Top 1200 Stand Up Comedian Quotes & Sayings - Page 12

You always have to stand up for yourself.

I don't do stand-up anymore.

I don't really do stand-up.

When I was a teenager, I met a comedian who I admired, and he was very rude to me. That's why when people come up to me I try not to be rude. I don't want to name who he is, but it really put me off watching his stuff since.

I'm so in love with you I can't stand up.

It's the same things your whole life. 'Clean up your room!', 'Stand up straight!', 'Pick up your feet!', 'Take it like a man!', 'Be nice to your sister!', 'Don't mix beer and wine, ever!'. Oh yeah, 'Don't drive on the railroad track!'

There are things you can't back down on, things you gotta take a stand on. But it's up to you to decide what them things are. You have to demand respect in this world, ain't nobody just gonna hand it to you. How you carry yourself, what you stand for--that's how you gain respect. But, little one, ain't nobody's respect worth more than your own.

Stand-up is hard.

It is important to stand up to bullies.

Stand up for what you know is right.

I can tell you this: Stand-up is not glamorous.

We have been conditioned as a society to believe that you stand there in a gentlemanly fashion and punch each other in the head until someone is unconscious and we celebrate. We celebrate the fact that I can punch him in the head until he is unconscious and can't think straight and stand up. I gotta tell you, I have a problem with that sport.

Someone has to stand up for wimps.

I'm not a natural comic, I don't think. That's why I gave up stand-up. It was hard. It involved a lot of death. Dying. Dying on stage. But it's one of those jobs you can only learn by doing it.

There comes a time when you have to stand up and be counted.

I hated stand-up.

I stand up for the things I believe in.

Stand-up is good therapy.

I think it's arguable about which one [Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump] will wind up being more harmful to us. But what I am very convinced of is that we're not going to move forward unless we stand up.

I stand up to people.

For me any moment in front of a crowd is embarrassing, because I can't stand being in front of people. I'm probably one of the worst public speakers. I try to avoid it, but there are times when it's just too rude not to do it. But there really isn't a moment that's not embarrassing for me if I'm going to stand up in front of a crowd.

I went to L.A. to become an actress, and I started from the ground up. I worked as an extra, and then I started taking this joke-writing class because it was free. I didn't want to be a comedian, but I was like, 'Free education? Yeah, I'll take a class.'

Is there any sex-distinction in the Atman (Self)? Out with the differentiation between man and woman—all is Atman! Give up the identification with the body, and stand up!

Sydney and I made so many pictures together we were becoming Abbott and Costello, so we broke up. You know Greenstreet was a comedian before he played 'The Maltese Falcon' and in that picture his dialogue consisted of seven pages in a row which he memorized weeks ahead.

There's a fallacy with stand up comedy, which is, people come up to comedians, and they go, 'You say what I think but I'm not brave enough to say,' and that's not particularly true.

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

You can’t stand up in a Cadillac, either.

Stand-up is my baby.

I stand up for all rights.

The beginning of sense, not to say wisdom, is to realize that 'doing an action,' as used in philosophy, is a highly abstract expression--it is a stand-in used in the place of any (or almost any?) verb with a personal subject, in the same sort of way that 'thing' is a stand-in for anynoun substantive, and 'quality' a stand-in for the adjective.

You stand up for what you believe in.

The time is here for you to stand up for what you know is right. You must judge right from wrong. No longer can you be complacent or go with the flow or wonder what to do. You must decide now which path you will follow and which answer you will give. Decide well in advance, before the pressure is on, what you stand for.

I've got to stand up for the sport.

If you do believe in science, you really have to actually stand up and make a stand for it. You can't just say, the facts aren't in. Science is always looking for better explanations to everything, but that doesn't mean that when we get on a plane we don't know what's supposed to happen next. And if it doesn't go the way that it's planned, that's a big, big problem. The culture wars are very tricky and make me a little sad.

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!

In stand up every joke is thought about so meticulously, and one word can completely change how the audience responds. You're up there with no safety net; you can't shirk responsibility. It's your thoughts; it's your voice. You can't blame it on the writing, you can't blame it on the editor. You are just up there completely naked.

Stand-up, by far, is my favorite.

Stand up and finish what you started

Please don't stand up on my account.

It's important to stand up for what you believe in.

You want to shut up every Negro who has the courage to stand up and fight for the rights of his people, for the rights of workers, and I have been on many a picket line for the steelworkers too.

I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.

I grew up in a food-obsessed Italian family, so food was always front and center in my life. I was a food obsessed person who morphed into a comedian and tried to figure out a way to make fun of my cake and eat it too.

I'm not a guy who goes into the neighborhood, gets beat up by the bully's gang, and then now I want to join their gang. That's just not me. I wanna fight - let's go! I mean, I'm gonna stand up for myself. That's just the competitive nature of where I come from, the era I grew up in.

I've seen many female comics that a lot of people haven't heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.

Speak up, stand up, and keep correcting the false perceptions. Stay true to your heart's views and keep chanting for peace and justice.

I think the idea now of being a performer in this era of social media saturation means that you have to be an actor, a musician, a stand-up comic, writer, or a director. Focusing in on one thing doesn't take up all of your time.

Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself.

Stand up, be counted. We have the numbers.

The one who doesn't fall, doesn't stand up.

My goal is to forever do stand up.

The Gospel can stand up to scrutiny.

We have this day to be alive. We better lay down and give up, or stand up and really make some worthwhile memories for ourselves. 'Cause we're not going to be alive forever

It is so easy in this world to forget yourself or what you are here to assist with. So many either are consumed by their 'issues' or they get themselves so 'stoned' from drugs and alcohol that they are not fully aware of who they are. Myself together with all of the dimensions are here to assist each and every human who is currently experiencing this as themselves. We are to stand before each of you and show you your own worth, who you truly are and that the time to stand up has arrived!

As a stand-up comic, you have to do the road.

It's just to break things up between stand-up gigs. I would only do it periodically. Maybe just an East Coast thing.

I can stand up for myself.

I've never considered stand-up. Luckily I'm given great lines to say. I'm not sure how great my timing would be if I actually had to come up with my own jokes.

I'll always do stand-up.

Oh, I love stand-up.