Top 159 Scotch Quotes & Sayings

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

I wanna get drunk 'til I'm off my mind. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

If I were not French I would choose to be - Scotch.

My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias.

I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch

Well, between Scotch and nothin', I suppose I'd take Scotch. It's the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find.

If you want to feel less sexy put scotch tape on your nipples.

Hot and hasty, like a Scotch jig.

You can do a lot with Scotch tape. Almost anything! I love that you can hem a dress, and its an instant remedy in a fashion crises.

You mix two jiggers of Scotch to one jigger of Metrecal. So far I've lost five pounds and my driver's license.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.

Give me a scotch, I'm starving.

Incredible to think isn't it, that every single Scotsman, started off as a scotch egg. Old and gingery.

Vodka eyeballing sounds great, but it's a slippery slope. Next, you'll be scotch nostriling, tequila nippling and, before you know it, Jager tainting.

It was the sort of house that glows with substance and savoir vivre in those advertisements for the best Scotch. It had wonderful bones.

Why don’t you come up and have a little ... scotch and sofa?

My God, so much I like to drink Scotch that sometimes I think my name is Igor Stra-whiskey.

If you take a scotch whiskey and distill out the alcohol, what is left has an amazing taste to it and can be used as a flavoring for a dessert.

I'm a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch but I don't get it. It smells like a girl who didn't shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.

I'm after a snake and please God I'll scotch it.

So what are you planning to do with the rest of your life? Develop a drinking problem. More Scotch, please.

I'm tri-racial: African-American, Native American and Euro - that's the Scotch-Irish part.

Wooing, wedding, and repenting is as a Scotch jig, a measure, and a cinque-pace: the first suit is hot and hasty like a Scotch jig--and full as fantastical; the wedding, mannerly modest, as a measure, full of state and ancientry; and then comes repentance and with his bad legs falls into the cinque-pace faster and faster, till he sink into his grave.

Well I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when, I've been drinking bourbon whiskey, scotch and gin Gonna get high man I'm gonna get loose, Need me a triple shot of that juice Gonna get drunk don't you have no fear I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer One bourbon, one scotch, one beer.

I remember my dreams when I was a junior soloist. 'Oh, I hope I don't end here,' I thought. 'I want to do the ballerina in 'Scotch Symphony.' I don't want to be the little Scotch girl.' And I actually went beyond my wildest dreams. I worked with Balanchine. I had ballets choreographed for me.

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

Whoever said laughter is the best medicine had clearly never tasted scotch.

It's not good to throw back scotch with a new fetus.

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch.

The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.

Come, let me know what it is that makes a Scotch man happy!

For God's sake bring me a large Scotch. What a bloody awful country.

My family was a bunch of drunks. When I was six I came up missing, they put my picture on a bottle of scotch.

I'm all in favor of getting grants for musicians. Or any other good brand of Scotch.

I've had very little sex. I like my Scotch, but I've never been drunk.

I am very happy when people write that they have worn out my books, or that they are held together by Scotch tape. I consider that the ultimate compliment.

Scotch Whisky is about the only thing left that is guaranteed to bring comfort to mankind.

I am one who fights without a knack of hoping confidentlysimply a Scotch-Irishman who will not be conquered.

I mulled over what he had told me as I savored the Scotch. Not bad, really - like a beer that's been in a brawl.

Allison Winn Scotch is the real deal and The Department of Lost and Found is one you absolutely won't want to miss.

I'm a beer man. I tried to drink whiskey and Scotch, but I don't get it. It smells like a girl who didn't shower and just splashed a lot of perfume on.

The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.

If things were half as bad as some people persist in believing, I'd have retired with a bottle of Scotch and a pistol a long time ago.

Jimmy used to drink liquor. Now he's running for president and he drinks Scotch, and I've never trusted a Scotch-drinker.

I would always see my dad who was a big scotch drinker just enjoying his scotch with one ice cube or neat.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

One good thing about rain in Scotland. Most of it ends up as scotch.

The whole [Scotch] nation hitherto has been void of wit and humour, and even incapable of relishing it.

There's nothing quite like a Scotch education. One is left with an irreparable debt. My head is full of irregular verbs still.

I started drinking Scotch just to be a man.

Fey...a Scotch word...It means the kind of exalted happiness that comes before disaster. You know--it's too good to be true.

Yeah, tell me I'm a bottle of single malt scotch, she thought. That's the way to my heart.

I'm half Scotch-Irish on both sides, and when I lose my temper-brother, I go.

An appreciation of prose is learned, not instinctive. It is an acquired taste, like Scotch whisky.

Hey, single malt scotch, youre thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married to my stomach?

You know how we make a Scotch and water in this home?" "No, sir," Gus said. "We pour Scotch into a glass and then call to mind thoughts of water, and then we mix the actual Scotch with the abstracted idea of water.

I should never have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

If there's a God out there, then i would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.

Scotch whisky is made from barley and the morning dew on angel's nipples.

I was brought up to believe that Scotch whisky would need a tax preference to survive in competition with Kentucky bourbon.