamic society into our country.

But I've often said that if I had – I have two dogs – if I had two retarded children, I'd be a hero. And yet the dogs, which are pretty much the same thing. What? They're sweet. They're loving. They're kind, but they don't mentally advance at all. Dogs are like retarded children.

Jello's Biafra kind of like my weird, retarded uncle. He's part of the family.

We feel that animals have the same rights as retarded human nchild because they are equal mentally in terms of dependence on others.

I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand.

I'm a bit retarded, like most Americans.

Underneath this veneer of slightly crazy and mildly socially retarded, I'm a complete disaster.

I don't smoke at all. I think that cigarettes are actually retarded. I don't understand why people do that to themselves.

Though the profusion of Government must undoubtedly have retarded the natural progress of England to wealth and improvement, it has not been able to stop it.

Revenge is for children and the emotionally retarded.

Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim.

The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.

I've had tons of bullies who would call me retarded, even on my Facebook page. It's sad and it really hurts. I want to tell people not to use the word. Don't say your friend's retarded when they do something foolish. If you have a disability, keep working hard. Whatever it takes, do it, and don't be mean to people.

You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded.

I've been awkward forever. I have really low expectations for myself. When I do perform to some sort of social standard, I leave feeling really comfortable. I'm either so awkward that I look retarded or I'm so awkward that everyone else feels retarded.

My sister is also retarded. Across the board. She's a one hundred per cent, honest to goodness, born that way retard. I learned a long time ago that if you're going to tell a story about your retarded sister, you need to mention she's retarded right off the bat or inevitably, at the end of the story, someone will say, What... is she, retarded? And then you have to go, Uh... yeah, she is. Followed by a lengthy, awkward silence.

I like to watch retarded people have sex, am I alone?

I may be ugly and clumsy, but one thing I'm not, I'm not retarded.

I was thought to be retarded as a child, and all the evidence indicates that I was.

Me, I'm spiritually retarded, I need to be knee deep in water with a fly rod in my hands, that's about as close to God as I get.

I collect things that just look retarded.

Hip-hop ain't died because of the South, that's retarded.

If no one figures out you are pretending to be retarded, your life will be greeted with treasure.

I still love her. But she's retarded, too.

That woman doesn't have the sense God gave a retarded flea.

My intellectual development was retarded, as a result of which I began to wonder about space and time only when I had already grown up.

Our relationship is complicated by the fact that I am emotionally retarded.

Scholastic learning and polemical divinity retarded the growth of all true knowledge.

...the sun rose each morning to stare into my face with the blank but touching gaze of a lovely retarded child.

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

I used to be a Geico Caveman for live events. I was a corporate mascot. It was the silliest job. It was actually awesome and fun, but it was retarded.

I've been told that I'm incompetent, socially retarded, maladjusted. I still know that I couldn't function in reality. Los Angeles is a good place for me.

But there is merit even in the mentally retarded legislator. He asks the questions that everyone is afraid to ask for fear of seeming simple.

We have an obligation to help people that cannot help themselves. The mentally retarded, the physically retarded, et cetera.

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded?

They think we are retarded. They are retarded.

I was diagnosed as mentally retarded as late as the fourth grade.

Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.

Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing!

Religion is the retarded stepchild of philosophy.

A moving body whose motion was not retarded by any resisting force would continue to move to all eternity.

Science has been seriously retarded by the study of what is not worth knowing and of what is not knowable.

I love any movie that has a retarded person working at Starbucks.

And, well, that's my story," I said. "I'm sorry that it's so, you know. Retarded.

America may be the land of the free, but there are definitely more ignorant people there. Most of the population are semi-retarded.

One of my favorite sketches, and a popular comedy formula, is to put someone with a mental handicap in some kind of unlikely situation. For example: The retarded gynecologist, the retarded Jesus, the retarded Osama Bin Laden. It works. It's funny. Inappropriate? I dunno. I feel like I'm a pretty good judge of what crosses the line of good taste being that I am retarded. Socially perhaps, but severly retarded.

I'm retarded - I mean I'm retired.

We're just musically and rhythmically retarded. We play so hard that we can't tune our guitars fast enough. People can relate to that.

If you judge a person by the company they keep, then I'm retarded.

The movies are an eruption of trash that has lamed the American mind and retarded Americans from becoming cultured people.