Top 567 Santa Claus Quotes & Sayings

I'm Santa Claus to these hoes without a reindeer.

Growing up, Santa Claus would cover the presents with a white blanket, so when we'd wake up Christmas morning, we had to wait for my dad to do the big reveal of all the presents Santa brought.

"You don't believe in God," I said to Stein. "God is a word banging around in the human nervous system. He exists about as much as Santa Claus." "Santa Claus has had a tremendous influence, exist or not." "For children." "Lots of saints have died for God with a courage that's hardly childish." "That's part of the horror. It's all a fantasy. It's all for nothing."

The real Santa Claus is at the mall.

I have memories of the time when I was younger and when I believed in Santa Claus, which was the best part of Christmas. Back then, I wrote to Santa every year, hoping that my mom would post the letter with a stamp to the North Pole!

Here comes Santa Claus! Here comes Santa Claus! Right down Santa Claus Lane!

All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.

When I was 21 years old, I had a job playing Santa Claus in a shopping centre in Sacramento. I was rail thin, so it's not like I was a traditional Santa Claus even then. I had a square stomach; that was the shape of the sofa cushion that I had stuffed into my pants.

No, he was no such charlatan-- Count de Hoboken Flash-in-the-Pan-- Full of gasconade and bravado, But a regular, rich Don Rataplane, Santa Claus de la Muscavado, Senor Grandissimo Bastinado! His was the rental of half Havana And all Matanzas; and Santa Ana, Rich as he was, could hardly hold A candle to light the mines of gold Our Cuban owned.

For the most part, people use God as Santa Claus.

The Santa Claus principle liquidates itself.

I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Underneath the mistletoe last night. She didn't see me creep down the stairs to have a peep; She thought that I was tucked up in my bedroom fast asleep. Then, I saw mommy tickle Santa Claus Underneath his beard so snowy white; Oh, what a laugh it would have been. If daddy had only seen. mommy kissing Santa Claus, last night.

Grown ups don't believe in Santa Claus. They vote.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

I know I'm 38 but I insist that santa claus exists and he raped my mother when I was 9.

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit ... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Not everyone who sells Christmas trees believes in Santa Claus.

If Mitt Romney was Santa Claus, he would fire the reindeer and outsource the elves.

Children are grateful when Santa Claus puts in their stockings gifts of toys or sweets. Could I not be grateful to Santa Claus when he put in my stockings the gift of two miraculous legs? We thank people for birthday presents of cigars and slippers. Can I thank no one for the birthday present of birth?

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you've been bad and good.

We have confused God with Santa Claus. And we believe that prayer means making a list of everything you don't have but want and trying to persuade God you deserve it. Now I'm sorry, that's not God, that's Santa Claus.

Well when I was a kid, I asked Santa Claus for some toys. Santa Claus wrote me a letter that he lost his bag. He said he'd get back to me next year.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

I remember arguing with kids on the street who were talking about Santa Claus. I said don't be so daft - Santa Claus doesn't come down our chimney. He's an economic Santa Claus; he goes down chimneys where they've got money.

I'm the only one who still believes in Santa Claus!

Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.

We have domesticated God's transcendence. We often learn about God at about the same time as we are learning about Santa Claus; but our ideas about Santa Claus change, mature and become more nuanced, whereas our ideas of God can remain at a rather infantile level.

A good many things go around in the dark besides Santa Claus.

History is like Santa Claus: a language construction. We have some registers about the existence of Santa and history - the presents under the tree, the archives - but none have really seen them.

I'm writing a book called 'The Indisputable Existence of Santa Claus' about the maths of Christmas: how to set up a secret Santa so it's totally fair; how to decorate your tree mathematically; how to win at Monopoly.

I have more faith in Santa Claus now than I do an exec.

Nobody shoots at Santa Claus.

I think Santa Claus is, by and large, quite beneficial, for when the child is finally allowed -- or forced -- to recognize the nonexistence of Santa Claus, then the child is able to go through the vital intellectual process of reconstructing reality in light of new evidence, complete with back-forming new stories to account for past events. This prepares the child for many other disillusionments and gives her vital and well-supported experience in maintaining her grip on reality independent of the stories told to her at any given time.

I'm trying to get far away from [picturing God as] Gandalf or Santa Claus.

I believed in Santa Claus until I was 12!

Maybe Santa Claus is real. Here's the problem: reality.

Like everyone in his right mind, I feared Santa Claus.

You can't trick The Universe - it's like Santa Claus that way.

Do you remember when you found out there was no Santa Claus? I was so upset I didn't think I'd be able to do the show.

The title of that great Christmas song was 'Boogie Woogie Santa Claus,' and no one ever heard of it.

I see Santa Claus and Joseph Smith and Luke Skywalker as the same person.

You remember when you were a kid growing up, and believed in Santa Claus? There's not much difference between Santa Claus and me today, you know. We're two overweight lovable guys that kids really enjoy.

Whenever you give someone a present or sing a holiday song, you're helping Santa Claus. To me, that's what Christmas is all about. Helping Santa Claus!

The greatest thing is not to believe in Santa Claus; it is to be Santa Claus.

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.

I was probably nine or ten the first time I heard there was no Santa Claus.

'The Santa Claus' with Tim Allen, I watch it in July. I think he's so funny.

I'm concerned about my daughter because she will not believe in Santa Claus. No matter what I say to her, she just doesn't buy it, and she's 2. I refuse to give it up. I say, 'There is a Santa Claus,' and she says, 'Okay, Mommy. In pretend world, right?' She really doesn't believe.

You folks feeling the economic pinch? Are you a little fed up with the economic news? It's bad. The department stores, this holiday season, no Santa Claus. They're laying off department-store Santa Clauses. So more bad news for John McCain.

It's like giving up a belief in Santa Claus.

Jesus is Santa Claus for Adults.

Please be informed, there is a Santa Claus.

It's called the Santa Claus effect; the holiday period is traditionally a strong cycle.

There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

I had this grand idea that Elvira's kind of the Santa Claus of Halloween - at the malls, you'd have an Elvira there. Girls would dress as Elvira just like guys dress as Santa Claus, and it's not the real thing, but they'll pose for pictures, sign autographs. Of course, I couldn't go around to every mall, so we'd have to get more Elviras.

I use to believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tom Cruise too.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

A man of fifty looks as old as Santa Claus to a girl of twenty.